Prayers for someone new

[Missinyou]

The ladies at my church have been asking me when they can start praying for someone new to come into my life and I've been telling them I am doing okay alone, for now. Each Sunday they ask me and I finally came up with the prerequisites.... I left them speechless when I told them, okay it's time, but she has be wearing a full set of leathers, a tattoo is okay but only if it's of a rose. She has to be blonde, really good looking, a widow, 20 years old, and oh yes...rich. Oh yes... she has to have a thing for 55 year old, slightly over weight, bald guys too... and own her own bike, and it can't be a Harley. I just can't handle all that noise at my age.... They just laughed...and said that they guessed that meant I was not ready yet..and I said they catch on quick. One of them called me a moment ago to discuss other stuff and we got to talking about my stipulations. A few moments after she hung up, my phone rang, and without saying hi or anything, she said, "What color". I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I should have asked her if she meant the woman or the bike....

I guess the point of all this is, that if you have problem with people wanting to play match maker, just come up with the most bizzar set of rules you can think of. It should stop them in their tracks...and you can all get a good laugh at the same time...and we need to laugh every chance we get at this point in our lives. It helps to ease some of the pain.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

The ladies at my church have been asking me when they can start praying for someone new to come into my life and I've been telling them I am doing okay alone, for now. Each Sunday they ask me and I finally came up with the prerequisites.... I left them speechless when I told them, okay it's time, but she has be wearing a full set of leathers, a tattoo is okay but only if it's of a rose. She has to be blonde, really good looking, a widow, 20 years old, and oh yes...rich. Oh yes... she has to have a thing for 55 year old, slightly over weight, bald guys too... and own her own bike, and it can't be a Harley. I just can't handle all that noise at my age.... They just laughed...and said that they guessed that meant I was not ready yet..and I said they catch on quick. One of them called me a moment ago to discuss other stuff and we got to talking about my stipulations. A few moments after she hung up, my phone rang, and without saying hi or anything, she said, "What color". I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I should have asked her if she meant the woman or the bike....

I guess the point of all this is, that if you have problem with people wanting to play match maker, just come up with the most bizzar set of rules you can think of. It should stop them in their tracks...and you can all get a good laugh at the same time...and we need to laugh every chance we get at this point in our lives. It helps to ease some of the pain.

I agree! I have a friend that thinks I'm too picky because I told him, my standards are higher now. Why shouldn't they be? If God wants me to be with someone else I trust he will bring them into my life, and give me the feelings to go along with it. Otherwise I am completely content where I am. Sure sometimes I get lonely, but I am still raising 2 boys 13 and 9. My concentration is on them. And I am content with where I am with God. Some people say I am too young to just be single. I didn't know there was a minimum age requirement to remain single . I like you're answer to the ladies. At least you have a sense of humor about it.

 

[JeanR]

I went to a wedding in May and it was hard going with my son as my "date". I never felt so lonely. What was worse was when they asked all the married couples to come up on the dance floor. They did this thing where they asked anyone married less than a year to sit down, then less than 5 years, etc, until they had just one couple left on the dance floor. They were married 56 years. Terry died just 4 months before our 30th anniversary. It was so hard just sitting there watching.

 

[JeanR]

Ok, this is really weird. I typed the message above under the thread where Rick was talking about the 50th anniversary he was at and it posted to this thread.

 

[JeanR]

"You're too young to be a widow--you'll find someone new". That is what I have heard over and over again from the time Terry first died.

I got to the point where I told people that I know thats true in my mind, but my heart hasn't caught up yet.

I have had a weird experience, however. The bible study I started attending after Terry died has a dinner before the study. Since I am coming from center city right to the study, I am usually the last one to arrive and they have already started dinner. It's just amazing, every time I arrive the only seat left is right next to the only single man in the study! Coincidence? I don't think so. The gentleman is very nice, but I wish people would just butt out.

 

[Missinyou]

I went to a wedding in May and it was hard going with my son as my "date". I never felt so lonely. What was worse was when they asked all the married couples to come up on the dance floor. They did this thing where they asked anyone married less than a year to sit down, then less than 5 years, etc, until they had just one couple left on the dance floor. They were married 56 years. Terry died just 4 months before our 30th anniversary. It was so hard just sitting there watching.

Jean, I think you need to be commended on your ability to hang around for something like that. I think I would have had to excuse myself to an area where I could lose control if I needed to. That's what happened at the 50th party in Montana. The thought of "Don't you people realize that I'm here... You should pick the things you do a little better and take other peoples feelings into consideration" goes through my mind. Then I tell myself that life goes on and people still do fun things, and it's something I will have to learn to live with. People are not going to change the chain of events just for me. I have the problem, not them. And life will go on....someday...I know.

 

[Missinyou]

"You're too young to be a widow--you'll find someone new". That is what I have heard over and over again from the time Terry first died.

I got to the point where I told people that I know thats true in my mind, but my heart hasn't caught up yet.

I have had a weird experience, however. The bible study I started attending after Terry died has a dinner before the study. Since I am coming from center city right to the study, I am usually the last one to arrive and they have already started dinner. It's just amazing, every time I arrive the only seat left is right next to the only single man in the study! Coincidence? I don't think so. The gentleman is very nice, but I wish people would just butt out.

When the ladies at church offered to start praying for me, part of me wanted them to...and the other part was wanting them to just leave it up me and God to handle. I realize they mean well and they are only doing it because they care about me and want me to be happy. I guess I have put the humor in to it so I can tell them that I'm okay right where I am so far, without being rude. It's become more of a game now and it provides us all with a way to laugh about life, when most of the time we just want to cry. I don't want to put them off too much...I just may want them to pray for me someday for someone to come into my life...just not yet.

