Practical Ways to Glorify Your Husband

[ooOHannahOoo]

I see nothing wrong with the list.

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j/k

 

[fulltime]

Is there a similar list on ways a man can glorify his wife, or is it the same old dull theme where it's all put on the shoulders of the woman to keep the marriage ticking and the spark there.

I think the list goes too far, way too far, we're women, flesh and blood not stepford wives.

I took my wife to Hawahii for Mothers day last year for 8 days last year, and left my kids at home.It was the honeymoon that I never had. We had a great time. Even after all of that I still need more attention than she can give though.

 

[whatseekye]

I thought that some of the things said in this list were extremely sad, such as the insensitive comment about not taking a nap if you are doing it out of laziness or depression. What did they mean by that? If you are lazy or depressed, you don't deserve a nap? No sleep for the wicked lazy depressed people?

I really think that stuff like this just makes Christians look crazy and weird. We take a verse and turn it in to legalism.

Where in the word of God does it tell women to glorify their husbands? The very use of the word glorify in that sentence makes me cringe. We should only glorify God!!!!

 

[whatseekye]

This morning, just to see what would happen, I asked my husband, "What are your goals for the week?"

He got very still and his eyes got wide, and he said cautiously, "I don't know."

I think he thought it was a trick question. Not that I ever ask trick questions, but this one was so unusual for how we normally talk to each other, that he thought something was up.

I guess it just sounds so formal. If you're close to your spouse and the two of you talk all the time, you already know what's going on with them and you don't need to ask formal questions.

Besides, my husband doesn't really make weekly goals. He goes to work and does the work that he has to do each day. I'm not even sure what an example of a weekly goal would be.

Hey good idea. I'm going to test my husband with that one tomorrow morning. I know he'll look at me strange too. But he might surprise me and suddenly share the secret life of walter mitty with me.

 

[talitha]

I think the list is fine.

As a Christian woman, I need to concern myself with loving and respecting and honoring my husband - and let him be concerned with his part.

This type of list is given to one person who is interested in becoming a better spouse - one person who is not able, not required, and not instructed to be in control of the other half's compliance with anything. We can only control what we do or neglect to do.

The other part of this is - MEN GENERALLY DO NOT READ BOOKS. And when they do read them, they are not usually the one who bought them..... LOL - That's why these things are most often directed to women. Publishers like it when their books sell.

blessings
tal

 

[Endless]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Let's Revamp them for the real world[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]I like this one ... [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" Then ask how you can help him to accomplish these goals.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial][FONT=Verdana, Arial]I like this one too ...[/FONT]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]2. Ask if there are things that you could be doing differently that would make his week go easier.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]3. Be organized--keep your work at work. Don't leave housework til the weekend or you won't have time for family. If you can do it ... DO ... if you need help ... ASK.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]I also like this one. If one has time for a nap ... by ALL means take one. However ... with both spouses working a nap is usually neglectful. So eliminate the nap ... save time to talk to your spouse.
4. Make sure, even at the end of a busy day, that you have saved up some energy for him. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial][/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]This one is plain wrong. God comes first, then spouse, then children ... but not at the price of neglect. If you have but 1 hour in the day ... and it's either spend the time with your growing children or fulfill your "wifely obligation". Please choose the children first!!
5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.

