It's been over one month now since my wife left me and our kids. I've been led to initiate a prayer campaign that has been going on for 2 weeks now. I need some who are willing to step into the gap to pray with me and for me and my wife over the next week. Men ought always pray. We should pray without ceasing. I need help doing that. I'm tired, frustrated, angry, bitter, lost and confused, yet I'm in love with my wife, and I want the best for her, I want mercy for her because she's moving forward with blinders on. If you want background, please read my initial post and traffic at Wife surprised me with Separation. I'm asking for a 7 day commitment of 7 seven minute prayers per day. If you can't do all 7 days or 7 prayers each day, please commit to whatever you can do. I've assembled family and friends already, but as this is the final week of this prayer assault, I'm seeking as much prayer as possible so that essential strongholds can be pulled down and imaginations that are anti-Christ's purpose of marriage and ministry would be brought into subjection of the lordship of Christ. Pray for my wife's joy, for her clarity in seeing God's truth, for her ability to discern wisdom from foolishness and godly and well intentioned counsel from destructive and divisive opinions. Pray that she has the humility to receive and accept God's will once revealed. Pray for the protection of our children while we go through this time of uncertainty in their lives. Pray that a kind, gentle, considerate and open spirit fall upon my wife. Pray that I heal, that I accept the things that I cannot change and that I grow closer to Christ and in His likeness as I am broken and can be put back together by His hands. Pray for my strength and diligence in prayer and steadfastness in spiritual conflict with the enemy. Thank you for your prayers, please reply with your name (or whatever you want me to call you in prayer) so that I can cover you as you cover me. Blessings of the one born King be with you and yours though out this holiday season.
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Prayer for marital reconciliation
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singpraise
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I'll pray for this. I'll pray this for you to be, as well.
If you want to win your wife back you must love her carefully and treat her as the precious person she is. She is a separate person from you who seems to be lost and trying to find her way.
If you want her to come back to your family please, please, please, treat her with the utmost understanding, respect, love, patience, and kindness. Be like Jesus to her in her life right now.
A wife needs her husband. She needs him to have compassion and understanding for her. Women are emotional and sensitive. You can't be harsh with a woman, ever, and expect her to continue respecting you. You must be gentle and kind when speaking and dealing with her. Help her find her way back to your family.
If you've made mistakes that drove your wife away be a strong man and admit to that. Sincerely apologize and repent if necessary. Listen to her and her valid reasons for wanting to separate. In the end, if she comes back your marriage will be even stronger. If she does not come back, at least you'll know you did everything in your power to be the best husband and father God wants you to be. If that happens I pray for your healing. I hope and pray the best for you and especially for your children.
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Singpraise,
I do appreciate your reply. Thank you for your advice. I know you don't know me or our situation, but I'm on hear because I've done all that you've advised and have been all that you've suggested throughout our 22 years of marriage, and yet I find myself alone with our kids. I admit not knowing have understanding in this because I don't understand. I do treat her with understanding, but I don't pretend to understand what she's doing, that won't help any of us. I am kind, gentle, love and cherish her as much as she will allow, and as much as I can without crushing myself by inviting her denials and rejection of my kindness and generosity. I ask for understanding and her reasons for leaving me are not logical and are not a result of mistreatment. I am actually the emotional one in our marriage, and she's the closed one who refuses to go to the emotional level, unless it's in anger. I pray for emotions for her.
I admit being so busy that I may have missed her sadness in our relationship, and I've assessed myself and have repented and apologized for everything that God showed me was contributory in me. How do I reach inside of a woman who doesn't want to share her heart and spirit with me? Please if you know of something tell me. How do I get her to talk with me about what's really going on inside her; I mean, what she really needs from me (I've already tried and she's told me that she's not reconciling and that she wants a divorce). It's her that is the harsh one in our relationship and I don't want to become course or harsh as well, otherwise there will be no one there to restore our relationship. So I am silent, I keep my feelings to myself, I love her however she'll allow me to, I ensure that I'm more attentive now to her than I was before, I'm available to my kids and don't pressure her where they're concerned...when I do open my heart to share my feelings and concerns for us, it brings anger and resentment from her and a stern reminder that there will be no reconciliation and for me to stop trying and that she wants a divorce.
I honestly need someone who is much smarter than me about how people work, to give me an idea that may allow me a moment inside her heart to tell her that I love her in a way that can be received internally, spiritually, intimately, and not just audibly. I do appreciate your kind and considerate reply. You were very kind to me with your words, especially not knowing anything; you didn't go where most people go when a woman leaves her home...thank you. She wouldn't have left me with our kids if I was a bad guy. I just don't know why (other than negative and dark influences of people or spirits), I just don't know.
I do appreciate your reply. Thank you for your advice. I know you don't know me or our situation, but I'm on hear because I've done all that you've advised and have been all that you've suggested throughout our 22 years of marriage, and yet I find myself alone with our kids. I admit not knowing have understanding in this because I don't understand. I do treat her with understanding, but I don't pretend to understand what she's doing, that won't help any of us. I am kind, gentle, love and cherish her as much as she will allow, and as much as I can without crushing myself by inviting her denials and rejection of my kindness and generosity. I ask for understanding and her reasons for leaving me are not logical and are not a result of mistreatment. I am actually the emotional one in our marriage, and she's the closed one who refuses to go to the emotional level, unless it's in anger. I pray for emotions for her.
