Practical Ways to Glorify Your Husband

[seamonster]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial] So, I'm doing a Bible study on becoming an excellent wife. One of the books I'm reading is called (dum dum dum) "The Excellent Wife." It's written by Martha Peace and one of the lists in it caught my attention. It's called "Ways to Glorify Your Husband" and I thought it would bring up some good topics of discussion.

Here's the list:

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[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" Then ask how you can help him to accomplish these goals.

2. Ask if there are things that you could be doing differently that would make his week go easier.

3. Be organized--keep your laundry done and your house clean. Make sure you have your grocery shopping done and cook good meals. As tough as this may seem these things are YOUR responsibility. Don't leave them till the weekend for hubby to have to help. You will find that as you are busy about your business in your home that this will free up your husband to fulfill his role.

4. Make sure, even at the end of a busy day, that you have saved up some energy for him. This may mean that you need to take a short afternoon nap. There is nothing wrong with this. Wise men (and women) throughout the ages have taken a "siesta." Just make sure that your nap is taken due to actual fatigue and not from laziness or depression.

5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.

6. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.

7. Say good things about your husband in the presence of others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.

8. Think about your husband's work, his goals. Make a list of some things that you can do to make him look good and to help him accomplish those goals. Perhaps you could run errands for him, pray for him and make good, wise suggestions. Give him the freedom, however, not to use your suggestions and do not allow yourself to become resentful or offended if he does not follow them.

9. Consider his work as more important than your own.

10. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals, then act upon those thoughts. Some things you might do are: get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work after having a good breakfast, anticipate special needs that he might have based on his own individual goals, keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.

11. How do you spend your own day? Consider the things that you are involved in that might take your time away from your home, your husband and your responsibilities to glorify him. Do the things you do indeed bring glory to your him? Ask his opinion and guidance in this area.

12. Be kind to his family and friends, even if you don't like them. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to them.

13. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

14. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.

15. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry for the Lord.

16. Always remember that, just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey him.

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[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Do you think this list "goes too far" or does it have some good suggestions?
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[Athene]

Is there a similar list on ways a man can glorify his wife, or is it the same old dull theme where it's all put on the shoulders of the woman to keep the marriage ticking and the spark there.

I think the list goes too far, way too far, we're women, flesh and blood not stepford wives.

 

[MaraPetra]

That list is SCARY. Marital slavery in a condensed form.

#4 did provide a chuckle, though:

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]4. Make sure, even at the end of a busy day, that you have saved up some energy for him. This may mean that you need to take a short afternoon nap. There is nothing wrong with this. Wise men (and women) throughout the ages have taken a "siesta." Just make sure that your nap is taken due to actual fatigue and not from laziness or depression.[/FONT]

Yeah...I believe I would be fighting depression from following that list, especially considering that I'm allowing myself to be treated as chattel.

There has to be some sort of sacrifice from each marriage partner, in order for the marriage to work. Jesus didn't look at His Bride and do nothing... He died for His Church.

Like Athene said, we're human beings. Allow me to add that God created woman to be a helpmate, not a frigging doomat/slave/pleasure-fulfiller for the man.

It's a list that wide-open for abuses, especially if the woman is unequally yoked, and the husband doesn't follow God.

I really, REALLY wish people would at least post the corresponding list for men when they put up the "women's expectation lists". By merely posting the lists for women, some men who aren't spiritually mature (or who are looking for justification to argue their wife into slavery) may take that list to mean that they can expect "all that" from their wife, but not have to do anything on their side.

 

[megg]

I don't thinm the list goes too far.
As his spouse we should put our husbands first, and they should bring glory to us as well.
Most of the things on this list are simple ways to encourage your spouse.
I think that it is vital that we be our husbands greatest encouragers.

 

[BigNorsk]

I think the idea of the list could be summed up by saying, "Be concerned for your husband before yourself."

The instruction for husbands could be summed up by saying, "Be concerned for your wife before yourself."

Marv

 

[Amélie Unbound]

I'm a stay-at-home wife, and I already do most of those things, but even I think some of the things on the list are a bit ridiculous, and really, the whole thing kind of leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Although I do a lot of those things, I do them because I want to. I wouldn't like someone telling me I have to do them.

Besides, I don't like those one-size-fits-all lists. Every couple is different and you have to do what's right for you.

For example, the thing about grocery shopping being the wife's job doesn't work for us, because my husband loves grocery shopping and looks forward to grocery day each week. He wouldn't like it if I went without him, because he thinks it's fun for us to do it together.

Also, if I said to my husband, "What are your goals for the week?" I think he'd look at me like I'm nuts.

Also, although I don't work outside the home, I can't help wondering how a woman who works full-time is supposed to have an afternoon nap. I don't think that's a practical suggestion for most women.

