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Citizen of the Kingdom

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I'm supposed to be at my kids right now having a great time but I cancelled my weekend b/c I really don't think they want me there. We used to be so close but I feel that they are shutting me out of their lives. I feel like I'm being just tolerated. Also blamed for any childhood malfuctions they may have had.
I don't know if I'm regressing or if I'm just reacting to them b/c I don't even want to go out anymore. I'd rather stay home than face any hurt or humiliation.
And I'm laying the blame on God for not allowing me to conform to their expectations of what I think they think what a mom should be.
The days of manic energy are long gone and all I feel now is lethargic.
I'm really getting tired of it.
Are there others who feel that this condition has curtailed their social activities to non-existant?
 

wonderwaleye

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Dear LivinforChrist


It is not uncommon for bipolars to want to stay to themselves. Young or old.


While meds can really be good they can't make things exactly the same as before it surfaced.


Then you have to take into account the age difference. You no longer have the ability to cope with children as you once did. They don't understand that and it is a cause of friction.


Their wants and activities are different to the extent that we no longer have things in common like when they were growing up.


Sometimes if you just sit down and explain this to them it helps.


BUT I'M SURE YOU LOVE THEM DISPITE WHO THEY HAVE BECOME!!! LOL


REMEMBER:





X Even though you can't see him, GOD is there!!! O
( click on the x and drag to the O ) ( then see who is with you ) steven
 
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Citizen of the Kingdom

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Thank you for the peptalk, wonderwaleye, it's true that I no longer have anything in common with them. Maybe it seems worse b/c I have somewhere that I think I can lay the blame. Jesus is all that keeps me from being alone.
But thanks for reminding me that I'm really not alone in wanting to isolate, somehow knowing that helps.
I'm still struggling with the guilt of knowing that in many ways I have messed up their lives. Perhaps we all are products of someones mistakes. Blame never helps, tho, so life goes on.
 
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Alive again

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Oh yes, I know that feeling. I have been blessed to find the right med to help that feeling go away. So now I know when it is returning it is a sign to get in for a med tune up. I pray tha you will be blessed with the knowledge that the only expectationas you have to live up to are God's, and those expectations are easy, coz Jesus's blood covers it all!!!post or pm anytime!!
 
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These words were PMed and I wanted to share them:
icon10.gif
Some words of Comfort


Did you know that God wants to make a trade with you? He has a standing offer every minute of every day and it's amazing how few of us actually take Him up on His offer. He wants you to give Him all your cares, your problems, and your failures. In return He will give you His peace and joy. On top of that, He promises to protect and take care of you.

God really does want to take care of us, but in order to let Him, we've got to stop trying to take care of ourselves and worrying about every little thing we can't control. Many people would like for God to take care of them, but they insist on worrying or trying to figure out an answer on their own, instead of waiting for God's direction. They wallow around in puddles of their own worry, wondering why God doesn't give them peace. God will give us peace, but we must first give Him our worries.

We give God our worries by trusting that He can and will take care of us. By trusting God, we are able to rest in Him, knowing that He has the situation well under control. Worry, on the other hand, is the opposite of trust. Worry steals our peace, wears us out physically and can even make us sick. If we are worrying, we are not fully trusting God, and we'll never be able to experience His peace.

What a great trade! We give God our worry—He gives us His peace. We give Him all our cares and concerns, and He gives us His protection, stability, and joy. That is the privilege of being cared for by Him.

Because He cares for us, He wants us to live in peace and not all tied up in knots of worry. He has ways of guiding us toward peace, if we are alert enough to sense His direction.

Imagine that you are driving down a road. Along the way, there are roadside signs that provide direction or give warning. If you pay attention to the signs and follow the words, you will be able to drive on that road and safely reach your destination.

In the same way, on the road of life there are spiritual signs along the way. In order to stay under God's protection, you must obey these signs that tell you to trust Him and not to worry. Don't be afraid, have courage. If you'll pay attention to these signs, you'll find that it's easy to stay on course. You will experience the protection, peace and joy that only God can provide.

However, if you fail to heed the signs, you may notice that the road seems a little bumpier than usual and you're not as confident in your ability as you once were. You may become anxious about the unknown things waiting around the corner, and you may even veer off the road.

Anxiety affects us like a double portion of worry. It's an uneasy feeling that lingers like a haze, even after we think we have dealt with it. Once we disregard the signs and go our own way, we are moving in the direction of fear--especially fear of tomorrow and fear of the unknown. The result is anxiety.

Anxiety is like putting on a heavy coat on a hot summer day. It weighs you down. It's difficult to move, and it's stifling to wear. According to Webster's Dictionary, anxiety is "a state of being uneasy, apprehensive, or worried...." Sometimes this uneasiness is really vague—something we just can't put our finger on. All we know is that we are uneasy.

You and I don't need to be anxious about tomorrow when we have all we can handle today. Even if we manage to solve all our problems today, we will just have more to deal with tomorrow...and even more the next day.

Why waste time worrying when it is not going to solve anything? Why be anxious about yesterday, which is gone, or tomorrow, which hasn't arrived yet? Trade your worries in today for God's peace. Remember, everything's going to be all right!
 
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