I like this one ... we should always be selfless and not just for our husbands. So this is sound biblical advice[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]6. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]This also is sound biblical advice ... I believe Jesus said to not bear false witness or to slander your neighbor ... surely these rules apply to your husband!
7. Say good things about your husband in the presence of others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.
[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Now ... this one bothers me a bit. A wife DOES have the power to enhance or destroy the way people see her husband. As the other half of the whole it is our responsibility to ensure that we do not undermine his professional goals. Looking at it in that light makes it sound a little less ... strange.
8. Think about your husband's work, his goals. Make a list of some things that you can do to make him look good and to help him accomplish those goals. Perhaps you could run errands for him, pray for him and make good, wise suggestions. Give him the freedom, however, not to use your suggestions and do not allow yourself to become resentful or offended if he does not follow them.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]Just another example of selflessness. All things should be put before yourself ... it says that in that big book somewhere.
9. Consider his work as more important than your own.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]I'm a little confused about this one ... but I guess this is about partnering and doing all things together.
10. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals, then act upon those thoughts. Some things you might do are: get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work after having a good breakfast, anticipate special needs that he might have based on his own individual goals, keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]All this is saying is recognize your priorities. And make your husband and your family FIRST above all worldly things.
11. How do you spend your own day? Consider the things that you are involved in that might take your time away from your home, your husband and your responsibilities to glorify him. Do the things you do indeed bring glory to your him? Ask his opinion and guidance in this area.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]I don't disagree here
12. Be kind to his family and friends, even if you don't like them. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to them.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]here either
13. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]This one is unbiblical. Worldly beauty is loathsome ... God prefers that we show our beauty from the inside.
14. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial]1Pe 3:4 But [let it be] the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
15. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry for the Lord.

16. Always remember that, just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey him.[/FONT]

1Cr 11:8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man.

1Cr 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

1Cr 11:10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on [her] head because of the angels.
1Cr 11:11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

1Cr 11:12 For as the woman [is] of the man, even so [is] the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

This was a very long post and I may pop in occassionally to update or reword a bit ... I don't think I was able to get my point across as well as I wanted because of the scope of the list.

~M

 

[flower child]

I don't thinm the list goes too far.
As his spouse we should put our husbands first, and they should bring glory to us as well.
Most of the things on this list are simple ways to encourage your spouse.
I think that it is vital that we be our husbands greatest encouragers.

we should be putting god forst before our husbands!
only then can the relationship work the way god planned.
i believe that respecting our husbands encouragement and prayer about everything that happens in his life and our lives is vitally important!

But that list goes way too far, women have important jobs aswell, adn there is nothing wrong with that as long as they dont see themselves as higher up or more important that their husband,

the balance has got to be jsut right

 

[firestar]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial] So, I'm doing a Bible study on becoming an excellent wife. One of the books I'm reading is called (dum dum dum) "The Excellent Wife." It's written by Martha Peace and one of the lists in it caught my attention. It's called "Ways to Glorify Your Husband" and I thought it would bring up some good topics of discussion.

Here's the list:

[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]Do you think this list "goes too far" or does it have some good suggestions?
[/FONT]

I haven't read the rest of the answers, and I know I might be in the minority on this one, but I don't think the list is outrageous at all. In fact, if more spouses (husbands and wives) were to look at marriage as an opportunity to put their own needs on the back burner and prioritize their spouse's needs, there would be fewer divorces, and a lot more happy marriages. I think there are some people who get bent out of shape about stuff like this because they feel that there is no expectation being set for the other partner to do likewise. When I read things geared towards wives, I just realize that there are just as high standards for husbands to read, but I'm not the husband, so I'm reading material geared towards me and my growth.

 

[firestar]

This one is plain wrong. God comes first, then spouse, then children ... but not at the price of neglect. If you have but 1 hour in the day ... and it's either spend the time with your growing children or fulfill your "wifely obligation". Please choose the children first!!
5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.

I'd like to respectfully disagree with your interpretation of this one. Putting your husband before bible studies and church work is not putting your husband before God. I wholeheartedly agree that God comes FIRST, but God is not necessarily found in endless committee meetings, church potlucks, fundraisers and the weekly bible study. As a couple, it is a vital part of a Christian marriage to engage in time spent in God TOGETHER as well as apart. This together time spent in God is perhaps the most intimate and cherished times I share with my husband and even though we're putting God first (seeking His face, will, and desires, as well as getting to know him and worship Him), I feel like we're also putting our marriage at the top of the list too- there's no way our marriage would be as strong as it is unless we did this. Not to be long winded, but I really feel that most people equate Churchianity (the practice of doing churchy type things) with being a good Christian, while nothing could be further from the truth.