 

[Nyssa]

Is there a similar list on ways a man can glorify his wife, or is it the same old dull theme where it's all put on the shoulders of the woman to keep the marriage ticking and the spark there.

I think the list goes too far, way too far, we're women, flesh and blood not stepford wives.

I agree, where IS the equivalent of this for husbands and what would it say? I dread to think!

And like Orchard said, every couple is different. Some of those points are obvious - commonsense ways of nurturing somebody you love, but personally did EVERYTHING on that list I reckon my husband would think I'd gone mad.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

Some of the points are right on the mark. Others make sort of makes it out that if your house isn't set up as a stay at home wife with a 9-5 husband that you are doing things all wrong and that simply isn't the case for many couples.

Oh, I especially like the suggestion of a nap in the afternoon. Really, am I so much the weeker sex that I need a nap after cleaning the bathroom and doing dishes?

 

[Redguard]

While some points seem fair, I'm finding that a lot of them are quite belittling. Both towards men and women.

What year was this book written?

 

[MorganParadise]

Is there a similar list on ways a man can glorify his wife, or is it the same old dull theme where it's all put on the shoulders of the woman to keep the marriage ticking and the spark there.

I think the list goes too far, way too far, we're women, flesh and blood not stepford wives.

If the husband is doing what he is suppose to and the wife is doing what she is suppose to then the husband and wife will end up on equal ground.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Even as Christ also loved the church, wow that is a huge statement for a man meaning he is to give his all, his life, everything to his wife. If the wife and husband love one another the way the bible teaches at the end of the day one will not have done everything for the other as it appears just looking at a list.

 

[rainbowpromise]

There is one I take issue with.

I see so many children out there hurting.
Last year I was giving a talk about being obedient to parents. I pointed out the verse that says children are a gift from God and how being a gift they have to act like they are special. One girl put up her hand and said that she wished her mom knew that verse because she is not special to her mom. Most of the other kids had similar things to say. That girl in particular sited her mom wanting to spend more time with her dad than her.

So many kids out there feel worthless. We choose to be parents. That job is showing God's love and care. If we constantly set our kids aside for our spouse's needs, how does that teach children that they are worthwhile.

I am so glad that my husband and I agree on children. We agree that they need to know, without a doubt, that we are there for them. Often it is me, but I make sure they have always known that dad sent me.
I don't put my kids ahead of my husband, but we put our kids at the top of our list. My husband places great value on his children even though he is not a Christian.

Another thing I take excpetion to is saying good things about your husband no matter what. I can't put my head in the sand. Greater love is knowing and accepting his faults and loving him anyway. My husband has faults! I have faults! If we can still love each other in spite of those faults, we are setting a godly example.
A few years ago I felt so awful. One of the women I knew constantly talked about how perfect her husband was and how good it was to be married to him. I started thinking that I had gotten the short end of the deal in my husband. It turns out that her marriage is no different than mine, but I was learning the wrong attitude. It sure took a huge strain off my husband when I accepted him as is. It also will be a wonderful testimony for our children when they get married.

Everything else is reasonable to a point. When I need to work along side my husband on the farm, I can't possibly keep up with housework as well. It is one or the other, but not both.

 

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" Then ask how you can help him to accomplish these goals.

If I asked my DH this, he would look at me as though I have 2 (possibly 3) heads. We talk about long distance goals and whatnot- weekly goals may look like "getting through the week at work"- Not so sure I can do much to help him there. Unless of course I'm supposed to go to work FOR him?

And I would expect the same from him.

2. Ask if there are things that you could be doing differently that would make his week go easier.

For the most part, DH will tell me if there is anything I can do to make his week easier. At this point, he hasn't needed anything. But I trust him to tell me when he needs something. He knows me well enough that he can come to me, and I don't have to bug him for answers.

And I would expect the same from him.

3. Be organized--keep your laundry done and your house clean. Make sure you have your grocery shopping done and cook good meals. As tough as this may seem these things are YOUR responsibility. Don't leave them till the weekend for hubby to have to help. You will find that as you are busy about your business in your home that this will free up your husband to fulfill his role.

This is my responsibility? Where does it say cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping is MY responsibility? Last time I checked it wasn't 1950, and not all women stay home.

DH and I go grocery shopping together, every 2nd Saturday or Sunday afternoon. It's just one of those things that we like to do together. As for cooking, well thats pretty much 50/50. DH enjoys to cook, and so do I. It's neither of our sole responsibility- like everything else in our marriage, we share the responsibilities.

