Urg.
Ok I'm just going to have a bit of a rant right now, they say one of the most effective parts of therapy is just talking it out...helps you to put all the mental blocks together in your head, apparently....
So.
I'm sure all of you are very familiar with the giant crunch that comes after a manic episode, or for all of us of the second type, a hypomanic episode. I rapid cycle a lot, so thought I was used to it, but a couple of months ago got into an epic hm. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome, but about a week ago I hit the ground hard.
Now why is it that as soon as a depression comes in, everything else seems to decide to screw up too? Are my depressions really that bad, are their black holes strong enough that they escape my head and start pulling in the physical world too? Hmmmm...
So here's what happened.
For halloween my boyfriend and I were going to a party about 1.5 hours away from where I live. I was feeling a bit down so was looking forward to getting to this party and picking up the good vibes. I put lots of effort into my costume (a pixie, of course) and we were on our way. About 20 mins from the party black smoke started billowing out from under the hood of my car. Long story short, 7 hours and $111 tow truck bill later, we got back to my place. We never made it to the party, and my car's only real use now is for parts.
Then I went to the denist a couple days later. I hadn't been in about 2 years, the whole 'getting diagnosed with bp, having my life break down and then building it back up' thing sort of made my teeth seem insignificant. So I got there, and now I need about $2000 worth of dental work. I grind my teeth, and have actually started wearing them down (I don't have any points on my canines anymore), so now I have to get this mouth guard thing to wear to bed.....sexy. I have to get 2 fillings urgently and anoher 4 in the next 6 months. Oh and I have a huge phobia of needles. Should be fun!
Then...my folks are on holiday in Bali right now. I'm taking care of my dads pride and joy, his koi pond. So I woke up the other day and went down stairs to feed them only to find 4 dead koi bobbing around in the water....3 of them were his favourites. So I fished out these dead koi (pun not intended), each of them weighing a good 2-4kg each. NOT LITTLE FISHIES. Got an earful on the phone from dad, did some pond tests and basically found out the algae in there had turned poisonous.
Oh did I mention I have exams next week? And no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to pull myself out of this semi-comatose stupor to get some study done? And the stress from all this has given me a cracking tension headache that normal painkillers just can't quell.
Urg. I know I only have to wait it out and this will be over. Thank god I'm on meds or it would be a different story.....probably me curled up in the faetal position bawling my eyes out. Feels good to have a bit of a rant anway.
Cheers;
The Unreal Pixie.
Ok I'm just going to have a bit of a rant right now, they say one of the most effective parts of therapy is just talking it out...helps you to put all the mental blocks together in your head, apparently....
So.
I'm sure all of you are very familiar with the giant crunch that comes after a manic episode, or for all of us of the second type, a hypomanic episode. I rapid cycle a lot, so thought I was used to it, but a couple of months ago got into an epic hm. Don't get me wrong, it was awesome, but about a week ago I hit the ground hard.
Now why is it that as soon as a depression comes in, everything else seems to decide to screw up too? Are my depressions really that bad, are their black holes strong enough that they escape my head and start pulling in the physical world too? Hmmmm...
So here's what happened.
For halloween my boyfriend and I were going to a party about 1.5 hours away from where I live. I was feeling a bit down so was looking forward to getting to this party and picking up the good vibes. I put lots of effort into my costume (a pixie, of course) and we were on our way. About 20 mins from the party black smoke started billowing out from under the hood of my car. Long story short, 7 hours and $111 tow truck bill later, we got back to my place. We never made it to the party, and my car's only real use now is for parts.
Then I went to the denist a couple days later. I hadn't been in about 2 years, the whole 'getting diagnosed with bp, having my life break down and then building it back up' thing sort of made my teeth seem insignificant. So I got there, and now I need about $2000 worth of dental work. I grind my teeth, and have actually started wearing them down (I don't have any points on my canines anymore), so now I have to get this mouth guard thing to wear to bed.....sexy. I have to get 2 fillings urgently and anoher 4 in the next 6 months. Oh and I have a huge phobia of needles. Should be fun!
Then...my folks are on holiday in Bali right now. I'm taking care of my dads pride and joy, his koi pond. So I woke up the other day and went down stairs to feed them only to find 4 dead koi bobbing around in the water....3 of them were his favourites. So I fished out these dead koi (pun not intended), each of them weighing a good 2-4kg each. NOT LITTLE FISHIES. Got an earful on the phone from dad, did some pond tests and basically found out the algae in there had turned poisonous.
Oh did I mention I have exams next week? And no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to pull myself out of this semi-comatose stupor to get some study done? And the stress from all this has given me a cracking tension headache that normal painkillers just can't quell.
Urg. I know I only have to wait it out and this will be over. Thank god I'm on meds or it would be a different story.....probably me curled up in the faetal position bawling my eyes out. Feels good to have a bit of a rant anway.
Cheers;
The Unreal Pixie.
