Porn issues, and thoughts :/

[nick2014]

Hey guys so im currently strugggling badly with porn and its just all killing me from the inside out i dont know what to do about this, i cant put a filter on the computer because its my parents computer and i really dont want my mom finding out that im going throught this...what should i do!!??

Also i am also dealing with homosexual thoughts and i really dont know what to do with theses...ive had them since 8th grade but i just dont want them in my life i just want them gone!! its like im just stuck dealing with them and their getting in the way with my relationship with christ...what should i do about these 2 issues?? HELP PLEASE!! *desperately asking for prayers too please*

 

[Girder of Loins]

My prayers go out to you. Homosexuality and porn are two huge burdens to overcome, but know that they can be. I'm proof of that. Don't listen to the enemy telling you that you're weak for falling or that it's all too much for you. It's not. Through Christ, all things are possible!

 

[Chilaha]

Hey guys so im currently strugggling badly with porn and its just all killing me from the inside out i dont know what to do about this, i cant put a filter on the computer because its my parents computer and i really dont want my mom finding out that im going throught this...what should i do!!??

Also i am also dealing with homosexual thoughts and i really dont know what to do with theses...ive had them since 8th grade but i just dont want them in my life i just want them gone!! its like im just stuck dealing with them and their getting in the way with my relationship with christ...what should i do about these 2 issues?? HELP PLEASE!! *desperately asking for prayers too please*

Hey man. Sorry to hear your having problems with this. I obviously don't know exactly how you feel but I bet your not feeling too great. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that might actually be a good idea. You don't have to tell them about the homosexual part, but the tell them about your porn struggle. They'll probably appreciate your honesty and I bet they will be willing to do anything to help you. If you absolutely cannot ask them try and find an accountability partner. I struggle with this too, so if you want we can be partners. Try and memorize a Bible verse about lust/sexual immorality. It may help stop you when you go to do that. More than anything, try and be busy and don't be alone at home. That's when trouble starts.
Good luck buddy, (i would pray for you but as of now im not a christian)
Chilaha

 

[Chilaha]

Hey guys so im currently strugggling badly with porn and its just all killing me from the inside out i dont know what to do about this, i cant put a filter on the computer because its my parents computer and i really dont want my mom finding out that im going throught this...what should i do!!??

Also i am also dealing with homosexual thoughts and i really dont know what to do with theses...ive had them since 8th grade but i just dont want them in my life i just want them gone!! its like im just stuck dealing with them and their getting in the way with my relationship with christ...what should i do about these 2 issues?? HELP PLEASE!! *desperately asking for prayers too please*

Hey man. Sorry to hear your having problems with this. I obviously don't know exactly how you feel but I bet your not feeling too great. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that might actually be a good idea. You don't have to tell them about the homosexual part, but the tell them about your p#rn struggle. They'll probably appreciate your honesty and I bet they will be willing to do anything to help you. If you absolutely cannot ask them try and find an accountability partner. I struggle with this too, so if you want we can be partners. Try and memorize a Bible verse about lust/sexual immorality. It may help stop you when you go to do that. More than anything, try and be busy and don't be alone at home. That's when trouble starts.
Good luck buddy, (i would pray for you but as of now im not a christian)
Chilaha

 

[Chilaha]

Hey man. Sorry to hear your having problems with this. I obviously don't know exactly how you feel but I bet your not feeling too great. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that might actually be a good idea. You don't have to tell them about the homosexual part, but the tell them about your p#rn struggle. They'll probably appreciate your honesty and I bet they will be willing to do anything to help you. If you absolutely cannot ask them try and find an accountability partner. I struggle with this too, so if you want we can be partners. Try and memorize a Bible verse about lust/sexual immorality. It may help stop you when you go to do that. More than anything, try and be busy and don't be alone at home. That's when trouble starts.
Good luck buddy, (i would pray for you but as of now im not a christian)
Chilaha

 

[Chilaha]

