I am an 18 year old college student. In high school I was an athlete (swimmer). I worked very hard in swimming to get where colleges wanted me to go to them. I had deals set up with TCU (texas christian university) and LSU. At the last moment both of these dreams were taken away from me by things out of my control. At LSU, the coach got fired ONE WEEK before I was to sign my letter of intent. At TCU, my school made an error in my application that was something that could not be fixed. After all of this, I used video games to escape the pain of my broken dreams. Through all of this, my girlfriend of one year helped me through it. She was someone I had a crush on for quite some time, and she was probably the only reason I lifted myself from the TV and tried another go at my goals. I am attending junior college and was still training to achieve swimming in college. I recently realized that I should be focusing on something else, my girlfriend. As a christian I will be honest with you. We had sex several times. Yesterday I realized that what I should do, is go to school with her. I quit training and planned on transferring to her colleges honor program in the spring. Today I got an email saying that she wanted to see other people. She and I are strong in our faith, but I admit that my faith is teetering on the edge of a knifepoint now.
In addition to all of this, my family has fallen apart too. My closest cousing, who because I have no brothers I consider them my brothers. Are basically all turning to drugs and crime because they feel that life is hopeless.
I feel that god has been testing me, and right when I chose the right decison I feel that he took the last thing I had left away from me. Again Ill be honest, I havent been to church lately because I really do feel that god is punishing me for something. She is the only woman I ever want to be with, and I know that in her heart she feels the same.
This may seem petty and it is my first post. But if anyone can give me advie or pray for me that would be most appreciated. I have been a man of faith all my life, but for my dreams and my love to be taken away from me so soon after I was at such high of a peak, is almost more than i can bear.
In addition to all of this, my family has fallen apart too. My closest cousing, who because I have no brothers I consider them my brothers. Are basically all turning to drugs and crime because they feel that life is hopeless.
I feel that god has been testing me, and right when I chose the right decison I feel that he took the last thing I had left away from me. Again Ill be honest, I havent been to church lately because I really do feel that god is punishing me for something. She is the only woman I ever want to be with, and I know that in her heart she feels the same.
This may seem petty and it is my first post. But if anyone can give me advie or pray for me that would be most appreciated. I have been a man of faith all my life, but for my dreams and my love to be taken away from me so soon after I was at such high of a peak, is almost more than i can bear.