Prayers needed

[Q-La]

First off I'd like to thanks those who talked to me last nite on the IRC as I was feeling a bit depressed. I think I can use all the prayers in the communion from you brothers and sisters.
I think there is a rather high possibility that I am going to break up with my 15 years GF, the girl I dated since 17. To make it short, I just found out that she cheated on me the second time and after she broke up with the other guy immediately due to reasons on top of my immediate feelings, the main reasons for her actions seem to be that she doesn't feel strongly the love and fondness of me as a bf for some years now, but more like a brother / family member. On the practical side, it is going to be difficult for me, as we have bought an apartment and decorated it, but if we are to breakup I will let her have it after taking out part of the money I put in. I am not saying it is a definite yet, we (more like she suggested) we should see each other in a friendly manner for like 3 months and see there is anything still there after more reflections and prayers. I was totally broken and disappointed of course, but being quite able to forgive and that I also love her like a family member after all these years on top of the specific kind of love, I've already forgiven her and can take her back, if she wants to be back. But we just don't want to be like that. Not just obligation. Wherever we are heading, please pray for us, thanks.

 

[f U z ! o N]

im not trying to be rude but 15 years?! why haven't you proposed before then!
i hope things turn out for the best.

 

[Heavenlyangeleyes07]

Im sorry to hear about that and that she cheated on you. i hope you guys can work something out. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Q-La]

Thank you for your prayers and wishes . Reason for not proposing was that I haven't got a job that could secure our living yet (housing is EXPENSIVE here) so we kept studying till we finished our post-grad only a few years back. For her past cheats she feel sorry that it hurts me but it is now sort of conclusive that she doesnt like/love me enough to respect me enough. Anyway that seem to have ruined our earlier thoughts/plans of getting married as we are getting real close (just got an apartment decorated). She is praying for a final decision (please pray for her too) but I think the result would be obvious. I am feeling much calmer now and we will still be friends. What am I to do with the rest of my life? Got to ask God soon.

 

[Carri20]

Ouch.. I'm really sorry that happened. There is NEVER a good reason for cheating, even if you have been together for 15 years without proposing (and by the way, I think it's great that you're able to hold off for so long in order to get yourself a good job and make sure you can support a family! To me that shows great patience and responsibility!) I will say a prayer for you and her. Whatever happens, trust in God.

 

[jmikey]

15yrs...not to get too personal, but the average woman won't wait that long for marriage. In her eyes the relationship changed a ling time ago, which is exactly what you are going through now. She has gotten comfortable around you and sees you as a friend, not a boyfriend. It's time you remind her, really remind her of your feelings and what you two mean to eachother. Use everything you know of her, yourself and the relationship you two have grown together and show her what it means to be in an intimate and meaningful relationship.

Honestly she only cheated on yhou twice in 15yrs. she's complacent. It's about time for you to put a ring on her finger. If she's stood by this long, she's proven she's willing to commit. Everything in this relationship is resting on what you will do.

You are in my prayers...May God give you the strength, guidance, and will to do what is in His will. That it may also bring a great joy into your life.

 

[Q-La]

Thanks Carri. I used to think that being able to support her living (she's not working full time now) and subsidising her family would earn me some brownie points too .
Mike she's the kind of girl that dont want to get married when feeling not so secured. It's like if we dont have a house what difference would it make to just dating (not that shes not spiritual). I think many things you said about feeling too comfortable around each other is true. We talked about marriage too (after the incident) but it is exactly that she wouldnt want this to happen again that she want to think about it carefully whether I am the one. And I wouldnt want to get into it if I feel like a second best right. We are trying to take a little bit more time, which is start a feel a bit difficult for me as I don't know if I should use the moment to let my heart be prepared to be vanquished or re-trust (which she may not need afterall). Sometimes I try to talk about the difficulties and negative feelings to her but it is probably not helping to re-establish a sweet atmosphere. She's tired and I am frustrated and we are trying to be cheerful . To think or not to think. By the way regarding the 'common law' thing mentioned earlier - no we dont 'live together', or I wont be calling her GF I guess.

 

[Q-La]

Strangely after much talk of parting, we are still seeing each other a lot. Sometimes I feel confused and ask how's she looking at our relationship and she will feel pressured. She's trying to be a better person to me, may be it's better from a new perspective. I'm a bit worried that I will wind up alone for my life if I try more and more years but I don't know what else to do. Guess have to leave it to God and try to be stronger.