Hey man. Sorry to hear your having problems with this. I obviously don't know exactly how you feel but I bet your not feeling too great. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that might actually be a good idea. You don't have to tell them about the homosexual part, but the tell them about your p#rn struggle. They'll probably appreciate your honesty and I bet they will be willing to do anything to help you. If you absolutely cannot ask them try and find an accountability partner. I struggle with this too, so if you want we can be partners. Try and memorize a Bible verse about lust/se#ual immorality. It may help stop you when you go to do that. More than anything, try and be busy and don't be alone at home. That's when trouble starts.
Good luck buddy, (i would pray for you but as of now im not a christian)
Chilaha

 

[Chilaha]

Hey man. Sorry to hear your having problems with this. I obviously don't know exactly how you feel but I bet your not feeling too great. I know you don't want to tell your parents but that might actually be a good idea. You don't have to tell them about the homose#ual part, but the tell them about your p#rn struggle. They'll probably appreciate your honesty and I bet they will be willing to do anything to help you. If you absolutely cannot ask them try and find an accountability partner. I struggle with this too, so if you want we can be partners. Try and memorize a Bible verse about lust/se#ual immorality. It may help stop you when you go to do that. More than anything, try and be busy and don't be alone at home. That's when trouble starts.
Good luck buddy, (i would pray for you but as of now im not a christian)
Chilaha

 

[HarborOrange]

^^^ Dude, like quadruple post lol.


But to the OP:

I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with such difficult moral issues. That is never fun... as men, it seems that we all go through this type of stuff at one point in our lives. Some overcome, but many don't. It's sad, really. Especially because it's so easy to find nowadays. It used to be hard- like having to buy a magazine. But know it's a couple clicks of the finger away.
Personally, I never have struggled with porn because the idea of it just disgusts me. However, that's because I'm just predisposed as a very non-sexual person. It's just kind of who I am. So, I was very fortunate in that respect. Yet, that does not go to say that I haven't been tempted numerous times. We all are...
I'm a very musical/artistic person. I love my instruments, and my bizarre bands, and my various forms of art. So, for me, if I was feeling that pull, I always told myself to stand up, walk away from the computer, and go outside to play guitar or take some photographs. Or I would take my notebook and go off into the woods and doodle, or write thoughts/poetry/etc down.
However, I haven't struggled with porn for years because I'm with a woman who I plan to marry sooner or later here. Which makes it easier to quit.
Regardless, those methods helped me incredulously as they distracted me long enough for the urges and temptations to subside. That's what I'd recommend doing. It sounds cliche, but take up a hobby. Or, if you have hobbies you deeply enjoy and are passionate about, do those whenever you feel any urges or have those thoughts come on. That way, you are not only distancing yourself from those practices, but you are also capitalizing on your time and furthering your knowledge and skill in an area.
There would be days were I would have far more urges than normal, and on such days I would literally spend the entire day- sun up to sun down- playing the guitar or writing. It was kind of exhausting, but they were fulfilling days, instead of days I regretted when I laid down at night.

So, that is my word of advice to you. It's an uphill battle, with many possible pitfalls along the way. However... stay away from porn as much as you humanly can. It will literally destroy your life. I know so many young men who are hopelessly bound to it... it is so sad to watch. There are even those out there whose perception of love has warped and twisted so deeply due to their addictions to pornography that they see sex and pleasure as the only means of administering love, or receiving it. It is truly sad, but really it's no surprise. Look at us, we've become an inverted species of "intelligent" and "caring" creatures. Try your best to fight off what society says is totally okay and beneficial. For, the hearts of men are wicked and deceitful. If men tell you to do it, if a collection of men tells you it's okay or good, then it's obviously quite the opposite.

In our hearts, we have all already lost the battle. However, the least you can do is combat it the best you can- whether that be with hobbies or other methods of distance.

Take the approach of Joseph in the story of Potiphar's wife. Instead of loitering about in such murky waters, he booked it out of the situation before it even began. Though he was punished for it by the authorities, he was blessed by the Creator in the end, and he did not commit a perverse and immoral action in the eyes of Adonai.

Blessings.

 

[truthislight]

i dont have the best answer, i am more recently wrapping up my battle with it myself. What i can say though as far as the porn part, dont beat yourself up but be brutal in your fight against the sin itself, completely ruthless. Its like quitting anyhitng really addictive like cigarettes just dont let that sin breathe !
I wish you the best friend !

