The following post will be long. I understand if some of you do not want to read it all. This post is actually not just me making a prayer request but it is also me praying to God.
My Mother is a very angry and cranky person. All she does is complain about everything. She does not seem to realize that we all have jobs to do in this life and that when you do them, you do them without complaining. She is not at all content or happy with the life she has chosen for herself. All of the unhappiness that goes on in her life is a direct result of the choices she made. She chose to marry my Father and also marry into my Dad's family, meaning she has to now deal with my Father as well as his Grandmother who lives with us. She chose to have kids, which means she has to deal with me. She chose to move out of our old house and into the new house with my Grandmother. All three of those decisions seemed to have really had a bad impact on her life because she is a truly miserable human being and she thinks God is just supposed to come along and change everything for her. She does not grasp that in this life, we are here to serve God. He is not here to serve us, and that when we embrace God.....one of the great things about serving Him is that He takes care of us once we learn that life is not all about us, but that it is all about God. If she and other people want to be rebels and be like Satan and not serve Him, nothing can stop them but that does mean that they will be leading the life The Devil has in mind for people to lead and his ideal life is for people to be mad all the time and do everything they can to take away happy people's joy. People like my Mom don't even realize that they are doing Lucifer's work for him but going around, trying to ruin other people's happiness and if you told this to my Mother, she'd go insane. She is always saying how she does everything for others and that her whole life is doing for others, but she complains the whole time as she does it, and she calls her Mother and other family members up and complains to them about it, making people like me seem like lazy monsters. I rather her not help me. I don't want to listen to her complain. There have been so many events that could have been fun that were ruined because of her temper and anger. Like when my sister first got her license, when my sister did a play, when I did a play, when my Grandpa died and an event today. All were ruined because she was in a bad mood and when she is mad, she is determined to make everyone else just as miserable and in her mind, we are all wrong, she is right, she is the only one who suffers in life and it's all about her and she is the innocent victim. I pray my Mother never reads these words. She'd be furious if she knew I were saying these things about her on a public forum, but she has no problem insulting others behind their backs. I am not even bashing her. I am trying to help her. I beg for God to forgive her and help her.
You see, I got a job recently and I am really looking forward to working at it. I went to the orientation today, but I don't know how to drive a car. I get nervous behind the wheel, but I am working on those issues right now and pray that one day I will be able to drive. Until then, I depend on others to drive me. Now originally I thought I was supposed to be working at this dog kennel not too far from the house, but it turns out that I won't be. It's this other dog kennel that is further away. When I told my Mother this, she was angry and ruined the day. I was really happy and in a great mood, but she ruined it with her anger. She made everything all about her, how it was going to effect her, complained, complained, complained. I don't want her driving me if she is going to be whining about it. She already called my Father and complained and I am sure she called half of my other family members and whined. Today was supposed to be about me. My day. My job. My challenge. *MY* issue. I wish getting to work could just be MY problem, but my Mom treats me like a baby and thinks that it is all about her. This is my time. Not her's. I want to be independent so bad. It's something I pray about and I believe God will give it to me one day but days like today make me very upset. I am not a bad son either. I help out around the house with the chores, I pray for my Mom all the time and I do my best and I do it without complaining. I got this job so I could move out too. My ideal parent would tell me that I am just going to have to take a cab. That's what I want. To be treated like an adult, to be told to handle my own business. Only a bad parent of a child would be whining about having to be responsible for their child. I am a man now, but my Mom does not get that. My Father kinda does I think. But even he sometimes treats me like a child. I don't want my parents getting into some fight over this like two parents fighting over who is going to take their son to his baseball practice! I am a MAN. Not a child. Just because I cannot drive does not make me a moron or a kid. That makes me so upset when my parents take a problem that I should be dealing with and b**ch and moan and complain like I am a little boy and talk like I am not even there. Heck, even if I was a kid...good parents wouldn't be complaining over what they should do for their son anyway. But I am not a child. I am a man who is trying to move out, trying to be independent and wants to be treated with some level of respect.
What I ask of you God....and what I ask of those who are reading this is to pray that my parents give me this responsibility of getting to work. I have the money. I can afford a cab. When I start working, I'll make more money. It does not coast that much for a cab. I can handle this. I want this. Taking a cab, then going to a job would make me feel like an adult and that is what I desire. So God, please go to my Mother and please remove all demons from her, please help her...because she needs Your help so much. Please bless her and open her eyes and let her realize her sins. Please tell my parents that their son is no longer a child. Please tell them I am a man and that it is up to me to get to work. Car or no car. It is my problem. I deal with it. Not them. My parents want to treat me like a child and think they have to deal with my problems. I don't want them taking care of my problems for me anymore. I want to do it. A good parent would tell their adult child that.
No matter what happens Lord, I will accept it because all I truly want in my life is for Your will to be done. Not mine or anyone else's.
Please read and hear my words Lord.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen
Today has been a tough day. A very tough day. It should have been a good day but because of the gripe Satan has on my Mother, it has turned into a bad one and has really upset me. I don't even think my Mom knows or cares how much she hurt me. I see where she is coming from, but a good parent would not react the way she did. There were so many other ways and she picked the worse one. Most parents would be happy that their grown son who still lives at home has gotten a job and is trying to move out and would do anything they could to support him. But instead, my Mother acts this way.
I think me being so upset is because I love my Mother so much and it hurts when she is not proud of me. I wanted her to be proud of me today and supportive. But she wasn't and that really hurt me. It hurt me to the point that I had tears in my eyes.
It's days like these though that I should be all the more loyal to God and pray more to Him and trust in Him.
I can learn something from Jesus on days like this. I don't dare compare my problems to what Jesus had to go through on the night he was taken away to be crucified. But I did learn something from Jesus. On that night, despite how scared he was, he was still loyal to God and trusted Him and knew what awaited Him after His death on the cross.
That is how I have to be now. I have to trust God and I do.
To everyone who has read my words, please also pray. Please continue to fight along side of me against Satan and the demons that try to invade my home and corrupt my family and I.
Thank you for reading and God bless you.
