Potential in-laws

[Pope Gonzo]

Hey all, this Sunday my family had my girlfriend's family over for a cookout. Now, both my s/o and I expected our families to get along well, but we were shocked at how quickly they meshed! And it wasn't just a formality-ish getting along. It took a little for conversation to start to mix, but our parents and our siblings all got along really well! Considering the fact that barring a booming voice from the sky, my girlfriend will become my wife in, oh, 2 years or so, this was a good test to see how well the potential in-laws get along with my family. (I've gotten to know them already and they love me )

Have any of you had similar results? Totally opposite results? Anybody scared of families meeting? Share, share, share!

 

[micaela]

OH! Just lost my whole reply!!

I met my S/O's Vietnamese/Chinese parents for the first time 2mths into our relationship. I was TERRIFIED, partly because they speak very limited English, but mostly because of the things my S/O had told me they had said about me (e.g. expressing their disappointment that I am not Chinese, looking at a photo of me with a friend's daughter and asking if she was mine, asking if I'd slept at his house (which I haven't), making comments about looks not being everything). He also told me to be not surprised if they completely ignored me on our first meeting. However, after all sorts of advice from my S/O (e.g. I must call them Aunt and Uncle, don't speak unless spoken to etc.) I decided to be myself and nothing but. I took a cake I had made (it was all eaten in 5mins, and opened the door to 'interpreted' cooking conversations with his mum), asked his father about the art work on the walls, and spent an hour looking through photo albums with his Dad and hearing about their journey to Australia.
It was wonderful, and I even told my S/O that I thought I liked his family more than him LOL.

So, in 3 weeks, my parents are coming to Australia to meet him. I think he probably has more reason to be scared, since a) my parents love me to bits and b) my parents know almost every detail of our relationship to this point (excitement and hurts included) and c) my parents can be quite blunt and vocal. My parents are not quite as culturally sensitive as me, and I'm a little scared they may say something completely embarrassing or rude unintentionally.

barring a booming voice from the sky

we will probably be married by late 2005, and I was curious - do you think we should introduce our parents to each other now since they live in different countries and may not meet again for at least a year?

P.S. Pope, so glad to hear you had a good experience - please send me some of your good-family-connection vibes!

 

[Lbiagm]

thats a good sign pope.

 

[desi]

thats a good sign pope.

Yes it is.

 

[90qzrblu]

Amy's parents and my parents got along very well! The first time they met, her dad, my dad, and I went bird hunting together. Our dads talked like they had been friends for years. They are both old farm boys that have a lot of similar interests, so there was plenty to converse about. Our mothers are also similar, and got along well.

I am glad things went well that day out hunting. I asked Amy's dad for his blessing to marry Amy while we were hunting. He could have said no with a 12 gage...

 

[ardeur]

My boyfriend's dad is no longer alive and it's not likely that I'll meet his mom since they don't have much contact. On the other hand, before we were "together" my boyfriend met my parents and siblings. There were awkward moments, but he loves my family. They all look forward to another visit. I couldn't have wished for a better meeting.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

we will probably be married by late 2005, and I was curious - do you think we should introduce our parents to each other now since they live in different countries and may not meet again for at least a year?

P.S. Pope, so glad to hear you had a good experience - please send me some of your good-family-connection vibes!

The reason I suggested the barbecue was so our families could meet each other before we got engaged. I think it's a matter of personal preference, but I think it might be fun for them to meet, especially since they live in different countries.

As for the good vibes, the only thing I can say is(and you know this by experience) just relax As advice for other readers, do just like micaela did - be yourself and have a good time.

 

[CDN Red Raider]

lucky for you guys. gettin along with my only bro-in-law is a nightmare. apart from the fact that he has a horrible personality, it didnt help that he married into 7 bro-in-laws

 

[JillLars]

Josh and I are getting married in May of 2006, so we want to get our families together for a bbq or something like that.

We come from a small-town area, so our parents have already met a few times, and Josh's dad has worked with my Grandpa in the past. At first I was very concerned because Josh and I got engaged not too long after my parents divorced. My mom had a new boyfriend and was very excited to get together with Josh's family, but my dad really didn't feel comfortable cause he felt like it would be a "couple's thing" and he'd feel out of place, but now he has a girlfriend and will be re-marrying next summer so he is more excited about my upcoming wedding, and meeting Josh's whole family. I have a feeling our families will have a lot of fun together.