Practice dates?

[dayhiker]

What a blessing to have had a freindship like that. That jealous thing can be quite negative I think. The relationship with both your freind and his new woman could have been more if she wasn't so jealous. But she just can't go there. You then did the right thing in respecting her that way.

dayhiker

See, I have experienced that as well. After my husband died, his best friend became my best friend for awhile. Before my husband died, he told me that he thought this friend would try to move in on his spot and not to let him. So before my husband died when we were all three in the room I said "Hey, Mike thinks your going to try to move in on his spot" just to put it out in the open so it never happened, cuz I knew once he died I would be vulnerable and I didn't want to be a widow statistic that ended up with my husbands friend. Plus I was never attracted to him in that way, just as a great friend, and he and I experienced my husbands death together, and that was something not many people understand. But then this woman becomes attracted to him, and she's there like ALL the time. And all my family is telling me that now that she's in the picture him and I can no longer be friends, to which I said BullSh*T. But then it became apparant that she was VERY jealous of me, even though I told her I had NO interest in my friend. I go out of my way to be HER friend too, but I eventually had to back peddle on the friendship thing, because of her. We are all still friends, but I lost my close friend, but all in all, it's OK I DO have other friends. But I never for once believed that just because I am the opposite sex, I can't be just friends with someone. But alot of people see this as a no no or a no go so.....what's a girl to do. Anyway, thanks for the reply and if I ever DO date....I'll let cha know how it goes lol.

 

[dayhiker]

EBL - Thanks for sharing about the learnings you have had in dating. I agree with you on the communication thing. I think some guys don't reply back cause they don't want to feel like they have to answer for their life to someoene they just had a date with. I remember chatting with a lady online who had just had a date and hadn't heard from him. She was in a panic that she haddn't heard from him and so was emailing him felt and right. Which communicated to him that she would suficate him.

So each person seems to read situations so differently. Amazing!
dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

What a blessing to have had a freindship like that. That jealous thing can be quite negative I think. The relationship with both your freind and his new woman could have been more if she wasn't so jealous. But she just can't go there. You then did the right thing in respecting her that way.

dayhiker

Thank you for that. I think I did the right thing too. I am still friends with both of them, but you're right...it could have been so much more, but....it wasn't meant to be

 

[dayhiker]

The more I observe life, the more I see people that just can't do certian things. Then I observe other people put them down because they can't do something. But this is where we are to accept one another and accept their limitations. Yes, we would all like others to be able to do what we want them to do, but I don't think its love to push them where they can't go. Yes, if they want to do something, we support them and help them. Yet so many just can't do certian things.

Well, that doesn't have any illustrations other than your friends GF couldn't accept you as a close freind with him. So I hope you can see that I'm just extending it to many situations around us.


dayhiker

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

The more I observe life, the more I see people that just can't do certian things. Then I observe other people put them down because they can't do something. But this is where we are to accept one another and accept their limitations. Yes, we would all like others to be able to do what we want them to do, but I don't think its love to push them where they can't go. Yes, if they want to do something, we support them and help them. Yet so many just can't do certian things.

Well, that doesn't have any illustrations other than your friends GF couldn't accept you as a close freind with him. So I hope you can see that I'm just extending it to many situations around us.


dayhiker

Yes, I see what you mean . But if everyone was just like us, think how boring it would be

 

[dayhiker]

lol ... I love all the diversity that God has created. That doesn't mean that I can personally be diverse. Sometimes there are things I just can't do. But I'm freer than I used to be so I can do more things now that in the past.

 

[777Grace777]

There's no rule book. I think it depends on the guy. Its a bit like dancing, every guy has a different expectations, you should take his lead. Some guys are better at taking the lead than others, if you get a nervous guy do you best to make him feel comfortable and let him take his time. Other times a guy will be more persistent and more straight up with you. As for if you want to kiss or not that's up to you. How much do you like this guy? I dated my now husband for months without kissing him!! I decided to keep some of the mystery and tease him a bit! And when i decide to he was blown away! So don't panic about rules. Just enjoy yourself, have fun on a date, and don't put to much pressure on yourself. Let him do the work!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yeah, but it's kinda hard to do when there is no "HIM" lol.

 

[dayhiker]

Well, grace you do sound like a fun gal, but if my woman made things too much work, I'd have kept walking.

 

[777Grace777]

Reply to DayHiker:

Its about getting a balance between "hard to get" and "easy". When I say that I dated my now husband for months without kissing him, its not like I was being cold to him. There was lot of flirting and "nearly" kisses!

But what I'm trying to say is that each guy is different. And as a woman you should uses your woman's intuition to determine how is best to behave on a date. Follow his lead. And when i say "let him do the work" I mean its his role to take the initiative with you.

Reply to MemoriesByMichelle:

Im sure you'll find "him" soon!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:10-12 (NIV)

 

[dayhiker]

Grace ... I'm sure he was loving the flirtation. nothing is as good as some good flirting.