Potty Training= Frustration

[CrystalBrooke]

Emily has been showing signs of being ready to potty train since she was about 19 months old. I slowly started working with her then..letting her sit on the potty and I even bought her little panties and let her wear them. I never pushed her tho because I knew she was still really young. Now that she's 2, I believe that she's more than ready. Sometimes if we're out in town she'll tell me "mommy, I need to pee" But it's always when there's no bathrooms nearby. I've been working with her consistantly for a few weeks and she's been doing ok. I think she's only used her potty once..but she's been telling me when she has to pee and she tries to make it to her potty but she's just a little slow...I consider that progress tho.

But last night and today she's just been so lazy about it and it really frustrates me. She loves to wear her panties so when she's at home..that's all she's been wearing lately (we've really been through the laundry with them too lol). Last night she was sitting her bed with my sister and didn't even bother to tell anyone that she needed to pee..she just peed all over her sheets. And today I asked her if she needed to pee because I knew it had been awhile and she said no so I didn't make her sit on the potty ( I don't want her to end up not liking to sit on it because I make her when she doesn't need to)..and just 2 minutes after asking her she said "oh no mommy..I have to pee" So I said "Well get up and sit on your potty so you can pee in it" and she wouldn't get up..she just laid there and said "oh no I pee on the chair" And she did..she peed everywhere. I know she's little and is learning...but it just really frustrates me that she's not even trying these past 2 days. I know they go back and forth and have good days and bad days...but it is just sooo frustrating.

 

[Robinsegg]

It took *forever* for both of my kids to potty train. It seems like some kids just take longer, and others are just plain not wanting to take the time or energy to get up and go to the potty
One thing you can do to protect your furniture is make her sit on a towel . . . if she insists on wearing panties and not going to the potty, she has to sit on the towel.
Rachel

 

[Manna]

Breanna was about the same at that age, and to be honest, I just completely backed off of potty-training, and let her do it whenever she was completely ready and wanted to do it on her own. She also loved the idea of wearing panties, but I wouldn't let her wear them until she was able to wear them without making a mess. So if it were me, I wouldn't let her wear panties right now since she's not making the effort to go to the bathroom like she's supposed to. Maybe taking them away would teach her what it takes to get the "treat" of big-girl-panties.

It took awhile for it to click with Breanna. I kept promising that whenever she was ready to start using the "big-girl-potty" (we didn't use a potty chair, I didn't want to clean it out! lol), she would be able to wear her Princess panties (thank you, Disney!), but only if she didn't potty in them.

Now there is something very different about actually having an accident. Not like what you're describing where she doesn't get up to go to the bathroom, but obviously kids are going to have accidents. I would NEVER punish for something like that.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

Oh no..I didn't punish her for not going to the potty earlier either. Potty training is still relatively new to her and I don't think it's right to punish a child who is still learning. Like I had said, she usually makes an effort to try and make it to the potty..but she doesn't make it in time. It's just that she's been lazy these past 2 days and not even trying. The few times that she has made it to the potty she usually gets some kind of treat. The other night she got a cup cake. I'm going to try to buy a few small toys at the dollar store and keep them on hand so I can reward her as soon as she uses the potty so she can connect the two.

I really worry about making sure that when her daddy has her that he works with her also. We've talked about it and I hope he'll keep it up as his house also.

 

[rainbowbright]

I'm still having problems wih my 3 year-old daughter. We just ran out of pull-ups this week and I told that was it, no more for her, just underwear. So far she's only had one accident today and I've been making her go every hour. I think I'm having such a hard time b/c she is so stubborn and I've been putting her on the potty since she was six months old, but of course I didn't enforce it. She is in gymnastics rigth now but b/c she's not potty-trained, she has to be in the toddler class and at first, going into the preschool class was a wonderful motivator for her, but then it wore off. We pretty much have to start over every week.
Hang in there, we'll get through this somehow.

 

[charligirl]

DD was the same, showed signs at 18 mths and infact was pooing on the toilet/pot from about 20mths. I tried potty training at 22 months and it was a fiasco. We had a week of accident - to be expected- then a few days where it was all perfect, then suddenly a regression for another week which is when I gave up!

By 26 months she suddenly started pooing in her nappy again after months of not.

She's 30 months now and I think she is finally properly ready, 2 was just too young emotionally I think, even though the physical signs were there. I am waiting a few weeks until after our holiday.

 

[jgonz]

None of my kids were _really_ ready to train until closer to 3 yrs old. Before then they were interested in the toilet, they talked about their bodily functions, they watched me, DH, and older siblings, they "seemed" ready, but they never really were.

My advice is to back off potty training completely for awhile. Even 3 or 4 weeks can make a Huge difference in muscle development as well as mental understanding....

HTH~

 

[coffeegal]

you know those pads you sit on in the hospital when you are in labor? you can buy those at the store in the area they have the adult diapers (for lack of more proper terms).

just give her time, she'll get it. i know for many kids they know they have to go, but that means stopping what they are doing

 

[Birbitt]

Get a Jar and let her help you decorate it...then fill it with her favorite candies or other small treat..then every time she goes to the potty without accident let her have a candy. (we used m&m's and gave them 3 each time) Also you could try putting vinyl pants over her panties to protect the furniture and the floor.

