This is something I haven't ever dealt with before. One of the plp (potential life partners) (J) that I have been dating is 46, has a large belly, doesn't make great food choices, and doesn't regulary exercise.
My family ate pretty healthy and we never salted food at the table. My mom was a nurse too. I'm overweight, but I exercise, eat pretty well except when I'm studying, and my lab values indicate I'm doing something right.
We were discussing one of my school assignments and I asked him if he took an aspirin every day since studies have shown that it can greatly reduce the chance of heart attack. It turns out he hasn't been to the Dr. in years. He joked that I wasn't his wife yet, so I couldn't nag him about going to the Dr. yet. I told him he should think about being around for his daughters then. I told him he should talk to a Dr. before taking aspirin, but his response was that he didn't see any reason to take something he didn't need. About two months ago when he was again salting his salty Mexican food, I told him about salt and it's effect on blood vessels and blood pressure. His response was that his blood pressure was always fine when he donated blood.
Keep in mind that none of these conversations were like nagging (except urging him to get a physical). We were having conversations about my schoolwork and he was asking questions. I'm not concerned with how good he looks, except for what the ramifications are to his future health. He has mentioned that he will be losing a lot of weight when he gets engaged so he can have lots of sex and not get tired after marriage. He is a smart guy so his comments that I bolded concern me because he's not thinking at all about taking care of the body he was given.
The last time we ate together he salted his fried chimichanga and I said nothing, but I've been wondering if this would be a potential issue in marriage. How crazy would this drive me to have my husband doing things over and over that I know are harming him? Every time we've gone to a Mexican restaurant he gets the fried Chimichanga. I don't want to marry someone and have them die 5 years later because he refused to make better choices.
All the guys that I've dated in the last 3 years have been 39 and over, and most of them have made comments about things they are doing for their health. Even if I told him about my concerns and he started eating healthier in front of me; it would be for the wrong reasons. It really concerns me that at his age he's not making any changes to keep himself healthy. Once we were married, what would keep him from going back to his old destructive habits?
My family ate pretty healthy and we never salted food at the table. My mom was a nurse too. I'm overweight, but I exercise, eat pretty well except when I'm studying, and my lab values indicate I'm doing something right.
We were discussing one of my school assignments and I asked him if he took an aspirin every day since studies have shown that it can greatly reduce the chance of heart attack. It turns out he hasn't been to the Dr. in years. He joked that I wasn't his wife yet, so I couldn't nag him about going to the Dr. yet. I told him he should think about being around for his daughters then. I told him he should talk to a Dr. before taking aspirin, but his response was that he didn't see any reason to take something he didn't need. About two months ago when he was again salting his salty Mexican food, I told him about salt and it's effect on blood vessels and blood pressure. His response was that his blood pressure was always fine when he donated blood.
Keep in mind that none of these conversations were like nagging (except urging him to get a physical). We were having conversations about my schoolwork and he was asking questions. I'm not concerned with how good he looks, except for what the ramifications are to his future health. He has mentioned that he will be losing a lot of weight when he gets engaged so he can have lots of sex and not get tired after marriage. He is a smart guy so his comments that I bolded concern me because he's not thinking at all about taking care of the body he was given.
The last time we ate together he salted his fried chimichanga and I said nothing, but I've been wondering if this would be a potential issue in marriage. How crazy would this drive me to have my husband doing things over and over that I know are harming him? Every time we've gone to a Mexican restaurant he gets the fried Chimichanga. I don't want to marry someone and have them die 5 years later because he refused to make better choices.
All the guys that I've dated in the last 3 years have been 39 and over, and most of them have made comments about things they are doing for their health. Even if I told him about my concerns and he started eating healthier in front of me; it would be for the wrong reasons. It really concerns me that at his age he's not making any changes to keep himself healthy. Once we were married, what would keep him from going back to his old destructive habits?
