Any of y'all ever suffer from this? Or any of your wives? Did you go on medication or do other things to alleviate your struggles? Husbands- what did you do to help your wives? What do you wish you'd have done differently?
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Post partum depression
- Thread starter ShannonMcCatholic
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faerieevaH
lucky wife
I don't know what post partum depression is, Shannon. But I love you too. *BIG hug*
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Benedicta00
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What kind of post partum depression are you referring to? A serious one or just the baby blues? If it is the former- you may want to talk to the OB and if it is the later one- itll pass. I know it does not seem like it but it will in a week or so.ShannonMcMorland said:
The thing that effected me was the adjustment period with each child. Its just an adjustment no matter how many you have, no matter how prepared you are, you still have to give yourself time to adjust and the hormone need to straighten themselves out- it is biological, not mental.
As silly as this sounds, I just got over post moving depression. For some stupid strange reason I missed my old house and felt as if I wanted to go back to my old life there. As if this life now is any different, I can be so silly at times I have to laugh at myself. I guess some of us take change better than others.
Were so fallen, Ill pray for you
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Cat59
Just me
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1 in 5 women have it, its common, so hopefully others can give their perspective too.ShannonMcMorland said:
I had it worse with my first, and really can't remember much about the first year of his life. I didn't go on meds though, although that can help if you have symptoms such as sleep problems and eating problems. With Matt, my second, I was more aware of what could happen and tried to avoid getting as bad. I felt awful a lot of the time, but knew if I could keep myself busy, it would help. I got a season ticket for a local festival, which was going on for several months and used to go there 2 or 3 times a week. I'd wrap the kids up and could just walk round there looking at all the gardens and stalls for hours and it helped.Tom would have a ride on the back of the pushchair and Matt would go to sleep.
Scheduling things like that helps.
One of the things that happens when people get low is that they do all the essential things, cooking, cleaning etc. and cut out all the nice things. Some people I know try listing all the pleasant things they used to do and then timetabling at least one every day- simple things like listening to a favourite bit of music, going to the park, getting hubbie to cook the tea while you have a long bath, having a lie in once in a while.
Exercise is good- this can be in the form of walks, games with the kids, not just "formal" exercise.
And the Psalms always help me when I'm low. So many of them start out describing the way I'm feeling, but despite it all, end on a note of triumph over all.
My random late night thoughts
and 
that it'll go soon, Shannon.
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Thanks Cat!! Oh- please will you e-mail me your address again? I just loved the book you sent! I have a little card and a picture of Bernadette I'd like to send!!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me- I am sorry for your struggles.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with me- I am sorry for your struggles.
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Shelb5 said:
I think it might be somewhere in between. I have lots of symptoms of more serious deppression as opposed to just the blues...
I have not had much help. I am still bleeding.
I am trying to reallycommuniocate to my husband how desperate I feel and that I really need his nuturing. I thought I'd try that for the next two weeks and if I'm still struggling talk to my OB at my 6 week appt.
Thank you for your prayers- I really need them!
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& 
I don't remember being depressed, just emotional. The oldest boy was born a few days before Thanksgiving but he stayed in because of jaundice. So my family from out of town there for Thanksgiving and to see new baby we're eating and I just start balling crying because I wanted to be with the baby.
Hope you get to feeling better soon, and hugs to you.
Marcia
Hope you get to feeling better soon, and hugs to you.
Marcia
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Thanks for all of the love and hugs, guys! Really- though this isn't a place in the traditional sense- it is really nice to be able to come here and be weak and broken. There aren't too many other places I am able to do that, thank you for your love and all of your prayers!
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Benedicta00
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I can relate to that, just irrational about everything.marciadietrich said:I don't remember being depressed, just emotional. The oldest boy was born a few days before Thanksgiving but he stayed in because of jaundice. So my family from out of town there for Thanksgiving and to see new baby we're eating and I just start balling crying because I wanted to be with the baby.
Hope you get to feeling better soon, and hugs to you.