And Jean, perhaps there is logic to the chair situation... If just the right amount of chairs are set up, then that means, if the married couples set next to each other, there will be two chairs left, and since it is human nature to set next to each other, and you are the last one to arrive, then the logical position for the last empty chair would be next to the other single person, with a married couple on the other side... How about that.... LOL

 

[JeanR]

Well, as it happens, this bible study is truly a mix of all ages and marital status. There are only 4 married couples, the rest are this particular gentleman who is single and the women are either widowed, divorced, or never married.

At the last study, I was reaching for the water pitcher to pour myself a glass of water when this particular gentleman took the glass out of my hand and poured me a glass of water. I had an anxiety attack right there on the spot. It took me a little while to calm down and then I felt ridiculous because all he did was pour me a glass of water. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously - lol!

 

[Missinyou]

Well, as it happens, this bible study is truly a mix of all ages and marital status. There are only 4 married couples, the rest are this particular gentleman who is single and the women are either widowed, divorced, or never married.

At the last study, I was reaching for the water pitcher to pour myself a glass of water when this particular gentleman took the glass out of my hand and poured me a glass of water. I had an anxiety attack right there on the spot. It took me a little while to calm down and then I felt ridiculous because all he did was pour me a glass of water. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously - lol!

I have to take myself seriously... I can't find anyone else who'll do it.... LOL

 

[Missinyou]

Well, as it happens, this bible study is truly a mix of all ages and marital status. There are only 4 married couples, the rest are this particular gentleman who is single and the women are either widowed, divorced, or never married.

At the last study, I was reaching for the water pitcher to pour myself a glass of water when this particular gentleman took the glass out of my hand and poured me a glass of water. I had an anxiety attack right there on the spot. It took me a little while to calm down and then I felt ridiculous because all he did was pour me a glass of water. Sometimes we take ourselves too seriously - lol!

You don't happen to have a widow in your group who owns her own bike and wears leathers do you? LOL

 

[rjoymac]

Ha Missinyou we have a lady 20 with her owne bike and loves to wear leather. Just kidding. I had to do that!
I don't think people give it much thought they think they are helping. God love them. Hang in their JeanR. We know God is with us.

 

[Missinyou]

Ha Missinyou we have a lady 20 with her owne bike and loves to wear leather. Just kidding. I had to do that!
I don't think people give it much thought they think they are helping. God love them. Hang in their JeanR. We know God is with us.

Thank you... A good laugh helps in these times of sadness....

 

[Ann Doupont]

Hi Missin,

That's really funny. How long has it been for you?

As for my story, it's unique. I guess all of ours is. I was actually divorced 40 years ago, and my ex died 3 years ago.

I recently found out that legally, that makes me a widow. When I was told that, I cried...not before.

Ann

 

[Missinyou]

Ann,
My wife passed away on June 4,2006...and I guess we will never quit crying..at some of the most inoportune times. She had a lung transplant in November of 2004, which came just in time and gave us another 19 month with her....which was not nearly long enough...but the Lord has His plans and we just have to learn to deal with them, and keep in our hearts, that He knows what's best. I can think of several good reasons that I wish she were still here...and a lot of good reasons that I know she's better off in God's house. Did you ever remarry? And yes I have heard stories how spouces have passed away and because there is no will and no preperartions, all benefits go to their ex's...which has had no contact with them for many many years.
Anyway..we get by, with help from the Lord.
God bless you all.

 

[JeanR]

Well, we don't have a widow in the group who rides a motorcycle, but I can think of one who is up to it! She is an older woman who has traveled the world since her husband died and is up for all kind of adventures. I can only hope to be as spry as she is when I'm 70!

 

[JeanR]

Well, I faced another first since Terry died. Niagara Falls was a special place for us. I visited there this past weekend with 3 very dear friends. I actually did very well--didn't cry once. I really felt Terry's absence, but my friends got me through it. When I got home, though, I fell apart. Two steps forward, one step back, right?

 

[Missinyou]

Just being able to be at a place that was special to both of you without falling to pieces, is a sign that God is working in you and the healing process is well on it's way. There is a park on the way to my church and Patsy and I went there several times just before she died and ate lunch. She really liked it there and it holds those special memories for me, so I would always make sure I used the other street to get to church... Then one day I tried the one that ran in front of the park...and I cried, just as I figured I would. I kept at it, and now, even though I look over at it as I drive by and I remember how we went there together, somehow it doesn't bother me anymore. Perhaps now I just remember how much I cried that first time, rather than picturing her and I there. I have even ventured in to it a couple of times and I made it without a tear.. God's healing powers are at work in all of us... It just takes time.

 

[Michee1209]

All my family is telling me I'll find someone new, also. I know it's too soon for me. I just wonder if I really will. Not many guys will understand what I'm going through that are even near my age.

 

[Missinyou]

All my family is telling me I'll find someone new, also. I know it's too soon for me. I just wonder if I really will. Not many guys will understand what I'm going through that are even near my age.

You might just be mildly surprised. The Lord has a funny way of dealing with things like this..and at the strangest times. Don't hurry, is the main thing. Mistakes are made in haste. Loneliness is a terrible thing, the rest of us can attest to that...but do not mistake loneliness for love.

 

[Michee1209]

Yeah.. I'm definitely struggling with that. I'm doing alot of things with my family. It takes away the loneliness. I still can't sleep in my bed alone.