Please pray.

[ukok]

Please pray for my son, Joseph. He is 8 years old and he is being bullied repeatedly at school. The same boy has bullied him, off and on for more than 2 years. Everytime i think we have things under control, my son comes home with another bruise. The headteacher is appallingly bad at taking such things seriously and i have this evening spent hours typing up a letter that i shall put on her desk in the morning ( 2300 words or there abouts!). My son's dad and i are doing our best to make a united stance against the continuance of this behaviour, he is continually going to school to try to see the headteacher, but she will not see him, and i continually write letters of complaint, demanding action be taken against the bully.( which is ignored).

the headteacher told my son on Friday, that he shouldn't tell his dad what goes on at school~ she doesn't like it when he pays her a visit!

I would greatly appreciate it if any of you could just spare a few moments out of your day to say a prayer for this situation to be resolved for my son. Joseph is such a wonderful little boy, it really breaks my heart when he pleads with me to not make him go to school.

I am seriously considering withdrawing my son from the school, the only fear is that the places in the Catholic schools are in such high demand, that i may not be able to get him into one. Though his sister attends a Catholic high school and by the time he is to go to High School he will be officially Catholic-i want him in sooner!

I am seeing my priest tomorrow evening with the children, we started catechesis for the children last week, they adore Fr. David, he has such a way with children ( he used to be a teacher apparantly). I am thinking about asking Fr. David to wite a letter outlining our intention to be received into the Catholic Faith at Easter Vigil. perhaps i could take it with me to the Catholic Schools in my locality.

Thank you all so very much, it means so very much for me to be able to reach out to you at such an upsetting time.

 

[Aaron-Aggie]

 

[Veritas]

I most certainly will be praying for your son and this situation. Having been a victim of a bully (yes, even girls do that sort of thing) when I was 9-10 years old, I understand very well the fear and apprehension he's going through. I also had a problem with the teacher and even my parents taking me seriously. I wouldn't go out for recess because I knew this big, mean girl would be waiting for me. I think because we were girls, the teacher just didn't believe that this happened. My mother, though somewhat sympathetic did nothing. My only salvation came from my friend who stuck up for me. She would walk to and from school with me and defend me. I've never forgotten her courage and kindness and I've asked God to bless her. This only went on for a year because my family moved. Imagine my horror when I ended up at middle school 3 years later and there was my tormenter! By then though, she had outgrown her evil ways. But that experience has never left me.

I don't know what your laws are like there, but in the states parents can homeschool their children. If that's an option for you at least on a temporary basis, I'd go for it. When you do the teaching, you not only have control over the content of what he's learning, you control the environment. You son could run around and play a little bit every hour (good for boys) and then focus better on his studies. My sister homeschools her 7 children and they are more advanced than most public school children at the same grade. They are also sweet (mostly!) and well-behaved. They also go a couple days a week to a co-op school which functions like a group homeschool. My only reservation with that arrangement is that the co-op is very anti-Catholic and the programs I've gone to have been painful.

Ukok, if there's one thing I'd have done differently when I went through this, it's this: I would have stood up to the bully and let her know that I wasn't going to take it. The truth is, bullies are chickens who have low self-worth. When you fight back, they almost always leave you alone after that. Some end up even becoming friends. (Maybe take your son to martial arts classes to build up his courage and confidence!) Anyway, I wish you the best and I'll definitely be praying

 

[KennySe]

Ukok, I will certainly pray for your family, and that of the the bully.

***

My dad once told me of the time that a neighbor's son threw a rock at another neighbor's son, and the rock hit the boy in the face near the eye.

The father of the hurt boy BURST into the other boy's home while the family was having dinner, and said something about the rock throwing, and that if it EVER happened again, HE would rectify the situation.

Sometimes, we must speak to bullies in terms that they understand.

 

[geocajun]

you got it!

 

[Dark_Lite]

If the headteacher is doing something like this, take the situation to the authority above her, whatever it may be.

 

[Acceptance]

That stinks! Kids can be so mean. I'll for sure say a prayer for you and your son.

 

[artnalex]

Why not talk to the bullies parents?

Also, let the teacher know that any unwillingness on her part to help remedy the situation wil not go unnoticed if the school district or principal needs to be notified.

 

[ej]

Joseph will definitely be in my prayers.
(he shares my brother's name, which makes him even more special to me)

Make enquiries about the Catholic school.
1 - You don't have to be Catholic to attend them
2 - Exceptions are made for special circumstances like these.

It's a tragedy for any young person to be bullied - physically or mentally. It can affect their whole life. I'm sure Joseph knows how much he is loved, but he needs to have this situation rectified as soon as possible.

 

[nyj]

Ukok,

When I was your sons age I was extremely small for my size. I got picked on a lot. It was even in a Catholic school. One day, after coming home with yet another black eye, my mom sat down with me and gave a talk.

