Posting

[dellinw]

no one seems to be posting, is something wrong with my computer? March 26 is the last post shown. I am having a hard time with spring and all. almost 10 mos for me. When will it get easier?
Helen

 

[kaykay637]

dellinw, I think people may be discouraged by the computer site having so many posting issues right now. I usually post on a fellowship thread and it has been VERY discouraging trying to post lately even for those of us who post every day. There was a message from the site management on the 6th stating that they are aware of the issues and are working hard to get it running efficiently again. (They said that they chose to keep the site running while they are upgrading, but that yeah, it's a problem right now.)

prayers for you dellinw!

 

[kaykay637]

Also, I am not a widow/widower but as I have shared with some of you before, I am active in grief ministry because my husband and I lost our only child six years ago.

So...I can only kinda relate to that. And I will tell you that I think the first year, the first Christmas, the first this, the first that and yeah, even the first Spring, first Fall, etc. after your loved one is no longer with you is the toughest.

 

[kaykay637]

Also, I am not a widow/widower but as I have shared with some of you before, I am active in grief ministry because my husband and I lost our only child six years ago.


So...I can only kinda relate to that. And I will tell you that I think the first year, the first Christmas, the first this, the first that and yeah, even the first Spring, first Fall, etc. after your loved one is no longer with you is the toughest.

Sorry for the double post. As I said, the site is "buggy" right now.

 

[TogetherForever]

I was wondering where everyone was also. Hang in there Helen. I still have so many bad days (the last 2 days I spent crying), but it has gotten a little easier. I think part of my problem is that I don't have Christian fellowship. I just don't feel a part of anything. I don't know how involved you are with your church or family, but I think that would help you.

Sometimes I don't post because I have a hard time putting my feelings into words. I wish I could be more encouraging.

Miriam

 

[Faithful2]

no one seems to be posting, is something wrong with my computer? March 26 is the last post shown. I am having a hard time with spring and all. almost 10 mos for me. When will it get easier?
Helen

Helen,

My heart goes out to you. I can relate to what you are saying about spring. It's been 9 weeks since my beloved 56-year-old husband died of a heart attack and it doesn't seem right that the trees should be blooming, the birds should be chirping, and the youth should be so happy with "spring fever". The world has stopped for me.

I too am wondering when it will ever get easier. I have trouble eating, sleeping and concentrating - I cry so much. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. I force myself to get up in the morning and go to work because I really don't care about much right now. I know that this is a temporary state of mind, so I just keep going.

Does any of this sound familiar to any of you?

Pat

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I haven't been able to post because of the site being messed up. Either it takes too long or it had a message saying they were working on the site try back later. So frustrating.
Anyway to those of you who are in the beginning stages of grief, yes, it does get easier, but only as time goes on, and you allow yourself to heal from the shock and loss of not having your loved one around. I have been a widow for 3 years now. I still cry, I still miss him, I still get lonely, angry, sad. But I know the God I serve and put my trust in Him. I believe I will see my husband again, and this is all temporary. So I plug along doing the best I can, trying to raise my kids to grow up and love God and be happy. My fear is that I won't be able to be around for my kids and they worry about that too. But Take heart, you're pain will get better, but everyone is different, some take longer than others.

 

[nyokiasheree]

I guess for me I have felt so out of place at times. I do not feel like a widow and as a matter of fact I do not like the word. I have been feeling so angry at every body and everything that some times it is best to keep to myself. I can relate to alot of things that is posted but some how I feel as though I am in a category by myself due to so many things.

At 26years old how do I go about picking up the pieces or starting over for a matter of fact. I have invested so much into my relationship with my husband and now what? I feel lost and I don't even know who I am any more. My identity has been defined by my husband and our work with church so much that I feel like a raft drifting out into the ocean.

I try not to care about anything and I have lost faith in mankind. I cherish my relationship with the Lord but some times I feel so forsaken. I know and believe what the word of God says, but I still feel this way.

 

[JeanR]

It is 18 months today for me since Terry's sudden passing. In some ways it has gotten easier. I no longer am in a daze; I am thinking clearly now. I have cried every day for the last 18 months. My doctor did put me on an antidepressant a month ago, but I don't like the thoughts of taking it.

A new area of struggle for me is that I am encountering the attitude of people concerning the amount of time that has past. 18 months doesn't seem a long time when we were married 29 years, but I am starting to hear, "I have someone for you to meet". I encountered it prior to this, but it has taken on a whole new meaning. I feel like they think I should be through grieving and ready to move on.

My head knows that I am not married anymore and that I am single. My heart says that I am married.

 

[c1ners]

I guess for me I have felt so out of place at times. I do not feel like a widow and as a matter of fact I do not like the word. I have been feeling so angry at every body and everything that some times it is best to keep to myself. I can relate to alot of things that is posted but some how I feel as though I am in a category by myself due to so many things.

At 26years old how do I go about picking up the pieces or starting over for a matter of fact. I have invested so much into my relationship with my husband and now what? I feel lost and I don't even know who I am any more. My identity has been defined by my husband and our work with church so much that I feel like a raft drifting out into the ocean.

I try not to care about anything and I have lost faith in mankind. I cherish my relationship with the Lord but some times I feel so forsaken. I know and believe what the word of God says, but I still feel this way.

I know how you feel sweetie. I was 22 when my husband died. It took me years and years to learn to start likeing life and people again. Even to this day I get angry at people for being alive. I always think "Why not you? Why did my Danny have to die, and you get to live?" I wish I could say you'll get over it, but you might not. I never have, and it's been almost 21 years.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

It is 18 months today for me since Terry's sudden passing. In some ways it has gotten easier. I no longer am in a daze; I am thinking clearly now. I have cried every day for the last 18 months. My doctor did put me on an antidepressant a month ago, but I don't like the thoughts of taking it.

A new area of struggle for me is that I am encountering the attitude of people concerning the amount of time that has past. 18 months doesn't seem a long time when we were married 29 years, but I am starting to hear, "I have someone for you to meet". I encountered it prior to this, but it has taken on a whole new meaning. I feel like they think I should be through grieving and ready to move on.

My head knows that I am not married anymore and that I am single. My heart says that I am married.

I hear ya JeanR, people mean well but they act so stupid sometimes. You have to just be blunt with them and tell them you don't want to "meet" anyone. You're not ready. It's been 3 years for me, and the thought of going on a date with someone still scares the hell out of me. Not to mention I really don't have the energy to invest in that kind of relationship, nor do I need the temptations that would come with it. That puts me kind of in a pickle because I'm lonely, but ?? At least for now, I have my kids to raise. 18 months is not enough time in my mind, but some heal quicker than others or just don't want to be alone and that's OK too. You and I both know that whatever it is for us, is OK for us! And I totally get what your saying about still feeling married. I do, and It's been 3 years for me. I think from what I've read in your postings, that you are doing good. Just tell those friends of yours that "you're not ready" if that is truly how you feel.

 

[Hisbygrace]

Dear Helen there is no set time for our healing to take place sweetie. Some people seem to move on pretty fast, some take longer. We all go through the grieving process at different paces and in different ways. But rest in the knowledge that God is with you each and everyday and that healing will come.