Marcia
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Benedicta00
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Talk to the doc sooner if you really think you need it.ShannonMcMorland said:
Is this different from anything you have experienced before? If so I would seek help from a pro like Dr. Phil (just kidding, just kidding!!!)
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LOL!! My mental health is always a tricky thing-- I had suffered from depression for a long time- but I think most of it was a result of being raped. I have really struggled with anger for much of my adult life, but it is much more pronounced right now-- I've been just a horrible mom.
My husband is finally off from work for a week, I am praying that I can talk him into taking two weeks. I really need that time. I was home alone with all of the kids by four days post-partum- and then we had a bunch of company (someof whom were helpful, some really taxing) for the holidays. Then I was supposed to have help that next week, but things got all screwy with my husband's work schedule and I only had help a couple of hours that week. So I am really physically cruddy and I think thay has exacerbated what might otherwise be within the realm of "normal".
That was a really long way of saying "I don't know" in answer to your question Michelle!
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Benedicta00
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ShannonMcMorland said:
Been there, done that! I had to use my help tokens up with this last one when I was in the hospital and there were all spent when I came home. My husbands job this time around left no room for him to even care for the children while I was away. Luckily things worked out for us; the baby came at a time when he could be there with me.
My mom was with the children at home and she really went over what she is able to do, so I came home and she went back to work, my husband could not get any time off until the following week so I was with my 5 and a new one for the first week too. To make it worse that was the week school stared so no one who had kids could really donate anytime because they had their own kids to tend to and I was unprepared for the school year, I had to finish getting all that they needed. It was crazy, thank God I had a good physical recovery or I would not have been able to do it.
My point is, I think you just are experiencing normal stress and not a true depression. Things are not gong to look as they would if you were in your (for lack of a better word) right mind, right now. You just need a break and time to relax, I bet. If I could, I would be there to help.
The baby is 3 weeks now? You should start to feel better, I know lack of sleep doesnt make it easier either. I think a good night sleep would do wonders too.
I know right after I began to feel like myself we had to evacuate due to hurricane Ivan and that was a ridiculous mess too. The baby was exactly one month old and I had to take him with a two year old and a autistic child off 13 hours in a drive across Louisiana. I was really freaking out by the attitude of some of my family members, they acted as if we were on vacation and I had to point out to them this is not fun for me, it isnt like I was just operated on or anything then they apologized, they forgot Huh???
Anyway, I have no idea what my point is, I guess I dont have any accept that I think you will be fine in a week, take care of yourself and dont try to be super mom. I know this sound cliché but this goes to show how strong of a person you are and we know it is all because of the grace of God we are able to do it.
You are not alone and you are not a horrible mom, just a stress out mom. I know Im the same way.
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Michelle- thank you for sharing your experience with me- it really , really helps just to know that it sucks for other people, too... that's not as eloquent as I would like- but it is exactly what I mean!
I remember the evacuation and I was thimking the whole time about how little your new baby was!
Please keep me in your prayers! In many ways having to beg help from my husnad and be really emotionally vulnerable in a way which is constructive rather than destructive is the absolute hardest thing in the world for me to do!!
I remember the evacuation and I was thimking the whole time about how little your new baby was!
Please keep me in your prayers! In many ways having to beg help from my husnad and be really emotionally vulnerable in a way which is constructive rather than destructive is the absolute hardest thing in the world for me to do!!
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Wiffey
He is my refuge and my fortress...
My mother pulled me through my post-partum blues. Without her help I don't think I would have made it! Sometimes just having a family member babysit so you can get a shower and a nap is a HUGE blessing.
If you are hesitant to take prescription meds and the depression is mild, there are herbal supplements like St. John's Wort that naturally boost Serotonin levels in the brain and reduce depression. If the depression is moderate to severe, see a professional because your shifting hormones may be causing a very treatable neurochemical imbalance. A small pecentage of moms with PP depression do develop post-partum psychosis, which can be VERY dangerous and frightening.
