Possibly {please} going to Israel

[Talmid HaYarok]

where is blindfaith?

 

[Blindfaith]

Hi Talmid!    I'm here I'm here!!

I had this very long and eloquent post almost ready to send-off into CF cyberland when the power supply to the computer went out and the motherboard decided to fry on Friday. 

So......I forgot what I was going to say by now LOL.  This is the first opportunity I've had to get on the computer .

I've loved what you've written, and I hope everyone keeps coming up with questions, since they're so much for informed than me.

Hugs!

BF

 

[Talmid HaYarok]

Part 3 coming late tonight then. 

 

[Blindfaith]

I have bible study this evening, but I'm usually so jazzed up afterwords, I can't sleep, so I'll be here waiting!

Peace to all & much love,
BF

 

[Blindfaith]

Maybe we can "meet" in the chat room?  Wouldn't that be fun?

I have to tell you, if there isn't a divine intervention, then I won't be going to Israel.  The enemy is doing his darndest to stop me from going.  The bonus check my husband received (exact amount needed), we spent buying our friend Diane (recently widowed) and her children a computer so she can get back to work.  Remember Kraig, P4I?  His wife.  This, we truly and sincerely wanted to do from our hearts, and we're thrilled she has it.

The friends here in Seattle who agreed to go in on it aren't coming through.  1 person gave us a check, in which we were grateful.  This is actually a wonderful experience/test for me, in remaining grateful and joyous, and not letting the root of bitterness sink into me.

Next:  The transmission, on Thursday, decided it wanted to die.  We're picking it up either Thursday night or Friday morning.  Guess how much it costs?  The same exact amount of the trip.

The computer broke down, but hubby fixed it.

 My little one has a rash that the doctors cannot explain.  Her asthma is continuing to cause her problems, after a year of nothing.  This is stressful for me, because I don't like seeing my little ones hurting.

And I'm rejoicing and happy in the fact that I could mean that much to the Lord, that He would chose this unworthy woman to do His will and His work.  That I would be deemed even a minor threat to the enemy, for Christ's Kingdom, that he needs to attack. 

Definitely some food for thought   I'll be praying even more diligently for it to happen, if God wants me to go this year.

Thanks for listening to me ramble!

BF

 

[Talmid HaYarok]

If its the Lord's will, then you'll go. My trip to Israel was nothing but a complete miracle, he was overseeing it every step of the way because not a single thing worked out. For instance my acceptance letter was lost, and I barely got that before I left. My payment was lost and that didn't get cleared out till I was on my plane to Amsterdam. Oh yeah, my luggage got lost too, everything got lost. I also didn't have the money being a poor college student. Everything worked itself out, usually after I'd already made the leap of faith to do it anyways.

Too bad things don't normally work like that, I just fall on my face because the Lord isn't behind it. I can't tell you what I'd do to have an experience like that one again.

Edit: Forgive me, its late. In the morning?

 

[Talmid HaYarok]

MaNishma? (cpmmon hebrew greeting: how is your soul?)

All of preparing to go to Israel was the Lord's will for my life. There is no way with the word of things that went wrong and everything coming through at the last moment that it could have worked. Everything came through on the last possible day. I got the money to pay for school on the day I had to send it off. Some with the money for plane tickets on the day that I needed to buy them. My acceptance notice never came in time, and didn't officially arrive in the U.S. till I was already on my way to Israel. I arrived in Israel missing my suitcase of clothes, not speaking the language, and not having a place to stay.

However, when I got there I could physically feel the spiritual struggle in the land. It was tangible to me about as soon as we landed.

People go expecting nothing but a holy experience and to just get closer to the Lord. However, you'll get much closer to the evil one as well. You'll feel torn in two as spiritual forces wage a devestating war over there. Even just looking at the temple mount felt like Satan and the Archangel Michael were wrestling as two 1000 ton juggernauts on the spot.

Everyone experiences it differently, for me it was a very positive experience, the most positive of my life. I've struggled since then with the relative vacuum of any spiritual feelings. There I was so much more "alive", here I feel like just a shadow of a spiritual being without any meaning. There I felt like I was walking with the Lord like Adam did in the Garden of Eden. Such an incredible and wonderful thing... to have to leave.

Other people experience the very present evil side much more though. For some people it is a constant battle just to get by there. Certainly many people get taken over by deceiving spirits, or deceived themselves, or fall prey to the spirit of hate. Some just have difficulty with the struggle even if they don't fall. Regardless, for all those who I've seen overcome those struggles they've had a great reward and grown unbelievably as a person.

This is something which will need a lot more input from other people since my experience was mostly positive (but required an unbelievable leap of faith that I'm not sure I could do again). Whatever happens, if going is the Lord's will for you then I'm sure the end result will be the most incredible one of your life.

It sounds like this struggle is already starting for you. So take heart and pray about it. Whatever you feel is the Lord's will is what you should do regardless of appearances in your life.

Shalom aleynu, Peace be with you.

 

[Ruhama]

Nope, it's common, I'd say.

 

[Blindfaith]

God is so incredible and faithful!  He just continues to amaze me, and I pray I'll always be in awe of Him. How can anyone not be in love with Him?  {that's not to say I haven't been in my dry times...absolutely}

I feel down to the bottom of my soul that He wants me to go to Israel.  I can't imagine not going.  It is the desire of my heart, and I know that it can't do anything but do wonders for my walk and ministry.  Yes, I absolutely believe that there is a spiritual battle going on in Jerusalem. 

Why wouldn't it?  It's the center of the entire universe!!  There is no place on earth, in my opinion, that is more central or more important.  Praise be to God in the Highest for His mercy, power, glory and omniscience!

The warfare that's going on right now is more than I've posted, but nothing that I cannot handle without the Lord.  This is how I look at it;  this girl here, this unworthy servant, has something to do in the Kingdom plan for the Lord that is important enough for the enemy to attack is a compliment.  So far, anything he's thrown at me isn't major.  I pray that it doesn't hit my children.   I'm staying so focused on the Lord, drawing closer to Him than I ever have before and engraving His Word on my heart that I, with God's help, will be victorious. 

Thanks for the posts everyone!  I love reading what you wonderful, encouraging people write.

Hugs,

BF

 

[Talmid HaYarok]

any update Blindfaith?

I'm reconsidering my application to Grad school in Israel. I'm trying to get work here in the U.S. because I'm dirt poor and don't feel like I have enough direction in my life right now. If you could, then please pray for me.

I'd like to go back to Israel, but only if its the right thing to do at this time. On the other hand, I'd like to have some good employment and a stable income for a while too.