Prayer and help needed - urgent!

[AfanofJesus]

So ...

Yesterday night when I was just about to log out from a forum I hang at from time to time there was a girl posting a thread with the topic "Sucidal thoughts". In the post she explained that she just has cut herself deeper than before and is really scared and wanted to talk with someone. I didn't really know how to act but I somehow went on on autopilot trying to comfort and just show love to her, after a few posts in the forum I got in touch with her through private messages and stayed there for half of the night. I tried to encourage her to seek help and that's when I found out that she's already in contact with every single authority you could think of, hospitals, psychologists at youth centers, at the police, a the social service, mental care institutions - you name it. Although she said that none of them actually cared about her and understood that she was unable to take controle of her life - they just see her as a burden, she said. We are living in different towns but I'm trying to find a good contact for her, through my local church, in her town. She seemed to be happy at least that I was kind to her and so on but she is really in a miserable state.

I don't really know how to handle a situation like this, and I don't think I should. The best thing is to have her contact experts again. Although she has all contacts you could think of but she doesn't get the help needed. She lives at her mother's place with her mother and her mother's partner. What worries me with that is that she was at home when she was cutting herself but when I ask about her mother she doesn't even reply to it - I don't know what to think about that mother. Anyway what we got is a person in a terrible state that doesn't trust local authorities and whom seem to have a bad relationship with her mother.

Any ideas or advice?

I just felt like getting this out, can't carry it myself alone. This is all quite messed up and I'm not sure about anything in this situation...

Please pray for her! She needs someone local to take care of her that can love her, understand her and help her back on track. Pray for strength, love and hope. If you want to pray for God to help me to do what's best for her, please.

Thanks a lot for reading and everything!

 

[Redheadedstepchild]

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[NateDaGrimes]

go drive there and get her, more comfort an when the time is to tell her bout jesus. also churches are hard to find [good ones that is] so try to take her to the best one you know.

 

[AfanofJesus]

go drive there and get her, more comfort an when the time is to tell her bout jesus. also churches are hard to find [good ones that is] so try to take her to the best one you know.

Unfortunately I don't have a driving license and we are talking about 370 miles one way. If it was a closer distance I could totally meet her and help out, but yeah it's not possible. Although the pastor at my church will contact some churches in that area and see if he can find someone who really would be able to help her out. Thank you anyways

 

[Mark Williams]

I wish I could be of some help, but I will pray about this for sure.

 

[HarborOrange]

Well, I kind of have a little experience in this realm... I lost one of my friends to suicide about 5 years ago, and my girlfriend has been through some horrendous (not kidding here, it's been about as bad as it can get for the poor girl) stuff and she can get extremely depressed from time to time... What I've found is they just generally need someone to talk to. Every time my girlfriend is hurting like that, I just make sure to stay up with her as late as she needs, and we talk it out. I encourage her, and she just rants or vents, or whatever she needs to do. Then when we both go to bed, I make sure to tell her that she can call me if she needs me. We have a system set up where she'll call me any moment she feels one of those urges- which have grown far less common over the years. Granted, I'm her boyfriend and best friend, so that makes the scenario a little different than your slightly more anonymous scenario. However, I think the same principle could apply. Make sure she gets help, and gets herself surrounded in good individuals. If she lives in the city, I'd recommend trying to get her to somehow figure out a way to move out to the country; at least for a little period of time. I grow stupendously depressed when I'm in a crowded city. However, outside of the bustle in a metro area, everything is clean and calm and quiet, so that might help her. Also, above all, make sure you are there for her. You might not know her well, and you might not feel equipped to handle this situation. However, at this point in time, it appears you may be all she has to keep her afloat. Don't let it stress you out, and make sure to be patient with her. Just listen to her, and make sure she knows you are there whenever she needs someone. It seems that people only give up hope when they feel totally worthless and alone.

That's my small bit of advice at least. I'll pray.

 

[AfanofJesus]

I wish I could be of some help, but I will pray about this for sure.

Thanks, I don't really know what you could do, I just needed to get it all out and maybe some advice. Thanks a lot for praying.

Well, I kind of have a little experience in this realm... I lost one of my friends to suicide about 5 years ago, and my girlfriend has been through some horrendous (not kidding here, it's been about as bad as it can get for the poor girl) stuff and she can get extremely depressed from time to time... What I've found is they just generally need someone to talk to. Every time my girlfriend is hurting like that, I just make sure to stay up with her as late as she needs, and we talk it out. I encourage her, and she just rants or vents, or whatever she needs to do. Then when we both go to bed, I make sure to tell her that she can call me if she needs me. We have a system set up where she'll call me any moment she feels one of those urges- which have grown far less common over the years. Granted, I'm her boyfriend and best friend, so that makes the scenario a little different than your slightly more anonymous scenario. However, I think the same principle could apply. Make sure she gets help, and gets herself surrounded in good individuals. If she lives in the city, I'd recommend trying to get her to somehow figure out a way to move out to the country; at least for a little period of time. I grow stupendously depressed when I'm in a crowded city. However, outside of the bustle in a metro area, everything is clean and calm and quiet, so that might help her. Also, above all, make sure you are there for her. You might not know her well, and you might not feel equipped to handle this situation. However, at this point in time, it appears you may be all she has to keep her afloat. Don't let it stress you out, and make sure to be patient with her. Just listen to her, and make sure she knows you are there whenever she needs someone. It seems that people only give up hope when they feel totally worthless and alone.

That's my small bit of advice at least. I'll pray.

Thanks a lot mate, it's really good to hear someone else's story and I think you are right. She seems happy just to have someone to talk to, and that's what she have told me too. I told her I'll be there for her anytime and it has worked out well so far. The hard part is to makes sure she gets help and get surrounded by good individuals - she is 370 miles away from me. As I wrote in an earlier post a pastor at my church will contact some churches in the area and see if there are any church with someone who's really good with youths with this type of problems. I have told her that and she's willing to try if we find something but up till then it's no much I can do. She is already in contact with different authorities in her area but she feels like they don't understand her and that they don't really want to help her. She is just another "name" on a paper to them.

Further she doesn't only want to talk about her tough situation, she just wants to chat in a normal way sometimes, but that's quite hard too. I mean she asks me "How are you, how's you day?", "What do you do in your freetime?". What am I supposed to answer? "Well you know I'm really happy and love my life, I've spended my whole day around amazing friends and everything is just perfect. In my freetime I'm doing all sorts of fancy stuff cause my life is so awesome." I mean in her situation it seems to me that she doesn't want to hear how good everyone else is doing, but at the same time she asks med honestly out of interest, should I lie, should I tell her the truth? What should I ask her, "besides that you try to kill yourself and are depressed, how was you day?". I don't really know how she wants it but we can't just keep going on talking about what's bad.

Maybe I make it sound like mission impossible now and that's everything have failed. Actually she has seemed quite happy and I think I helped her a bit, and we've been able to have some normal conversations. Although it's getting tougher and what I wrote above is what I'm thinking in my head while talking to her...

Thanks a lot for your advice and support mate.

God bless!