please pray for me

[OptimisticSmile]

I was really believing that God was moving my freind and I into a relationship. I was certain she had already felt the same about the situation. I called her today and she told me she didnt feel the same way and it was totally opposite of what I expected. Now im really broken, embarressed, dissapointed and Im not sure if I will ever be comfortable discussing a relationship with a girl since this seemed so obvious to me and others around us and I was certain she already saw us as a couple. I cant even imagine strating the whole process over again with someone new , not when I have come to value a long freindship prior to a relationship. Im sure the OCD will start to kick in as well as I had come to believe God was giving me a strong direction with this and that it tied into my future as a counselor .

I dont want to hold on to this too much but part of me believes that just as my mom telling me she thought we would get married triggered me to consider where God had taken us perhaps our awkward conversation tonight will get her thinking. Im so afraid this will be the end of our freindship because things will be so awkward now

I had even opened up to her about my OCD issue

 

[OptimisticSmile]

i feel a bit better now but im still bummed out

 

[gracechick]

I'm sorry OptimstcSmle. Relationships can difficult sometimes
Just do your best to take it a day at a time. We never know what the Lord has instore for us. No matter what we are seeing He promises to always have our best interest at heart.

 

[OptimisticSmile]

thank you. I still have alot going for me. Lotd of reasons to praise God. in a few week I am going to be starting a bible study with my churches youth and that may lead to a youth group and I may be called to be the official youth minister. It was something that I thought me and her would do together and now that im likely doing it alone im a little more anxious about it and I probly will feel like "man I wish we could have experienced this together" we still can I guess since we are really close freinds but I was thinking that if we did end up doing it together that would be God joining us together in ministry and I would know that she was the person God intended for me.

at the same time Im really encouraged that I have this oppertunity to expereince something which will help me in the long run with my christian counseling endevor and this is an oppertunity to experience God do something amzing that I could not fathom. it could be a while though but i know he greives now for me and at the same time delights in the thoughts he has for me that I have yet to experience.

 

[BeccaLynn]

Optimistic,

I know it can hurt so deeply when things, relationships, don't work out the way we planned them. There was a time when I was engaged to someone whom I felt God didn't desire me to be with. It hurt so terribly at the time, but I can look back now and see that God was looking out for my overall good, as always. The young man I was planning on marrying, I don't think, would have ever been truly compassionate with me in what I have gone through as far as OCD. I can see many other areas where there would have been MAJOR problems - in looking back. But during the time, I thought I just wanted to be with him, regardless. I'm thankful God kept nudging me internally that it would be a mistake to ignore His promptings concerning this. I am so thankful to God. Everything works for the good of those who love Him. It's difficult for me to not run away with my thoughts, and plan how things are going to go, turn out, etc. in my head. I'm trying to learn to take one day at a time and leave the future to Him. He will take care of you. If this is not the relationship He has for you as you had thought was being indicated, there is a perfect reason that He sees. It still hurts, but He's got everything under control and we can always come to Him for comfort.

Rebecca

 

[OptimisticSmile]

thank you so much. I prayed with her and a group of freinds last night. I had such a peace about it and today I have not been sad at all .

 

[OptimisticSmile]

So now that we are engaged I found out the brokeness she went through that night that this post was written. She had gotten all dressed up because we were going to go out and when I called her and asked her if she felt God was joining us together she got taken off gaurd becuase she did feel the same way but was really fighting it. she was so upset because she had looked forward to spending that night with me and because of the awkward conversation we didnt hang-out . she spent the night alone and sad while I was writing this .