Symptoms of PP depression that would necessitate a visit to a professional would include:
anhedonia over a period of weeks (total lack of enjoyment of life/feeling disconnected)
suicidal feelings
inability to sleep, even when you have the chance
racing thoughts/ obsessive thoughts
thoughts of hurting others
irritability and mood swings (beyond the norm for a new mom)
irrational fears and feelings of impending doom
crying jags for no reason
anergia (total lack of energy/ listlessness)
Early symptoms of PP psychosis (get help STAT) are:
hearing voices, paricularly commands to hurt self or child
disorganization
visual hallucinations
paranoia
feeling like you aren't real
inability to concentrate
ongoing lack of sleep
violent impulses
Sadly, a lot of mothers struggle through alone because they are ashamed of their symptoms. Many women suffer through for a lot longer than necessary because of the stigma attached to meds, or because they feel guilty for not being happy and they believe the depression indicates that they aren't good mothers.
I worked with quite a few young mothers suffering from post-partum depression and psychosis during my nursing career (in psych). All of the moms I worked with sought help out of a sense of love for their children and a desire to be strong and healthy in order to provide for their little ones.
Praying for you and for all moms who are hurting...
If you are hesitant to take prescription meds and the depression is mild, there are herbal supplements like St. John's Wort that naturally boost Serotonin levels in the brain and reduce depression. If the depression is moderate to severe, see a professional because your shifting hormones may be causing a very treatable neurochemical imbalance. A small pecentage of moms with PP depression do develop post-partum psychosis, which can be VERY dangerous and frightening.
Symptoms of PP depression that would necessitate a visit to a professional would include:
anhedonia over a period of weeks (total lack of enjoyment of life/feeling disconnected)
suicidal feelings
inability to sleep, even when you have the chance
racing thoughts/ obsessive thoughts
thoughts of hurting others
irritability and mood swings (beyond the norm for a new mom)
irrational fears and feelings of impending doom
crying jags for no reason
anergia (total lack of energy/ listlessness)
Early symptoms of PP psychosis (get help STAT) are:
hearing voices, paricularly commands to hurt self or child
disorganization
visual hallucinations
paranoia
feeling like you aren't real
inability to concentrate
ongoing lack of sleep
violent impulses
Sadly, a lot of mothers struggle through alone because they are ashamed of their symptoms. Many women suffer through for a lot longer than necessary because of the stigma attached to meds, or because they feel guilty for not being happy and they believe the depression indicates that they aren't good mothers.
I worked with quite a few young mothers suffering from post-partum depression and psychosis during my nursing career (in psych). All of the moms I worked with sought help out of a sense of love for their children and a desire to be strong and healthy in order to provide for their little ones.
Praying for you and for all moms who are hurting...
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Oh my YES! With my daughter, I had the regular baby blues, weepy for a few days, and got better. With my son 2 years later, I had full blown post partum. I suffered more from anxiety than depression though, debilitating panic attacks. I could not function. I was put on Paxil, which made me worse, then Xanax which helped tremendously because it allowed me to sleep which helped more than anything. They almost put me in the hospital but I started to get better. Thankfully, I had an awesome husband. As for what Id have done differently, I just wish Id been more prepared beforehand so it didn't take me completely off guard. It was an awful experience but one which I thank God went away relatively quickly (about 2 months to feel completely back to normal).
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Benedicta00
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I know what you mean; I've been there too. I think we feel like failures that we have to ask for help, and that just isn't rational. I felt bad asking my husband for help because he works so hard already but the asking for help didn't come out that way, it was more complaining about the situation than asking for help. I sounded like a ranting fool to him Im sure and he would have just rather me just state what it is I would like him to do than complain about how things were.ShannonMcMorland said:
No one can do it all. You sound as if you just need rest, I hope you get some. I really dont think this is a true depression but as you know Im in no place to diagnosis anyone. I'm sure you husband realizes you need some rest too, and is more willing to help than you may realize.
Is the baby okay? Does she eat well and sleep well? Is she having colic? I know that can make things all the more worse. Remember the crying stage begins around 2 weeks and goes away around 6 weeks.
Things will NOT stay this way; this will not last forever. Keep telling yourself that. The baby will begin to sleep all nite and things will get better.
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