Poems

[ToriL90]

I usually write songs, but I have a small collection of poems, and I wanted to post them here and get some opinions. I can take criticism, so PLEASE be 100% honest with me on your thoughts. And if you want to post any of your stuff, that'd be great, too.

These are all of my poems at this point:

What is Music?

We all search for Love
From a friend or from a lover
Music searches for Love
Just like any other


Music is the feelings
Of the soul that writes it down
Aimless in search of direction
Thought in search of sound


Music is a universe
Whose fingers touch our own
To give us some small sense
Of its brilliant unknown


The voice that will not quiet
Inspires the lonely song
To come down from its universe
And give hope where hope is gone


The melody moves through you
It's not just what you hear
It moves your heart, through your veins
It can move the deafened ear


Sometimes, Music finds its Love
Sometimes, it falls off its path
Like all else, Love begets Music
Even when Love turns to Wrath


So finally, what is Music?
The seamless expression of souls
Music makes beautiful
The joys and sorrows this world holds

Chasing the Waves

When I was a child
Running on the beach
I declared, in childlike naivety
"The waves are not chasing me


"I'm chasing the waves"
Back into the ocean, I believed
Conquer the world one wave at a time
And soon I will conquer the sea


I've since grown wiser
In the clock's foolish beat
But I still chase the waves
And the waves will never chase me

The Conductor

God creates the feelings
Placed inside your heart
The feelings sway the mind
And then become the thought


Thoughts transform to words
Symbols to express moods
They fall into the fingers
And inspire them to move


From here, the lifeless conductor
Is taken by your hand
Emotion is passed through
And life is writ on your pad

Overdramatic Teen

Maybe I am just an overdramatic teen
Maybe some of this pain, I'm bringing on me
Maybe if I were older, stronger - wiser, perhaps
I wouldn't be on this strange street with no map

Maybe if I weren't such a silly young fool
I'd have the answers; I'd know better what to do
Be independent; free of circumstances
Able to cope; unafraid of taking chances

Maybe I am just an overdramatic teen
Don't know the roads; have yet to drive the streets
When I'm older, will these words seem foolish, too?
When I've figured it out, and know what to do

Let Me Run/Magician

Let me run, far away from here
Let me make my past disappear
Like a magician, with slight of hand
But I create things I don't understand

As an amateur in this game of life
I create your pleasure with my magical knife
But I lose my grip, and cut my own hands
Creating these things I don't understand

Just like the rabbit pulled out of the hat
I'm placed here unwitting; I'm unsure how to act
No magician can make this disappear
So let me run; far, far from here

At This Point

At this point, what can I do?
At this point, it's not my issue
At this point, I cannot decide
Whether to stay, or whether to hide


At this point, it's coming back to me
Pain and despair I thought I could leave
At this point, we've made some progress
From desperate to coolly depressed


At this point, I choose for my pain
To be made beautiful once again
For at this point, it's out of my hands
But I can speak to those who might understand

Voice

It seems there's hope after all
Though all our dreams seem to fall
It finally seems peace has found me
For days I've struggled just to breathe

It seems this tunnel ends with light
I finally crawled out tonight
I found the courage through my tears
To use the voice I've so long feared

I found my voice within her words
To speak the wisdom I once heard
When her faith faltered in her pain
Her words, through me, came to heal her again

Her voice echoes in my head
Wise philosophies nearly dead
We all need them in this life
If only we'd all end our pride

Parallel world

I do believe in a parallel world
Which we can visit only in our dreams
A world of perfection, where all dreams come true
And there is no price for peace

Where we needn't worry about sin
It has all been cast down from there
Away from that world, down to our own
As a burden this world must bear

Where we needn't be bothered
By one's rank or by their class
But love is all it takes
To shatter the wall of glass

And in this world, you are with me
So real, I can feel your touch
When I close my eyes, I am in that world
And you are the one I love

EDIT: Added two more poems, corrected typos, etc.

 

[Audiomechanic]

Wow! Very good poems! I have writen a few too but when I was your age (oh Lord, I can't believe I said that!), my poems were much darker and filled with disturbing hopless images. Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to just write a poem, I have to be inspired and my inspirations are becoming few and far between.

Keep it up! Very good work!

 

[Lubiana]

I liked Chasing the Waves best- nice!

 

[BrEnDiNo99]

Bravo!!!!!!bravo

 

[curlyblue]

I liked "What is music?" the best It was beautifully written.

 

[ToriL90]

Thank you all for the compliments. Does anybody know any poetry sites where I could publish them (w/out having to pay... I'm cheap! )?

 

[ToriL90]

I just added my other two poems to the first post, so it's a complete list of them now.

 

[Lubiana]

My friend publishes poems, artwork and stories for free- would you like to check it out? It's a publication called elves of Camelot- you can read a bit more about it at www.eldanore.com.

 

[ToriL90]

Thanks, I'll check it out.

 

[Tattered]

You could also check out Eratosphere which is part of Ablemuse Critical Review. In Eratosphere you can get critical feedback for your poetry/lyrics ... personally I think your work would fit in there very well. They are all about metrical poetry. Good luck and God bless

I'm a member there, but haven't submitted anything in a looooooong time.

 

[ToriL90]

Thanks for the links. I posted on the first one. The last two look good, except they want people who are well-read in poetry, and... I'm not. But thanks a lot for those links, both of you.