Some days I find myself doing laundry into the evening... so is this wrong? Is DH not supposed to know that I do laundry or clean the house? Is it just supposed to be done, and him think that a magical fairy comes and does everything

And I woud expect the same frmo him


4. Make sure, even at the end of a busy day, that you have saved up some energy for him. This may mean that you need to take a short afternoon nap. There is nothing wrong with this. Wise men (and women) throughout the ages have taken a "siesta." Just make sure that your nap is taken due to actual fatigue and not from laziness or depression.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wow. I'm not even sure what to say to this. So are we supposed to ignore medical conditions (depression) to please our husbands? Obviously whoever wrote this has NEVER suffered from clinical depression

And I would expect the same from him...

5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.

That just seems obvious to me. But at the same time, DH dosen't expect me to give up on my life for him. He's a big boy. If I'm not home to make supper for him one night because of a previous commitement, he won't starve to death. He survived without me on his own for 5 years.

And I would expect the same from him...

6. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.

Sure. Unless he's asking me to give up something I love to do, or I've had planned for a long time. He'd better have a good reason!!

And I would expect the same from him....

7. Say good things about your husband in the presence of others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.

Of course- and I would expect the same from him.

8. Think about your husband's work, his goals. Make a list of some things that you can do to make him look good and to help him accomplish those goals. Perhaps you could run errands for him, pray for him and make good, wise suggestions. Give him the freedom, however, not to use your suggestions and do not allow yourself to become resentful or offended if he does not follow them.

Of course!! I want only the best for my husband.

And I would expect the same from him....

9. Consider his work as more important than your own.

Of course...... I think you get the point by now.

10. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals, then act upon those thoughts. Some things you might do are: get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work after having a good breakfast, anticipate special needs that he might have based on his own individual goals, keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.

DH takes care of the budget. I have no interest in that.

11. How do you spend your own day? Consider the things that you are involved in that might take your time away from your home, your husband and your responsibilities to glorify him. Do the things you do indeed bring glory to your him? Ask his opinion and guidance in this area.

Honey, I watched Dr Phil this afternoon, was I bringing you glory by doing this?

12. Be kind to his family and friends, even if you don't like them. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to them.

I'm sorry, I refuse to like someone just to please my husband. I don't like one of his friends and he knows it and dosen't expect me to like him either. We just don't mesh well and he causes me more stresss then it's worth.

Why should I have to like someone just because DH does?

13. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

Didn't we cover this one already?

14. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.

HA!!! When did I sign up to be a Stepford wife?

15. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry for the Lord.

Yup.

16. Always remember that, just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey him.

And likewise I am happy when he glorifies me.
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[Athene]

If the husband is doing what he is suppose to and the wife is doing what she is suppose to then the husband and wife will end up on equal ground.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Even as Christ also loved the church, wow that is a huge statement for a man meaning he is to give his all, his life, everything to his wife. If the wife and husband love one another the way the bible teaches at the end of the day one will not have done everything for the other as it appears just looking at a list.

Yes, but where are the books telling men how to be perfect husbands ,where are the lists. Why is it that women are targeted and the pressure put on them to make marriage work.

 

[seamonster]

Yes, but where are the books telling men how to be perfect husbands ,where are the lists. Why is it that women are targeted and the pressure put on them to make marriage work.

I've heard that The Exemplary Husband is the counterpart to the book this list is from, but I haven't read it.

 

[Beth1231]

Sheesh, these are the sorts of lists that I would read when I was a teenager and think to myself "I want to be a really great wife; okay I'll try it." And THEN after meeting reality and getting married to a wonderful husband I realized that a great marriage is 100%/100% and both work hard to make the marriage work in whatever way is necessary. These sorts of lists just create this huge guilt burden. Who needs that?

 

[InTheFlame]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial] So, I'm doing a Bible study on becoming an excellent wife. One of the books I'm reading is called (dum dum dum) "The Excellent Wife." It's written by Martha Peace and one of the lists in it caught my attention. It's called "Ways to Glorify Your Husband" and I thought it would bring up some good topics of discussion.

Here's the list:

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[FONT=Verdana, Arial][/FONT]​

[FONT=Verdana, Arial]Do you think this list "goes too far" or does it have some good suggestions?
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1. Ask your husband, "What are your goals for the week?" Then ask how you can help him to accomplish these goals.

This is nice... as long as it doesn't turn into one spouse spending the majority of their time helping the other accomplish their goals, and having no time for their own goals. I think it's good advice for men OR women.

2. Ask if there are things that you could be doing differently that would make his week go easier.

Much the same as above. It's nice to be considerate of one's spouse!

3. Be organized--keep your laundry done and your house clean. Make sure you have your grocery shopping done and cook good meals. As tough as this may seem these things are YOUR responsibility. Don't leave them till the weekend for hubby to have to help. You will find that as you are busy about your business in your home that this will free up your husband to fulfill his role.

Hmmmmm... they aint my responsibility in OUR household! I assume this is aimed at SAHW/Ms?