In that talk she told me that people do mean things for many reasons, but usually it is because they are hurting inside and it makes them feel better to push that onto other people. However, she said, that I shouldn't have to accept that sort of punishment because their own lives were not contentful. Therefore, she told that if this happened again, I would be fully justified in fighting back. She showed me how to make a fist, and how to punch back. She told me that the next time I was bullied, I was to fight them with the best of my ability, and as fairly as possible, but to give it all I got.

A few days after this talk, I was faced with one of the regular bullies of the school. Right in front of my house. The commotion got kind of loud and I saw my mother standing in the door. I made to run inside (to avoid the fight) but I saw her shake her head and say "Remember what I told you." So, I turned around and wound up getting into a fight. Wound up with a nice cut on my head (when I got thrown down onto the concrete) but after that, I wasn't bullied anymore by him. I guess they figured that if I was going to fight back, I was too much of a hassle and too much of a risk. Bullies like to fight people they know they run no risk of being harmed by. After repeating the process with a couple of the other bullies, I never had to fear being bullied again, even though I was a small kid.

Now, maybe that's just a New Yorker way of handling things, but I don't think there is anything wrong with you telling and teaching your son to stand up for himself. There is a clear difference between instigating a fight and standing up for yourself. Personally, I think being made to stand up for myself taught me a valuable lesson in self-confidence and self-respect as well. Just another opinion to consider.

PS: I'll pray for your boy.

 

[Michelina]

I will be praying for Joseph, the bully, the teacher and you.

My prayer will be to St Joseph, the Guardian of Our Lord.

 

[ej]

Tom's story is the opposite to mine

I was always popular at school and with friends - I got bullied at home. If I could, I'd join a club or go to friends' houses just to be away from home for a few more hours. I dreaded going home because no matter what I did, I'd be punished.

Joseph is blessed that he has a peaceful and loving home-life.
that the strength and love he has at home carries him through the hard times at school.

 

[Rosa Mystica]

Dear Ukok,

So sorry to hear of your son's ill-treatment by this other mean-spirited little boy. When I was growing up, I was "the outcast" at school (though I was bullied emotionally for the most part). I was also, as ej puts it, "bullied at home" (still am, for that matter). I will definitely be praying for your son. No one deserves to be treated in this way.

Rosa

 

[Col]

Dear ukok,
you seem worried that your son will not be approved of, which is very sad. Are you sure there is a requirement to be Catholic to attend a Catholic School?. I ask this as in Australia there is not such requirement. Infact the overwhelming majority of students at Catholic schools here are not Catholic, actually alot are not even Christian or religious at all. Catholic and other Christian centered private schools are favoured here for their superior educational performances, discipline, moral and ethical codes and value systems. These are things that are sadly lacking in the Public School system. As the community becomes more secular and politically correct, boudraries for children to live by seem to be disappearing and parents are willing to make the financial sacrifice to ensure their children get the best start in life. This is not to say that the Public school system is all bad as "I is a produkt of it and it never dun me no bad and I lerned reel good" . I had to put my son's name on a register for a Private school (with a non-refundable deposit, by the way) when he was 1 year old as there is a six year waiting list for admittance, and he will not be offered a place until a year prior. Anyway back to my original thought as I was saying, if you were in Australia you would simply have to apply to a school somewhere, and notwithstanding a long waiting list, you would be accepted no matter what your religion is. There is no discrimination in Christian schools here, everyone is welcome. I know this doesnt' help you in the UK but I was just saying that maybe you might not need Church approval to educate your son.
If I were in your shoes and if my little fella were to be bullied continually, I do not think I would hesitate to move schools even if I had to move suburbs or states to do it. I know what it is like to feel intimidated and bullied at school and would not make him go through it for anything in the world.
I will pray for you
Bless Ya
Col <><

 

[AngelAmidala]

Ukok....I didn't see this thread until just now.

I will definitely keep Joseph in my prayers...as well as you, Joseph's father, and all involved in this.

 

[BAChristian]

I just said a little prayer for you and Joseph. May God bring peace to your family...

 

[ProCommunioneFacior]

Ukok,

I am so sorry to hear this. I will pray for Joseph and all of those involved.

 

[Miss Shelby]

ukok,

Praying. My heart is breaking for your son, he sounds so sweet. I'll be praying.

Michelle

 

[Dominus Fidelis]

Ukok, I will certainly pray for your family, and that of the the bully.

***

My dad once told me of the time that a neighbor's son threw a rock at another neighbor's son, and the rock hit the boy in the face near the eye.

The father of the hurt boy BURST into the other boy's home while the family was having dinner, and said something about the rock throwing, and that if it EVER happened again, HE would rectify the situation.

Sometimes, we must speak to bullies in terms that they understand.

Oh heck yes...

UKOK perhaps a confrontation with the other kid's parents is in order?

 

[JillLars]

Praying for your son UKOK