Stay blessed

 

[robertwigfield]

Here is some of the best advice I've been given. This email came from my church as part of a fast we are doing.

 

[Njmbirder]

The porn part is very hard. Try a podcast called "help me quit porn", it really helped me. As for the homosexuality part, be open, if you feel that God will be OK with it. I have a friend who is gay, and he came out years ago, he has great friends, including me, who don't give a crap about his sexual alignement, he is leading a happy successful life. So follow your heart, it will be Ok.

 

[ChristianT]

You're not alone, a lot of Christians (I'd guess since you have two others here who have gone through the same thing) go through similar things.

I know it's not easy to quit or deal with those things, but like someone earlier said, you don't have some "deadline" you have to meet. Just pray daily and struggle with it, make an effort to do something else rather than whatever causes you to lust. If you do "mess up," don't worry, God isn't here to strike us down when we mess up. He will forgive us, but we must struggle with sin if we wan't to rid of it ever.

You may hear the follow your heart, but the Bible says to guard your heart and not to follow every wind that tries to blow you around. I tend to follow the Bible more. It doesn't forbid feeling, noticing, or thinking about a person of the same gender as if they were the opposite, but it only talks about the act of homosexuality. It doesn't make anything any easier, but you don't need to feel condemned if you feel a certain way.

So while you struggle with sin daily, guard your heart. Read the Bible and learn God's will for your life. It really is helpful to have accountability for the porn, so your parents would be a big help as awkward and uncomfortable as that'd be (it isn't supposed to be easy, dealing with sin isn't really ever easy for anyone, but God promises to lead us the whole way). Don't think a struggle with sin means you'll fail, it's more like a war. You win some battles and you lose some battles, but it's a struggle all the same. From my pastor as we're doing a study on the topic right now, the porn habit or desire doesn't go away after you're married, so if you think that'll fix it...well it won't.

God will never leave you and only wants what's best for you, so I pray that you'll be able to join us in our daily struggle with our sins. May He show you His love each day and have strength as you learn more about yourself.

 

[ellamaejones]

I have never told anyone this before, but I used to struggle with it too. (am I really 'telling' you? lol, it's not like we're face to face) But anyway, I was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I still am kind-of angry at myself, because I knew it was wrong.

Really the one thing that got me away from that sin was I had a crush on a (Christian) guy. (well, I still do.) And every time I wanted to look again at those sinful things, I would remind myself of him and just think to myself "What would he think of me if he knew I saw this?" And also in my mind I knew that it displeased God even more than it would possibly displease any human.

I don't even know why I started. I just wanted to see how normal people acted so I could 'learn' from them.. like how to do things.. But I still hate myself for it. I don't know how this sin in my life could ever "work together for good," but God is good. I will pray for you.

 

[Joshua Breeze]

Here is some of the best advice I've been given. This email came from my church as part of a fast we are doing.

Amen to that.

 

[Chris Blanks]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with either of these things, porn is something that pretty much everyone watches, I wouldn't be surprised if your parents watch it.
Homosexuality is perfectly natural, it is something that is coded in your genes, well in everyone's genes really. You just have to accept yourself for who your are, not what you are told to be.

 

[SilentMatthew]

Honestly as others have said tell your parents and they will probably understand about the porn. If you don't/won't tell them if there is a friend, pastor or role model that is christian that you could trust you could talk to them. They would most likely understand where you are coming from and they might even offer to be an accountability partner or if its a friend help quit together.

As with homosexuality, if you can find a christian pastor, psychologist/counselor to talk about it they might be able to help you with that.
IF your parents are fairly/VERY accepting you might be able to tell them and they might help you, however this could cause more harm then it is worth.
Be warned though I know of people (christian) who have told their parents that they are gay/have homosexual thoughts and this has caused major problems with the parents struggling to accept this.

There are others in the same boat as you. Just know that Christ is always with you

Pray everyday

[BIBLE]Mark:11:24
Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.[/BIBLE]
[BIBLE]2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.[/BIBLE]