4. Make sure, even at the end of a busy day, that you have saved up some energy for him. This may mean that you need to take a short afternoon nap. There is nothing wrong with this. Wise men (and women) throughout the ages have taken a "siesta." Just make sure that your nap is taken due to actual fatigue and not from laziness or depression.

Hmmmm... bad use of the word 'depression' there! I think this is fairly good advice for men and women alike. Obviously not everyone can take an afternoon nap, but sometimes lying down for 10 minutes and consciously relaxing (not sleeping) can do a world of good.

5. Put him first. This means he comes before children, your parents, friends, job, ladies Bible Studies, church work, etc.

... after God, of course. Again, good advice for men and women. But it's not qualified with, 'except for feeding/changing of children and other emergencies'.

6. Willingly and cheerfully rearrange your schedule for him when necessary.

Hmmmmm... maybe. I think this is a great idea where one's spouse needs some help with something every now and then... it's not good to be too rigid in one's routine. BUT it can actually enable a spiritual problem in one's spouse - eg. disorganisation or neglect. Sometimes it's important to say NO.

7. Say good things about your husband in the presence of others. Do not slander him at all, even if what you are saying is true.

Mmmmm... quite good advice for men and women. Exceptions should be made for situations where help/advice is needed. Even then, though, it's possible to speak lovingly instead of bitterly.

8. Think about your husband's work, his goals. Make a list of some things that you can do to make him look good and to help him accomplish those goals. Perhaps you could run errands for him, pray for him and make good, wise suggestions. Give him the freedom, however, not to use your suggestions and do not allow yourself to become resentful or offended if he does not follow them.

OK... showing interest and enthusiam for a spouse's goals is a good thing, I think.

9. Consider his work as more important than your own.

Biblical, for both men and women.

10. Think of specific ways that you can help him accomplish his goals, then act upon those thoughts. Some things you might do are: get up early in the mornings to help him get off to work after having a good breakfast, anticipate special needs that he might have based on his own individual goals, keep careful records of money spent to keep up with the budget.

... but be careful that these extra steps are within your personal resources. eg. if getting up at 6am to make your hubby's brekky will mean you're tired and crabby by the time he gets home, for goodness sake get up an hour or two later!

11. How do you spend your own day? Consider the things that you are involved in that might take your time away from your home, your husband and your responsibilities to glorify him. Do the things you do indeed bring glory to your him? Ask his opinion and guidance in this area.

Hmmmm.... I think our responsibility is to glorify GOD, not our spouses.

12. Be kind to his family and friends, even if you don't like them. Make your commitment to your husband obvious to them.

I don't quite get the second sentence, but the first is sensible advice for men or women.

13. Do and say things that build him up instead of tear him down.

Good call! (again, not really gender-specific). Although it doesn't address the fact that we sometimes need to confront bad behaviour in our spouses.

14. Dress and apply your makeup in an attractive manner that is pleasing to your husband.

Hmmm... wonder what the male equivalent would be. I dunno, I think dress and makeup are rather vain things... but nice breath, good personal hygeine, and a neat/tidy appearance make sense to me. BTW - I think 'dressing in a manner that pleases my husband' would equal no makeup, and trackky pants...

15. Encourage him to use his spiritual gifts in ministry for the Lord.

Mmmm.... good gender-neutral advice, again.

16. Always remember that, just as God is glorified when man obeys Him, your husband is glorified when you obey him.

Hmmmm... can't remember seeing THAT in the bible

 

[ImaginaryVoyager]

I feel a sudden urge to watch Leave it to Beaver reruns

 

[ooOHannahOoo]

Some of the ideas are good and I think they would make my husband very happy, but they just aren't doable in some situations. I work an 8-4 job and it's hard for all of the cooking/cleaning/shopping to be my responsibility. When I do have the house spotless and a homecooked meal on the table almost every night that we're home I find that I have zero time with my husband and no time to rest. I don't have the option of taking a nap during the day. I agree that the husband should always come before the kids, but that does not mean that the kids should be neglected or made to feel less special. I agree that sometimes too much responsibility is given to the wives to make the marriage perfect.

 

[Amélie Unbound]

This morning, just to see what would happen, I asked my husband, "What are your goals for the week?"

He got very still and his eyes got wide, and he said cautiously, "I don't know."

I think he thought it was a trick question. Not that I ever ask trick questions, but this one was so unusual for how we normally talk to each other, that he thought something was up.

I guess it just sounds so formal. If you're close to your spouse and the two of you talk all the time, you already know what's going on with them and you don't need to ask formal questions.

Besides, my husband doesn't really make weekly goals. He goes to work and does the work that he has to do each day. I'm not even sure what an example of a weekly goal would be.

 

[NiteClerk]

.... [FONT=Verdana, Arial]
[/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial]Do you think this list "goes too far" or does it have some good suggestions?
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I see nothing wrong with the list.