please things are getting desperate

[jayebrownlee]

I often feel bad about posting so many request for prayer here, but I have two areas of my life in desperate need of prayer.

The first is because of my illness. I have a lot of psychiatiric problems and just recently I have been getting worse. I get halluciantions and flashbacks and they are getting worse. I get them anything up to 7 or 8 times a day and they are so real that I have even mistaken my fiancé for my brother (who abused me as a child and has raped me as recently as a few months ago). I am under the care of may professionals, but apparantly there is nothing more they can do for me, so I guess I just need to leave it in the hands of God now. The only fear I have is that I have frequently tried to kill myself in the past and I am scared that I will try again, and even worse that I might be succesful. Every day my fiancé has no choice but to go to work and this leaves me alone and scared.

The next request is in some ways more serious. I am engaged to a beautiful man and we are getting married in August of next year. We are both Christian and want to wait until we marry untill we have sex, however last night we were very weak, we did NOT actually have sex, but we were very close. Please pray that we have the strength to keep holding on until we are married as we want to keep this relationship right with God.

Please pray for these things because I/we are struggling by ourselves.

Bless you all

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[forjesus]

Praying for your strength and well being. Your brother needs to be exposed for his actions. Please don't let him destroy you anymore. Does you fiance' know about this abuse?

 

[jayebrownlee]

My fiancé knows all about it and is a great tower of strength to me. Whenever I pray I thank God for sending him into my life. I knoiw I would not be alive today if were not for Sandy and the help he has given me over the last months that we have been together.

I have thought many times about exposing my brother but I have come to the conclusion that it would be more damaging ion the long run. There are many very complicated factors contributing to this.

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[GraftMeIn]

I will be keeping you in my prayers

 

[carmen]

praying for you Jay.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Praying for you Jay!

 

[Blindfaith]

Oh Jay, my heart just hurts for you!! 

Lord Jesus,

I pray that you give Jay your sustaining strength, to see her through this very difficult time.  I pray Lord, that you give her release from these hallucinations, and protect her from the evil one that seeks to hurt her.  Father, you are good and mighty, I pray that you Counsel her, give her your strength and your love.  I pray Lord, that you give her and Sandy the strength to abstain until their marriage ~ the rewards are tremendous!  Father, please keep Jay safe from all harm.

I pray this in your name Jesus,

Amen.

Jay, if you ever want to talk, pm me, okay?

Love,

Terri

 

[aaron]

I will pray for you.

 

[ZiSunka]

Praying for you Jay! We all know what it's like to struggle and we're holding you up to the Lord in prayer!

 

[spirituality]

you are in my prayers!

Originally posted by jayemcintyre
I often feel bad about posting so many request for prayer here, but I have two areas of my life in desperate need of prayer.

The first is because of my illness. I have a lot of psychiatiric problems and just recently I have been getting worse. I get halluciantions and flashbacks and they are getting worse. I get them anything up to 7 or 8 times a day and they are so real that I have even mistaken my fiancé for my brother (who abused me as a child and has raped me as recently as a few months ago). I am under the care of may professionals, but apparantly there is nothing more they can do for me, so I guess I just need to leave it in the hands of God now. The only fear I have is that I have frequently tried to kill myself in the past and I am scared that I will try again, and even worse that I might be succesful. Every day my fiancé has no choice but to go to work and this leaves me alone and scared.

The next request is in some ways more serious. I am engaged to a beautiful man and we are getting married in August of next year. We are both Christian and want to wait until we marry untill we have sex, however last night we were very weak, we did NOT actually have sex, but we were very close. Please pray that we have the strength to keep holding on until we are married as we want to keep this relationship right with God.

Please pray for these things because I/we are struggling by ourselves.

Bless you all

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[jayebrownlee]

Thank you all and may God truly bless you all for helping in my time of need

 

[fieldmouse3]

I just prayed for you....don't feel bad about asking us for prayer when you need it! That's what we're here for.

 

[SeRapH&CheRi]

  You are loved here Jay and we will continue to cover you in prayer.   

 

[Blindfaith]

How are you doing Jay?  Please keep us posted, so we can continue in our prayers for you.  You are cared for here

 

[jayebrownlee]

Well the hallucinations are still present, although the weekend is normally better as they happen less often when i am around people and on Saturday and Sunday I can spend all day with my fiancé and his family.

As redards the not having sex we are doing much better, we had prayed about it and since then we have been managing really well.

Thank you for asking though

Your sister in Christ

Jay

 

[Mr.Cheese]

*hug*
You are my little sister and I love you.

I spent the summer recovering from severe clinical depression. I can't imagine what you are going through. I had a cousin with delusions and bipolar disorder. She killed herself. It hurt my mom really bad. They were close. I miss her.
You have a man that loves you and wants to marry you and we love you here. Remember that. You can unload on us whenever you need to.

As far as messing around. You're not alone in that department.
It's worth the wait though.

 

[Quiet Storm]

I just prayed for you. Something tells me that everything will be alright. I've personally been supernaturally delivered from a psychiatric illness, and if God will do it for me, He'll do it for ANYbody!!! I'll also say a special prayer for you and your fiance. We all know how sexual temptation can be, but I admire you and your fiance for you all's passion to be pleasing in God's eyes. Trust me: I believe if you just stay strong until the marriage is final, He won't forget it and will bless you two abundantly. We're praying and believing in God for you!!

 

[natchraly]

Jay,

There cannot be a valid reason for not exposing your brother. You may think there is in order to not create a problem for certain people (probably other family members), but hiding it will only make it worse. People like him need to be stopped from hurting others.

 

[jayebrownlee]

Originally posted by natchraly
Jay,

There cannot be a valid reason for not exposing your brother. You may think there is in order to not create a problem for certain people (probably other family members), but hiding it will only make it worse. People like him need to be stopped from hurting others.

I have thought about this long and hard and here are the summarised reasons for keeping it quiet.

1. My mother would call me a liar, and that would hurt me more than you could ever imagine.

2. Despite the fact the rational part of me knows it wouldn't be my fault, I would blame myself when my brother and my Dad stopped talking and I would never be able to forgive myself for that.

3. I have thought and prayed about this and I truly believe that he is not doing it to anyone else.

4. I am old enogh to deal with this myself now and enogh people know that I feel safe even when around him.

your sister in Christ

Jay