**Possible Trigger** Escape fantasy?

[.Sabre.]

**Trigger Warning**








Does anyone else have "escape" fantasies, or did you? I just want to know if this is common because I used to, and sometimes still do, have fantasies of getting my life secure and sorted, then making myself impossible to find (dye hair, change name, etc.)

 

[Bellicus]

Maybe you should do that if you feel like it?

I have felt like doing the same lots of times, but i don't feel there is a genuine need for it. I just have lots of bad memories and want a fresh start somewhere. Maybe it is really about trying to escape from ourselves and the things that feel bad inside, instead of outside, and then I guess it won't help to try to escape. But if anyone got a actual threat hanging over them, then it must be a relief to get it on a distance.

 

[heidi140]

I've thought about how great it would be to just kind of disappear....to have a new life where I wouldn't have any contact with my parents at all. I've always felt trapped and even distance can't really make me feel better. My counselor is trying to help me to feel like my relationship with my parents can be a choice - that I can decide what I want it to be now.....but my dream would be to have no contact at all with them ever again....which I'll always feel too bad to really follow through on. My escape from it would be to disappear and them not be able to locate me. If it weren't for my job and technical things that prevent it, I'd probably follow through with it. I know I wouldn't be able to escape the pain, but at least I could get away from them.

 

[WhatThe]

I did, .Sabre.. I used to fantasise about being physically abused, so that someone would see it, report it, and take me to a new family.
Heidi140, I understand where you're coming from. I wish the same thing, that I could just have no contact with my mother whatsoever, but she keeps finding ways to get back into my life and hurt me again.

 

[heidi140]

It's good to hear from other people who can relate. I hadn't thought about it from the perspective of the physical abuse. Which is interesting, cause I used to daydream about that all the time when I was younger. I created dreams where I was physically abused or in some situation where a person who I cared about and looked up to could come and protect me and get me out of there. Just having the person protect me was enough usually...so I didn't relate it to the escape part...but I guess it was.

Sometimes it seems like I spent most of my childhood daydreaming about stuff like that. It usually revolved around someone who I wished was my dad...who would act like he cared about me and protect me.

 

[JustMeSee]

Whenever I have escape fantasies, I become overwhelmed with guilt about it hurting the people who love and depend on me.

 

[WhatThe]

I understand you both. I used to write stories about a little girl who was physically abused, and then got taken away to a foster family who looked after her and loved her - but then i'd destroy them so that my mother wouldn't find them. Half not wanting to upset her, half not wanting her to go crazy at me for it.

 

[flying_kiwifruit]

I have escape fantisies all the time, because I still live in the same town and house. I have basically got a escape planned out, and one day I will most likely follow through with it but for now, I will live with the fantasies

 

[annrobert]

I used to imagine living underground with some other children that were also needing care and I would care for them,the underground home was hidden in the woods and the top covered over with grass,so no one would know we were there.When it was safe we would come outside for awhile.When I got older it changed to just wanting to stay away from everyone so no one could hurt me anymore.I used to have nightmares of being chased by my dad on boats roads mountains and hiding from him.thats all for now.bye

 

[Criada]

I have those thought continually.. and have had from the age of about 7.. though they have grown more realistic over the years. I still find myself at the station, fighting the temptation to just get on a train and go somewhere no one can find me..

I think this is fairly common.. but few follow through, because we realise how much hurt it would cause..

 

[.Sabre.]

I'm planning mine out, and most likely will follow through. I'm going away to university in September, and don't think I'll go back home.