 

[~Mrs. A2J~]

We started at 2 and it went great for a while and then into total regression so then we just totally backed off and then started again a few months later and everything went much more smoothly and by 2.75 DD was fully trained. I think it had to do more with DD's emotional development rather than physically because she would stay dry at night from about 24 months so she had the capacity and would also poop on the potty without fail. I think sometimes the "pressure" to be potty trained can get to them. Candy treats worked well as rewards for us.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Oh no..I didn't punish her for not going to the potty earlier either. Potty training is still relatively new to her and I don't think it's right to punish a child who is still learning. Like I had said, she usually makes an effort to try and make it to the potty..but she doesn't make it in time. It's just that she's been lazy these past 2 days and not even trying. The few times that she has made it to the potty she usually gets some kind of treat. The other night she got a cup cake. I'm going to try to buy a few small toys at the dollar store and keep them on hand so I can reward her as soon as she uses the potty so she can connect the two.

I really worry about making sure that when her daddy has her that he works with her also. We've talked about it and I hope he'll keep it up as his house also.

The little girl I watch potty trained at 3. She was very opposed to it before. Her parents kept her in the pull ups and had her try a few times a day to go to the bathroom in the toilet. When she tried she was praised and got one M&M. It took her awhile to catch on but she started going in the toilet and whenever she did she would get two M&M's.

One day they just took the pull ups away (they called them diapers with her and told her that she was a big girl and too old for diapers) and put her in regular underwear. She had a couple of accidents at first but it didn't take her long to get the hang of it.

One thing she was also really big on was a movie called "Potty Time Elmo". I really do think it helped with her potty training, she still quotes parts of the movie, lol.

 

[K9_Trainer]

My mom used "big girl panties" as a reward and motivation. It might be something you could consider trying since Emily loves her panties so much.

If she wants to wear big girl panties, she has to potty in the toilet. If she doesn't potty in the toilet, she has to wear diapers like a baby.

 

[heart of peace]

Potty training by far is the most challenging aspect to my parenting. I don't like doing it but it is something that must be done. My son is finally willing to potty train, there was no way he was going to potty train unless he was on board -- that's my strong willed child for you...lol I wish someone could open up potty training school (like dog obedience school) so I can send him there in diapers and he'd come out in underwear!! Haha...I kid

you know those pads you sit on in the hospital when you are in labor? you can buy those at the store in the area they have the adult diapers (for lack of more proper terms).

Yes, those are chux and I used those as makeshift changing pads when he was an infant and I use it for my cat who gets tempermental and pees outside of his box if there is any signs of pee in his litter box. They are a Godsend!

Get a Jar and let her help you decorate it...then fill it with her favorite candies or other small treat..then every time she goes to the potty without accident let her have a candy. (we used m&m's and gave them 3 each time) Also you could try putting vinyl pants over her panties to protect the furniture and the floor.

I have a confession, I am not into rewards based parenting, but surprise surprise, I am using rewards to get him to potty train. At this point and how I feel, I will do anything (outside of corporal punishment) to get him potty trained.

 

[AnyaMa]

A lot of people swear that their kids were trained at one year, but ive never seen a child fully trained until they were just a month or 2 shy of 3 years old. And girls often are even a little later than that. Shes almost there, just give her a bit of time and lot of patience

 

[nvizion]

Our 3 year old son was potty trained around 2.6 months or so. It was a scary time because he would hold it for 2 days and I'd have to hold his hand because it hurt him so much.

Why its actually funny now, back then it was horrible (for him). We tried to get him potty trained around age 2 and he actually did it but we were never consistent (shame on us) so he never got the hang of it. When we actually helped him 6 months later within a week he was doing it by himself and really happy about it.

Oh, and the treat thing works like a charm.

 

[Robinsegg]

My daughter was 4.5 before she fully potty-trained . . . my son will be 5.5 next month and is still not completely . . .

It really needs to be their idea, for my kids. . . . otherwise, nothing seems to work
R

 

[appleofhiseye]

Sorry I don't have any advice about training at 2, but I think you must be a very patient Mom for letting her wear panties, and not pull-ups or diapers, and still be cleaning up messes. Sorry to say I would not have that much patience. lol God bless you!

 

[GolfingMom]

I responded yesterday but it's gone...
FWIW, I used the big boy undies and took them ever 1/2 hour to the bathroom. They pee'd themselves a few times, didn't like the feeling and quickly learned it wasn't fun.
I started with BM first (before one with my oldest, a little after one with my youngest) and they quickly got the concept of that.
prizes, sticker charts, celebrating worked well for us.
Both kiddo's were PT around 2.

 

[jouwhoo]

Every child is different. My oldest was potty-trained at a little past two years old. My middle child basically potty-trained herself at 2 years old . She was so easy.
My youngest is 16 months and she's been showing me signs that she's ready, like taking her diaper off after she pees, or getting the diaper and wipes and laying down to wait for me to change her when I didn't even know she needed changed. I tried putting her on the potty chair a few times and she hasn't gone, then she would go sit on the couch and pee.

One thing you could do is take her with you every time you go to the bathroom and just let her try. Praise her each time she goes in the potty, but if she has an accident, don't do anything. My sister's daughter will be 10 years old this July and she still pees in her pants and in bed. She had been potty-trained when she was two, but then she went to her dad's house for the weekend and came back peeing in her pants and the bed. Then recently she was doing really well, then her dad got a divorce and she was peeing again. My sister took her to the specialist and he told her not to give her any negative feedback when she has an accident, only positive when she stays dry.

I think that for now, since she's just starting to be trained, you should take her to "try" even if she says she doesn't have to go. Also, it's great that you're having her wear panties instead of pullups or a diaper. Kids tend to get lazy when they wear pullups, and they are harder to clean up. I wouldn't worry about it now, but if she was 4 or 5, it becomes a lazy thing and they need to know that they are a "big boy" or "big girl" and if they can't act like it by using the toilet, then they're not big enough for certain things that they are
privileged to. At least, that's the advice I've heard. Unless it's an emotional thing, like with my neice.

Good luck!