I find the whole premise of this list faulty. My goal is to glorify God, not any other human being, including my husband.
There are good things on this list, but also some very strange ideas...
How did housework become all of my responsibility? Does he not also live in this house? What about his role requires extra down-time? I leave the house at 6AM and am home around 7PM. He leaves at 2PM and is home at 12AM... so he is gone 10 hours a day and I am gone 13, but it is my job to do all the housework?
Yeah, I'll get right on that. Perhaps I should nap on my drive home.
When did I become a second class citizen in my marriage? Why does one of our jobs have to be considered as more important than the other's? Can't they both be important?
11. How do you spend your own day? Consider the things that you are involved in that might take your time away from your home, your husband and your responsibilities to glorify him. Do the things you do indeed bring glory to your him? Ask his opinion and guidance in this area.
Again, back to the glorifying human beings, which I do not think is Biblical...
1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" Then ask how you can help him to accomplish these goals.
2. Ask if there are things that you could be doing differently that would make his week go easier.
5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.
7. Say good things about your husband in the presence of others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
8. Think about your husband's work, his goals. Make a list of some things that you can do to make him look good and to help him accomplish those goals. Perhaps you could run errands for him, pray for him and make good, wise suggestions. Give him the freedom, however, not to use your suggestions and do not allow yourself to become resentful or offended if he does not follow them.
10. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals, then act upon those thoughts. Some things you might do are: get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work after having a good breakfast, anticipate special needs that he might have based on his own individual goals, keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.
12. Be kind to his family and friends, even if you don't like them. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to them.
13. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.
14. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.
15. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry for the Lord.
Completely agree with what was said here. Again, I can see sexism, putting the woman down, to the expense of trying to make someone else feel better, in this case the husband.
There also seems to be an assumption, that a divine, individual and specific calling for the wife/woman is never placed on them by God. Nothing is said about it being important to find out God's will for her life. It might not be to become the stereotype of a 1950s woman. What about the husband also sacrificing himself and giving himself up to help her reach her God given calling, and full potential, and it seems to assume the woman is always the one taking a back seat, to be a back up, support, substitute, and understudy rather than a key player herself. What ever happened to loving their wives as Christ loved the church and
gave himself up for her. As usual, everything here is just merely centered on the woman's responsibility, and not the man's. Devotion, commitment, and submission and respect are important, but in no way is it a one way street. And yes, I would find it equally just as wrong, if all the responsibility was laid on the man, the male was belittled, stereotyped, put in a box, or was told all his needs were just to be about serving for his wife, his calling/ministry wasn't important.
This lists, seems already to be based on a set of preconceived ideas, without examing what the biblical texts actually mean. The wife is at home full time, the husband has the job. It's not universally applicable to everyone, nor are these rigid ideas a biblical command. They are extremely cultural specific. In some Eastern countries, living in extreme poverty, neither person is working. In some societies, man isn't the major breadwinner. It sounds like a western marriage typically common in the 1950s. It isn't timelessly apposite. It assumes all men and women and situations are identical, when in fact, they're not. None of them are references to the bible, apart from a vague reference to the word 'obey' found in Peter 1. Most of this seems to be someone's or a churches personal standards.
As usual, I can just see the usual sexism and archaic ideas that have filtered their way into the church down the centures, and my belief, it isn't biblical.
I find point number 16, the most disturbing. Putting any other human being before God, and we should expect disastorous results. Also, it just sounds oppressive, and like MaraPetra said, marital slavery. Having a boss and a slave, complying with rules doesn't sound like a loving relationship to me. Again, it is a gateway for abuse, resentment and ultimately disaster, if this was carried out to its logical conclusions.
The greek word for 'obey' used by Peter in his letter means 'to listen carefully or atterntively.' He was not instructing irresponsibility from woman, and blindly taking orders like some kind of boss. Man is not some kind of new 'god' for woman. As man's 'helper' women have a responsibility to guide and instruct their husband's if they are behaving in a way that is not right, just like husband's do.
The Greek word Peter uses for 'lord' is kurios which also means 'sir' or 'master'. In New Testament times this was a common form of address, the equivalent of today's 'Dear Sir' at the top of a letter, It was a term of simple courtesy. In other words, politeness, respect, and embracing your other partner's point of view, and laying aside self centeredness and pride are important, but when it's taken in relation to the whole bible's teaching on marriage, and not just singling out one verse in isolation, I can see that this is a mutual act.
Also, thought I'd mention. Nowhere in the Bible, by Paul or anyone else is the husband referred to as
'the head of the family' or
'the head of the household' which seems to have become a popular saying in the last few decades. Through studying it, I've found the husband being described as 'head of the wife' is not the same thing as 'head of the household.' This was an American idea from the 1960s, promoted by Larry Christenson in books like
The Christian Family, which were a conservative backlash to the new phenomenon of women going out of the house to work. Nowhere does the Bible assume the man is the main breadwinner. Nowehere in Genesis or anywhere else has God subscribed rigid roles to gender, instead they have been added and imposed by various individuals and groups in society. Check out the proverbial woman of chapters 31 for example. This phrase was more of a political than a theological statement.