I also STRONGLY (and I really can't stress that enough) disagree with the assertion that we should prioritize our children (in a pinch) over our spouses. Children thrive best in an environment where the parents are happy, their marriage stable, and the home at peace. Today's parents, structure their lives around our children and it's wrong. I truly believe that most parents are glorified chauffeurs and faciliatators of after school and extra curricular activities rather than role models (spiritual or otherwise) that they can emulate for a happy and successful life. We've bought into the world's mindset that "kids come first". This has produced a generation of selfish willful children who think the world revolves around them and their needs being met. When in fact, we should be teaching our kids to serve others and to be unselfish. If my child is taken care of and has no dire needs (sick, hurt) then you better believe I'm going to sow time into my marriage relationship, especially if my husband only has a chance to have an hour a day out of my time.

Not trying to offend anyone or start a debate, I'm merely putting in my two cents worth.

 

[Carri20]

I agree with the list, except for #9. I don't believe a man's work is any more important than a woman's work. They have different roles, but one is not greater or lesser than the other.

When it comes to the question of "where the heck is the men's list", I'm pretty sure we can blame the feminist movement for that. In recent history, women have almost completely uprooted God's plan for the family by taking on a masculine attitude and role in society. In return, a lot of men are confused about their purpose and place.

Christian women should serve their husbands whether their husbands treat them right by the Bible or not. Likewise, husbands should serve their wives whether their wives treat them right by the Bible or not. To refuse a spouse love or respect when they show none to you may indeed seem fair, but it is rooted in selfishness. A selfless person would give without asking anything in return.

Still, if it were up to me, these lists for women would always be coupled with lists for men. The one-sidedness can be misleading.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

I wholeheartedly agree that God comes FIRST, but God is not necessarily found in endless committee meetings, church potlucks, fundraisers and the weekly bible study.

Not to be long winded, but I really feel that most people equate Churchianity (the practice of doing churchy type things) with being a good Christian, while nothing could be further from the truth.

I could not agree with you more on the above points! Well said!

Thank you for speaking up about this. I rarely hear anyone expressing such a view.

I also STRONGLY (and I really can't stress that enough) disagree with the assertion that we should prioritize our children (in a pinch) over our spouses.

I agree with you on this well. But perhaps my opinion on this doesn't really count since I likely won't ever have kids (due to infertility).

 

[Carri20]

Where in the word of God does it tell women to glorify their husbands? The very use of the word glorify in that sentence makes me cringe. We should only glorify God!!!!

I don't have time to cite a verse right now, but there is at least one example in the Bible of a godly wife calling her husband "lord". Wives are in fact commanded to honor and glorify their husbands as the Lord, because man was made in the image of God, and the pecking order (for lack of a better term) is:

God > husband > wife.

 

[richkim7]

I think the list was written as suggestions; not rules. I do agree with being each others best encourager. This is one way that I show him respect. I do what I can to be a helper to him as well. I started to ask him about his plans instead of just making plans and found out that he had an opiion about things and I had rarely considered it. We get along very well anyway, but it's even better since I changed my approach. Mutual respect is the only way to go. The Bible says that the man is the head of the household and responsible for his families well being. I had to learn to trust my husband to do what was best for us. Guess what; he does without my continual instructions.

 

[rainbowpromise]

I also STRONGLY (and I really can't stress that enough) disagree with the assertion that we should prioritize our children (in a pinch) over our spouses. Children thrive best in an environment where the parents are happy, their marriage stable, and the home at peace. Today's parents, structure their lives around our children and it's wrong. I truly believe that most parents are glorified chauffeurs and faciliatators of after school and extra curricular activities rather than role models (spiritual or otherwise) that they can emulate for a happy and successful life. We've bought into the world's mindset that "kids come first". This has produced a generation of selfish willful children who think the world revolves around them and their needs being met. When in fact, we should be teaching our kids to serve others and to be unselfish. If my child is taken care of and has no dire needs (sick, hurt) then you better believe I'm going to sow time into my marriage relationship, especially if my husband only has a chance to have an hour a day out of my time.

