Prayer request

[flowerforever7]

Hi,

Please pray for me to be able to get a car ASAP. Everytime I try to get a car I can't because of vows I made about it, blasphemous thoughts against the Holy Spirit concerning the car, etc. I have refused so many potential cars because of vows I made about not getting that type or intrusive thoughts, or genuine anger toward God's Spirit.

I am living with people temporarily, and me moving out is dependent on me getting a car. I have been staying here for a while, and almost every time I try to get a car, my efforts get undermined my what I described.

Please pray for me to get a car that God would be pleased with me getting, and for the path to be clear mentally and emotionally (concerning anxiety), so that I can get a car. I have made so many vows (intrusive, reactionary, genuine) concerning different type of cars, and am afraid of breaking them by buying a car. I don't want to anger God, and I don't want to lose my salvation because I lied to the Holy Spirit kind of by breaking a vow to Him.

I need a car to move out; and I am stuck despite all my efforts at searching and trying to get one. Prayers please???

Thanks.

 

[flowerforever7]

I was putting makeup on to get ready to go see this one car today. I made a vow that I would not put on a lot of makeup. Then I thought, what if I run into someone I know and I don't look that good. And then I thought "get behind me Satan" and pictured the Holy Spirit. RRRRGG. I think I felt genuinely angry at not being able to do what I wanted in terms of putting on the amount of makeup I wanted. Now I feel like if I go see and get this car I will be condemned since me putting on the makeup was in preparation to go see the car. Now I feel like I should cancel this appointment.

 

[tripletiger1200]

I am praying for you, I wouldn't cancel the appointment. God knows that you don't want to struggle with this, and I'd also say that the car could be a blessing if you're willing to just take that leap of faith and trust God enough to fight the thoughts and take it.

 

[Jetzet]

Hi Flowerforever7
Sorry if my English isn’t that good, it is not my first language, but here goes. I totally understand the frustration and fear that you are going through, I have OCD (mainly vow making and bad thoughts) and I went through something similar a years ago. I remember that I vow for some reason, (I cannot even remember why?) that I will not buy a certain type of car.
Then years after that I was looking for a new car and the best buy at that stage was that specific car, (how could I explain to my husband that I cannot buy the car?) I remember the fear and anxiety I went through, I could not stop praying and ask God to please set me free from this vow. I was frantic that He will punish me for not keeping this vow.
I start imagining that I will have a accident and that one of my loved one’s will die, and that that would be my punishment, I can’t describe the fear I went through. After some time the fear started to reduce, until we decide to buy a new car and to give that car to our daughter for her birthday. That really sets of the fear again, and I was so afraid that she will have an accident and that it would be all my fault. I really thought that God will punish me for breaking that vow, and I went through a terrible time again. Now it is 8 years later, and my daughter sold the car since then and buy herself a new car. Neither me or her had any accidents with the car, so I really belief that God did not take that vow serious.
I still suffer from vow making, ( 32 years) sometimes it feel to real as if I really wanted to make this vows, but I know God is a God of mercy and that He understand exactly what we are going through. He know that this vow is actually the last thing on earth that you want to make at that stage, (the vow’s upset you, if you want to vow something for real it would not make you anxious or upset you) but it feel so real to us that we belief that it is what we want to do. Sometimes you think God wants you to make a vow, and that He don’t want you to be happy or enjoy life, kind of like a sacrifice, but that is just the OCD talking, God wants you to be happy and enjoy life, He really wants you to be free from this vow making.
So if you want to make a vow think first, am I anxious now, if I have time to think this vow over for a few minutes will I still make the same vow with my hole heart and soul. After you make a vow do you want to start and pray that God will set you free from this vow? (If you really wanted to make it why would it upset you and why would you want to be set free from it?) That actually means that it is not really you that want to make this vow.
We are very hard with ourselves, and we think if something like that comes up in our minds, it must be us, and if we don’s scream out NO or something like that, we think that we agree with it, and that is not true.
I really hope that this will help, I know exactly the fear that you are going through, and I pray that God will help you through this and also to find your new car, which I believe He wants to to have.

Be Blessed !!

 

[dabro]

I'm so sorry for your disorder. It's not fair. It's making me angry because you deserve better. I will keep you in my prayers. stay strong.

 

[Jetzet]

Thank you for your prayers Dabro!

 

[flowerforever7]

Thank you for trying to encourage me. I cancelled the appointment. Please pray for me to be able to get a car soon. I am so terrified I will make the wrong choice (break a vow, etc), and when I go to see cars my anxiety kicks in and OCD spikes like crazy. The people who I am staying with gave me a time limit to stay with them. I need to find a car pretty soon, and it is difficult. Thank you so much for your prayers for me, if I can just get a small enough break and mental, spiritual and emotional clarity to be able to get a car, I would appreciate it. @ Jetzet: thank you for sharing your experience with me. It is always good to be able to get someone elses story on something similar; your post was helpful.
God bless you all.