please pray

[blackribbon]

Actually, keeping as close to a "normal" routine is best for kids because it gives them some relief from the pain and lets them know that life goes on. One of my widow friends said his daughter requested to go to school after her mother's funeral because it was "field day". So he took her there instead of going to the post funeral gathering. I believe she was 9 and had a very good relationship with her mom.

My neighbor told my 10 year old that she was "evil" because she was playing out in our front yard with her friends the week after my husband died. He told her she shouldn't be happy. Luckily, she came crying to me and I just sent her back outside to play and be happy because daddy would have wanted her to. Just like it was okay to be sad, it is okay to be happy, too. Kids grieve differently than adults...though a 13 year old probably grieves like an adult. But truthfully, most people do return to works/school the day after funerals...everyone except the spouse.

And do keep praying for him. He is at a very hard age to process this all.

 

[Doctor Strangelove]

Ooh that story makes me mad, that some nosy adult would tell a 10 year old child that she was "evil." There are some adults who seem to live to crush the spirits of children. That is a form of bullying. I don't know how many negative messages I had to absorb and figure out how to deal with when I was growing up, and there was usually no healthy adult to help me.

 

[blackribbon]

I think he was in shock that my husband had really died. My husband and he would stand out in the yard and talk periodically. He was of a Hispanic culture that believes that noisy grief is how you show love. I didn't know him very well and maybe he didn't realize how much we loved Billy. I believe they showed up to the funeral but I am sure I didn't behave as they thought I should either. They never hardly acknowledged me after Billy died though our kids played together....but I think he started drinking a lot and the wife didn't speak much English. I am a big defender in allowing people to grieve their own way and on their own time schedule.

My husband probably would have knocked his block off for saying that to our daughter.

 

[bobross]

I think he was in shock that my husband had really died. My husband and he would stand out in the yard and talk periodically. He was of a Hispanic culture that believes that noisy grief is how you show love. I didn't know him very well and maybe he didn't realize how much we loved Billy. I believe they showed up to the funeral but I am sure I didn't behave as they thought I should either. They never hardly acknowledged me after Billy died though our kids played together....but I think he started drinking a lot and the wife didn't speak much English. I am a big defender in allowing people to grieve their own way and on their own time schedule.

My husband probably would have knocked his block off for saying that to our daughter.

Hugs blackribbon. That is so sad

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

When my husband died, it was a Sunday. I sent them to school the next day because we had to go make funeral arrangements and I didn't want to take them and I didn't want them sitting around with nothing to do but think about how sad they were. They didn't resist either. If either one of them had said, they didn't want to go, then I probably would have let them stay home, but I felt staying to the routine of life was more important at the moment.

When we had the funeral my youngest cried hard all the way thru it. It was heartbreaking for him and for us to listen to it too. But I am thankful that it wasn't worse like Dan's kids.

 

[WolfGate]

A prayer for Dan's kids. May they feel the tangible presence of God holding them. May they soon again come to feel peace.

 

[brinny]

Amen.

 

[sedonarose]

Praying for these sweet boys.

 

[dayhiker]

Michelle, just curious if you contacted the school to let them know why they were coming to school?

When my husband died, it was a Sunday. I sent them to school the next day because we had to go make funeral arrangements and I didn't want to take them and I didn't want them sitting around with nothing to do but think about how sad they were. They didn't resist either. If either one of them had said, they didn't want to go, then I probably would have let them stay home, but I felt staying to the routine of life was more important at the moment.

When we had the funeral my youngest cried hard all the way thru it. It was heartbreaking for him and for us to listen to it too. But I am thankful that it wasn't worse like Dan's kids.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Michelle, just curious if you contacted the school to let them know why they were coming to school?

No I did not. Maybe I should have, I did not think about it. They ended up being fine. I think I remember telling the school at some point but I don't really remember. I was in a death fog so I'm not sure.

 

[Inkachu]

Still praying for the family <3

 

[brinny]

Praying (((hug)))

 

[bobross]

Praying for these kids. I hope to hear some good news soon.

 

[blackribbon]

Update: Trent has gotten an infection related to one of the procedures and is still in the hospital.

 

[Inkachu]

Ugh, poor kid! One thing after another Hang in there, little guy!

 

[brinny]

Ohhhhh God help!!! Praying!!! (((hug)))

 

[bobross]

Praying. Thank you for the update.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Update: Trent has gotten an infection related to one of the procedures and is still in the hospital.

Just curious, but how are you getting these updates since you didn't know him except as we did?

 

[Elderado]

Just curious, but how are you getting these updates since you didn't know him except as we did?

I am getting them from a friend who is in contact with their family, and I have been passing them on to her to post for prayers.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I am getting them from a friend who is in contact with their family, and I have been passing them on to her to post for prayers.

Very awesome of you Elderado. Thank you for all you do and have done in sharing about Dan and the family.