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Please tell me if I'm wrong

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Avniel

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I was speaking in general of the attitude of putting our kids before our spouse. I don't think that's a good mindset, and I don't think it is healthy for the kids.

This sounds like a one-off things when she was out of the room. She doesn't seem to think her child is in danger, and the CPS person took it that way. If I were a husband in the same situation, I'd hate it for my wife to have a list of grievances with that thing on it.

Not to mention the behavior wasn't a hibitual thing he might have felt bad and ashamed he hurt his child and knows his wife holds it against him. As a child I was abused my abuse was constant I wish it would have been a one time break in character.
 
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Hetta

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I'm not talking about any specific person. If I were, and naming names, it might be gossip. If that's gossip though, how could we be giving this advice to Helpme without gossipping, since we are addressing her husband's situation. He isn't even here.

I'm not talking about my wife. My wife has gone through major PMS or post-partum stuff where she doesn't have the same feelings for me as normal. So, yes, I can say a husband has to keep in mind that feelings can go up in down in mind if his wife says she is unhappy, especially if it is a one-off thing. Men's emotions go up and down, too, like the waves of the sea, but women's emotions are like waves during a hurricane. Of course, it depends on the person. Some men may experience more emotional extremes than their wives.

If we men get used to our wives feeling great one day, and lousy the next, telling us how good we are one week, and being displeased with us the next, then, yes, we learn to take these comments with a grain of salt. You have to to get an overall picture of what's going on.

Sometimes you can do what's right and people in your own family may not be too happy about it. There are higher goals than temporary happiness to consider. I've got to make myself do things that don't make me that happy sometimes, too.

The Bible says to be content with such things as ye have. A lot of people are looking for 'greener grass' somewhere else. Our emotional issues aren't always our spouse's fault. We need to learn to find peace and contentment in the Lord.

I can relate to the idea of a man being blindsided by a wife wanting a divorce even though she said she wasn't happy at some point in the past, though. There are an awful lot of people who decide to get divorced based on their feelings without any good Biblical reasons, both men and women.
Again, if those people aren't here to give both sides of their story, they really should be discounted.
 
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Hetta

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Whoever this man who was "blindsided by a wife wanting a divorce" - I have no idea to know whether this is true. Perhaps there many things he did not tell about the marital situation.

These wives "feeling great one day,. lousy the next, telling us how good we are one week, and being displeased the next .." I want to hear their side of the story also.
 
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Helpme22

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Well my husband wouldn't/shouldn't be blindsided by that news. I spoke about divorce/separation just 2 months ago and he said we couldn't afford it.

The time prior to all of this .. He threatened suicide and I felt awful. So I didn't pursue it. But when I went back and said lets work it out... (after suicidal threats) he said "oh ok. That's good.". He seemed totally unphased
 
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mkgal1

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Children rely on us, as parents, to protect them.....guide them.....love them. If one parent is an obstacle to that, then the welfare of the child *should* come above the "feelings" of the other parent.
 
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LinkH

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Whoever this man who was "blindsided by a wife wanting a divorce" - I have no idea to know whether this is true. Perhaps there many things he did not tell about the marital situation.


I'm speaking in generalities, here. There are lots of blogs about divorce and lots of comments on those blogs from men who felt blindsided by it. There are also plenty of Internet posts along the same lines in forums like these. I'm not talking about just one case.
 
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mkgal1

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I'm speaking in generalities, here. There are lots of blogs about divorce and lots of comments on those blogs from men who felt blindsided by it. There are also plenty of Internet posts along the same lines in forums like these. I'm not talking about just one case.

I don't think these generalities really are any benefit here. They have nothing to do with the thread. It's rude to Helpme. She has already posted that she's talked to her husband (repeatedly) about her needs, concerns, fears.....and he's not responded with cooperation (IOW----he's been taking that with a grain of salt---as you have suggested men should). He wouldn't (or shouldn't) be blindsided.....as she has already posted.
 
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