Hey, my girlfriend and I have been dating now for almost 2 years. In the last half of year we have ran into a few problems in the whole "purity" side of the christian life. I feel like I am in a precarious situation because we are not even close to having "sex" but we have had some pretty heavy make-out sessions. We been working diligently to cease these horrendous habits, but can't seem to completely crack them. Anyone's prayers and advice would be much obliged!!!
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Prayer Request
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MN John
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you have my prayers.
As for advice ... you need to talk it through and agree on your boundaries and what you will do when tempted to cross them. Involve an older married Christian couple to jhold you accountable if you need to.
It's a very difficult area to master. If you want to PM me with specific questions, go ahead. I am in a similar situation to you. We have been mostly successful in remaining pure. I think we're older than you and our maturity may help give us an edge on the one hand, but our previous experiences also may give us additional temptation.
Be glad to talk here or in PM as you are comfortable.
John
As for advice ... you need to talk it through and agree on your boundaries and what you will do when tempted to cross them. Involve an older married Christian couple to jhold you accountable if you need to.
It's a very difficult area to master. If you want to PM me with specific questions, go ahead. I am in a similar situation to you. We have been mostly successful in remaining pure. I think we're older than you and our maturity may help give us an edge on the one hand, but our previous experiences also may give us additional temptation.
Be glad to talk here or in PM as you are comfortable.
John
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1. Set boundaries, write them up in a document, and print off a bunch of copies and give them to friends, parents, church leaders, or whoever you hang out with a lot. Accountability is key.
2. Limit your alone time together. i.e., in your boundaries, (aside from no kissing, if you agree to that boundary), you should include a self-imposed curfew, like not being alone together after 11.
3. Make this issue a part of your daily prayer. Ask others to pray for you too. Again, this stresses the importance of letting others know that you have a problem that you want to fix. I've had to deal with certain purity issues in my past too, and the only way I was able to overcome them was to make the issue known to someone so they could keep me accountable.
2. Limit your alone time together. i.e., in your boundaries, (aside from no kissing, if you agree to that boundary), you should include a self-imposed curfew, like not being alone together after 11.
3. Make this issue a part of your daily prayer. Ask others to pray for you too. Again, this stresses the importance of letting others know that you have a problem that you want to fix. I've had to deal with certain purity issues in my past too, and the only way I was able to overcome them was to make the issue known to someone so they could keep me accountable.
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Where is the relationship at after two years? If you are really in love its perfectly healthy to desire physical intimacy, and going together for that long will certainly put you both under pressure.
The practical suggestions people have made will need to be implimented too.
John
NZ
The practical suggestions people have made will need to be implimented too.
John
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Hediru
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I will definetly pray for you. And as for advice, I strongly agree with setting boundaries and sticking to them. Make more boundaries if you think you need it, but don't cross any boundaries that you previously set, or at least do not do so hastily, but with much prayer. After all, those boundaries were set and agreed upon for a reason. Good luck!
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