Guys, I am in love with a guy. He seemed to be everything I ever wanted in a man. We clicked and it was all nice. Until someday he called me and told me some woman was pregnant with his baby, the problem was he as excited about it. I spoke to him about it and we broke up, and lost contact. A few months later, he contacted me again and told me he has problems with his so called"girl friend". apparently the baby he was all raving about is not his, since he found out from a doctor that he has a developmental problem, if u know what I mean. He told me that the reason that he came back to me, was not because he has problems, but because he realised he made a big mistake and he wants to start thing again with me. I felt sorry for him. I know, call me stupid. We got it together for a while. Until one day he came to me and told me he is still in love with the other woman and wants to raise her child as his own. I told him to go ahead since I cant make any1 love me if they dont. Now he acts like things are fine between us, and that I should be fine with it. guys, my problem is I love this guy. I know he is taking me for a ride, but what can I do. I doesn't help talking to him, cos I am just gonna end up being hurt. I just do not know what to do. He calls me everyday, sends me emails, and wants to come to my place all the time...I am really confused. I know this is really bad for me. But I am in love with this guys
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Pliz help
- Thread starter petram
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EmSchmem
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What? The baby is not his because it has development problems? That is about the dumbest thing I've ever heard. In all honesty I think you need to look at waht you are saying. This guy, flat out, is a jerk. Cut off on contact with him and heal your heart. ASk him to stop calling and stop taking his calls if he will not. Ignore his emails and tell him not to come over. This guy is nothing but trouble and can only bring you down. I am not ignoring your feelings. I understand your hurt, but you need not allow the hurt at his hands to continue.
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Thank you for your response. It means a lot to me. This problem has been eating me up, emotionally. I know this guy is bad news, It's just too hard for me to leave him. But I guess there is no better time to leave him than the present.Thanx
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Maybe if you pray about it? There's no way God wants you with this guy, so if you ask Him, he'll help you get out of it. But you have to ask!
I also agree... "developmental problems" have been had by too many potential fathers lately... that's a bunch of BS, more than likely. It will never work when he's trying to make you jelous of this other girl, babe. That just sucks.
I also agree... "developmental problems" have been had by too many potential fathers lately... that's a bunch of BS, more than likely. It will never work when he's trying to make you jelous of this other girl, babe. That just sucks.
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Carri20
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Ouch! I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I've been hurt by a guy I loved, too. But I found a way through it and I share it with everyone I meet who's experiencing your kind of pain...
First of all you should know that for this to work you have to trust in God completely. Trust that he wants what's best for you. Trust that he wants to take away the pain and help you move forward. Do you believe this? Then go before God one-on-one, somewhere private where you can concentrate 100% of your energy on him. (The shower works for me.) Once you're there, begin to praise God. Then tell him about your circumstances and everything you're feeling, even though he already knows. Then take the pain, and the circumstances, and hand them over to God. Tell him they're his to do whatever he wants with. Give him total control. This is where the trust comes in, because you'll be tempted to take back control and try to deal with the circumstances yourself. But if you refrain from doing that and just let God keep them, he will heal your heart and direct you in the way you should go. I've done this many times and escaped heartaches and circumstances I never would have been able to survive on my own.
After you do this, if you feel the need to break contact with this guy, do it. If you feel the need to minister to him, do it. God is directing you. Trust what his spirit is doing.
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shakingthedustoffmyfeet
Goodbye
I agree with Carri20. You have to trust God totally in this situation. He does not want to see His children hurt. God knows our value better than we sometimes understand it.
I think that some counseling might help you with insight regarding your feelings for this dude. Do you know of a Christian counselor with whom you can meet?
This is a link about chosing a Christian counselor. I am sorry for the pain you feel.
http://www.familylife.com/articles/article_detail.asp?id=418
I think that some counseling might help you with insight regarding your feelings for this dude. Do you know of a Christian counselor with whom you can meet?
This is a link about chosing a Christian counselor. I am sorry for the pain you feel.
http://www.familylife.com/articles/article_detail.asp?id=418
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AngylBelle
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I am sorry to say that I agree with most of the posters. No matter how much in love you think you are, it is best to just keep away from this man. He has already hurt you twice, why torture yourself anymore? I know how hard it is to love some one who does not love you back and I know how hard it is to move on...but this is what you need to do. If you keep in contact with this guy, you are only teasing yourself because you will always be thinking in the back of your mind, what if..., and it seems to me that so far he enjoys stringing you along. He obviously knows how you feel about him and knows that, at the moment, no matter what he does to you, you'll always be there. How can you fathom being with a person whom you know would not, 1) go to the ends of the earth to make you happy, 2) love you unconditionally, and 3) follow/help you in your walk ... the Lord seems to be the furthest thing from his mind. I cannot tell you what to do, nor do you have to listen to what I suggest. Pray about it...if you listen with an honest and true heart, you will be guided out of this mess. Good luck, and God Bless.
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Petram, Love is not enough. You have the emotion of love for him but he doesn't truly have it for you. Please do not humiliate yourself this way. He knows he can fall back on you. There is no place for this relationship to go. If you marry, he will cheat on you and you'll probably take him back over and over again.
Are you having sex with him? Please don't do that. What if you become the next woman who has his baby? Then you'll be the woman on the other side of your story.
How do you keep yourself from talking to him? If you are serious, truly serious and not going to give in to your desperate side, you change your email (or block his email) and you change your phone number (or block his phone number). Then you don't open the door to him. If you are not strong enough to do this but recognize you must to get your dignity back, have a friend stay with you for some time. Let them send him away and answer the phone.
I hope you will treat yourself like the woman of God you are and not like the throw-away woman he is treating you like. Even if he says "I love you. You're the only one for me. I've made such a mistake!" remember that these are lies. A man who loves you would not leave you over and over again. That is not love and you know it.
God bless,
M*
Are you having sex with him? Please don't do that. What if you become the next woman who has his baby? Then you'll be the woman on the other side of your story.
How do you keep yourself from talking to him? If you are serious, truly serious and not going to give in to your desperate side, you change your email (or block his email) and you change your phone number (or block his phone number). Then you don't open the door to him. If you are not strong enough to do this but recognize you must to get your dignity back, have a friend stay with you for some time. Let them send him away and answer the phone.
I hope you will treat yourself like the woman of God you are and not like the throw-away woman he is treating you like. Even if he says "I love you. You're the only one for me. I've made such a mistake!" remember that these are lies. A man who loves you would not leave you over and over again. That is not love and you know it.
God bless,
M*
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