Not trying to offend anyone or start a debate, I'm merely putting in my two cents worth.

Not wanting to debate either, but I would like to share my family dynamics with you.

My husband and I have 5 children. From the birth of the first and as they grew it was apparent that our children came first for both of us. He is most pleased with me when I am looking after the children and one of the things that makes him most upset with me is when I don't jump to the needs of our children. On the other hand I feel an incredible warmth and pride when I see him huddled with one of our children working through a problem.

Our 5 children are now adults. They have learned to care for and serve others. I think that their attitudes came from the example that we set.

 

[firestar]

Not wanting to debate either, but I would like to share my family dynamics with you.

My husband and I have 5 children. From the birth of the first and as they grew it was apparent that our children came first for both of us. He is most pleased with me when I am looking after the children and one of the things that makes him most upset with me is when I don't jump to the needs of our children. On the other hand I feel an incredible warmth and pride when I see him huddled with one of our children working through a problem.

Our 5 children are now adults. They have learned to care for and serve others. I think that their attitudes came from the example that we set.

I'm happy your dynamics works for you. That doesn't change my opinion in the least, but I'm always happy to hear about others doing well

 

[richkim7]

There is one I take issue with.

I see so many children out there hurting.
Last year I was giving a talk about being obedient to parents. I pointed out the verse that says children are a gift from God and how being a gift they have to act like they are special. One girl put up her hand and said that she wished her mom knew that verse because she is not special to her mom. Most of the other kids had similar things to say. That girl in particular sited her mom wanting to spend more time with her dad than her.

So many kids out there feel worthless. We choose to be parents. That job is showing God's love and care. If we constantly set our kids aside for our spouse's needs, how does that teach children that they are worthwhile.

I am so glad that my husband and I agree on children. We agree that they need to know, without a doubt, that we are there for them. Often it is me, but I make sure they have always known that dad sent me.
I don't put my kids ahead of my husband, but we put our kids at the top of our list. My husband places great value on his children even though he is not a Christian.

Another thing I take excpetion to is saying good things about your husband no matter what. I can't put my head in the sand. Greater love is knowing and accepting his faults and loving him anyway. My husband has faults! I have faults! If we can still love each other in spite of those faults, we are setting a godly example.
A few years ago I felt so awful. One of the women I knew constantly talked about how perfect her husband was and how good it was to be married to him. I started thinking that I had gotten the short end of the deal in my husband. It turns out that her marriage is no different than mine, but I was learning the wrong attitude. It sure took a huge strain off my husband when I accepted him as is. It also will be a wonderful testimony for our children when they get married.

Everything else is reasonable to a point. When I need to work along side my husband on the farm, I can't possibly keep up with housework as well. It is one or the other, but not both.

This is a point that can get you into trouble. My husband and I spend most of our at home time with the kids and meeting their needs. That said, I feel that the best thing we do for our kids is to keep our marriage happy and healthy. We do take time off for "dates". Sometimes we will just go out together without the kids to run errands. It gives us some time to talk without the kids listening. We sometimes have to tell the kids that they are not invited to come along. We explain that we need some time alone. As a kids from a broken home I can tell you that we are giving our kids the gift of security at home. If having a happy home means keeping my husband a priority, I'll do it. It doesn't mean that I ignore my kids. Also, my husband and I will be empty nesters in about 8-10 years; I want a relationship with him that does not revolve around the kids. That way we'll still be lovers and friends.

 

[rainbowpromise]

This is a point that can get you into trouble. My husband and I spend most of our at home time with the kids and meeting their needs. That said, I feel that the best thing we do for our kids is to keep our marriage happy and healthy. We do take time off for "dates". Sometimes we will just go out together without the kids to run errands. It gives us some time to talk without the kids listening. We sometimes have to tell the kids that they are not invited to come along. We explain that we need some time alone. As a kids from a broken home I can tell you that we are giving our kids the gift of security at home. If having a happy home means keeping my husband a priority, I'll do it. It doesn't mean that I ignore my kids. Also, my husband and I will be empty nesters in about 8-10 years; I want a relationship with him that does not revolve around the kids. That way we'll still be lovers and friends.