I admit being so busy that I may have missed her sadness in our relationship, and I've assessed myself and have repented and apologized for everything that God showed me was contributory in me. How do I reach inside of a woman who doesn't want to share her heart and spirit with me? Please if you know of something tell me. How do I get her to talk with me about what's really going on inside her; I mean, what she really needs from me (I've already tried and she's told me that she's not reconciling and that she wants a divorce). It's her that is the harsh one in our relationship and I don't want to become course or harsh as well, otherwise there will be no one there to restore our relationship. So I am silent, I keep my feelings to myself, I love her however she'll allow me to, I ensure that I'm more attentive now to her than I was before, I'm available to my kids and don't pressure her where they're concerned...when I do open my heart to share my feelings and concerns for us, it brings anger and resentment from her and a stern reminder that there will be no reconciliation and for me to stop trying and that she wants a divorce.
I honestly need someone who is much smarter than me about how people work, to give me an idea that may allow me a moment inside her heart to tell her that I love her in a way that can be received internally, spiritually, intimately, and not just audibly. I do appreciate your kind and considerate reply. You were very kind to me with your words, especially not knowing anything; you didn't go where most people go when a woman leaves her home...thank you. She wouldn't have left me with our kids if I was a bad guy. I just don't know why (other than negative and dark influences of people or spirits), I just don't know.
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NeedyFollower
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Hi Dear Brother ..first I am so sorry and grieved and will weep with you. I also lost my wife and two children about 4 years ago. She does not know any better so I pray. My prayer is that for the gospel's sake , that word of God be not blasphemed , she will return so that you both may seek God together. I have seen that many times , we christians have been seduced into following the American dream ( Husbands and wives together ) Both work and give their children to the world to raise so we can make $ and have stuff. My hope is that something eternally good will result from this. I do not say this lightly since I too am going through this.
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NeedyFollower
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You know brother, I was just thinking about what Jesus told the Pharisees ...If you loved my Father , you would love me. I think that is the root of most marriage problems ...we ( or our spouse ) do not love the Father ....I went through this ( actually as much for my dear children who I do not see ) and one night I think the Lord showed me that I wanted my children to love ME ....not wrong in itself but it was wrongly directed ...my children must love the Lord ! What good is it for them to love me and not God ? so with that thought , I will pray that your wife will know and love God, then she will love you .
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Thank you. God actually rebuked me last week for how I was praying for my wife. I wanted justice and in my pain I asked for it...not for her, but for her friend who I believe to be a source of our problems...God told me I should love who she loves...I should pray for mercy for my wife and her friend. He asked me if I wanted justice or mercy. I have since been praying differently. Based on your post, I'll commit to praying for my wife's love for God to be restored. I have not done that. I've only wanted her to love me again. Thank you and please do pray for my wife's knowledge of and love for God to be restored, and I will do likewise.
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singpraise
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My heart goes out to you. Nobody is a perfect person or perfect spouse. We're all flawed and do the best we can do. All you can hope for right now is that your wife doesn't feel your current gestures are too little, too late. I hope and pray, for your sake, that she does not have another person already in her life that would usurp the role of her husband in her heart. If that's already happened then probably all you can do is let her go in peace.
If she's still in communication with you, that's a good sign. I can only speak from a woman's point of view here, of course, being a woman and a wife. I know that what I need most from my husband, especially when I'm in the wrong or being overly emotional or sensitive (we do this sometimes, as women, I will admit) is understanding, patience and strength. My husband is a very kind and understanding man, he's also very patient with me. He's only a little older but in some ways much more wise. He also says I am stronger in certain ways than he is. We acknowledge the good in each other and overlook the flaws, or help each other out of a mess if the other goes off the path for a little while (in an argument, for instance).
I understand you feel your wife is being harsh now. However, you married her when she was essentially still a child. She has now become an adult and has grown into an entirely different woman than the girl you married. You can't expect her not to have matured and gained her own sense of self. She also may feel some resentment towards you. Or, maybe she is going through a healing process, psychologically and emotionally, from something in her childhood that may not even have anything to do with you.
Or, perhaps you were too authoritative and parental with her, and while she may have needed that at age 18 she probably no longer feels she does. Only you can answer that, of course. She may feel like she wants to learn how to stand on her own two feet.
Try to see this situation through her eyes. Try to see her in a more positive light. If she has truly left you forever there really is nothing more that you can do, besides prayer for her as your children's mother. Pray for her well-being because that is what's best for your children.
Also, if she reaches out to you Just. Listen. Listen to her. What are her needs? What were here reasons for leaving? You need to fulfill her needs (if she'll let you still) and you need to correct whatever it is she left you over. She may have really tried, desperately, to be the best Christian wife to you she knew how to be and she may feel she failed in that and eventually gave up. Only you know, deep down, the true answers to these questions.
However, it is very commendable of you to want to save your marriage. Don't give up on her, either as a wife, mother or friend. Be a true friend to her - be whatever she needs you to be. I will keep you in my prayers.
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