Our kids are grown. Our oldest is 28 and our youngest is 20. The youngest two are in the process of making plans to leave home. Once we are on our own, I expect that we will build a better and different relationship.
I am a kid from a broken home as well so I know all too well the insecurities. The biggest insecurity I had growing up was not having parents around.

I just showed this to my 26 year old daughter. She said that if dad and I had gone on regular dates her and her sister would have used that time to get in trouble.

We knew that!

 

[firestar]

This is a point that can get you into trouble. My husband and I spend most of our at home time with the kids and meeting their needs. That said, I feel that the best thing we do for our kids is to keep our marriage happy and healthy. We do take time off for "dates". Sometimes we will just go out together without the kids to run errands. It gives us some time to talk without the kids listening. We sometimes have to tell the kids that they are not invited to come along. We explain that we need some time alone. As a kids from a broken home I can tell you that we are giving our kids the gift of security at home. If having a happy home means keeping my husband a priority, I'll do it. It doesn't mean that I ignore my kids. Also, my husband and I will be empty nesters in about 8-10 years; I want a relationship with him that does not revolve around the kids. That way we'll still be lovers and friends.

Reps for you!

 

[richkim7]

Our kids are grown. Our oldest is 28 and our youngest is 20. The youngest two are in the process of making plans to leave home. Once we are on our own, I expect that we will build a better and different relationship.
I am a kid from a broken home as well so I know all too well the insecurities. The biggest insecurity I had growing up was not having parents around.

I just showed this to my 26 year old daughter. She said that if dad and I had gone on regular dates her and her sister would have used that time to get in trouble.

We knew that!

I guess that would depend on the kids. We go out once a week or so. Mine can handle the time alone. I work outside the home on a part-time basis. They are used to being alone at times. Quite a responsible bunch. Messy, but good.

 

[whatseekye]

I tested my husband the other night by asking, "Honey, what are your goals for the week?" He looked up at me, and for a split second he gave me a quizzical look, but then he said, "I want to get my hair cut and on Saturday I'm going to visit my parents." So I just said that if there was anyhthing I could do to help him accomplish those goals, to let me know.

A few minutes later, I explained why I had asked him that. He agreed with me that we should only glorify God. But he said it wasn't bad that I asked him what he wanted to do that week. But it did sound weird to ask him about "goals". It just sounds strange like that, kind of like you are at a business meeting and your supervisor is trying to help you maximize your efficiency. Yuck!

Regarding children, I personally want to establish boundaries in the home where the kids know that the parents are the parents and the kids are the kids. I agree that kids not only need to be loved but need to feel secure in the care of parents who they see as capable and strong. Plus I think it's good if your kids learn how to entertain themselves and behave themselves (at least not get totally out of control) so that they don't need to be constantly monitored or entertained by the parents. But I'll be the first to admit that I'm a new mom, plus I'm basing some of this on my personal history such as my mom being a strong woman who wasn't constantly at my beck and call.

I've also seen some poor examples of child rearing from my friends who tried to be their kids best friends all the time. It led me to believe that kids do best when they are both loved and disciplined. There's an intersting new show on cable called "Suriviving Motherhood" and they just talked about how to handle a child who thinks she can constantly dominate her mothers attention. One mom shared that her solution for being able to have time with her husband in the evening is to have "couch time" where mom and dad talk and the children understand that they do not interrupt. Then mom and dad can discuss the day and catch up on important things (as well as just share some time together?) Another woman said that her daughter is such a chatterbox that when she gets tired of it, she just sends her to her room at times (and her daughter still talks in there by herself). The show is pretty interesting. It's on TLC:
http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/survivingmotherhood/survivingmotherhood.html