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Braydeno

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isn't swearing/vowing against heaven bad in the bible?What Does the Bible Say About Keeping Promises? like you vowed you would become a preacher, but now it seems like you're just forcing yourself to become one because you vowed to, its pretty easy to change your mind over time. Isn't that why its not good to make vows against the heavens? just stick to yes or no, if you can't keep that vow then say sorry to god and say that you will stop making vows(easier to do that then have all the pressure on your back). Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do. Don't even vow that you'll stop making vows.

here's an example: I promised god out of happiness that I would fast 2 times every week, After awhile... yeah I couldn't keep up with that promise and broke it by now. lesson learnt.

One night when I was 14 or 15 in the depths of my despair I prayed that if God forgave my blasphemy or being the anti/Christ that I would be a preacher for this religious group if it was his will.
God promises forgiveness you don't need to bribe him to forgive you by becoming a preacher. God does not take bribes(I remember reading that in the bible somewhere)

Idk what other peoples views are about this(like some others are suggesting medications and counselling) I have faith that god can get rid of, or really calm your OCD down, he can do the impossible. Let him be your medication, and counselling. It's not like you got schizophrenia. I got ocd bad too(getting better slowly), not as bad as you, but, i do get blasphemous thoughts too. He knows you don't want those thoughts, and that your tormented by them, so why would he have anything against you for something you can't control?

here's a tip if you dont mind: I too used to be obsessed with conspiracy, like alex jones and all that crap, Most of it is fake(fear mongling) crap just for views. My life was revolved around how crappy the earth 'n humanity was and how much drama this and that, you get it.... It's not healthy, It gave me a bad attitude to life. That's why I suggest stop watching and believing all that junk.

I hope for the best brother.
 
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Subaru17

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Yeah i have since read scripture that says " let your yes be yes and your no be no" and i believe Jesus even said that it is better not to vow at all. But I still feel bound by what I said. I do understand now that Gods love and forgiveness is meant to be unconditional but i just can't shake it.

Thank you for your example in your own life, it is helpful

And that is some good advice on the Alex Jones esque stuff, I have been down those rabbit holes many more times than i can count and no good seems to come from any of it, except fear and distraction from a life that we are supposed to be living and enjoying.

Thank you
 
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Subaru17

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That is true, about the different requirements but I am talking about the requirements for the church that I feel I have to be a preacher for specifically.
 
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Jane_Doe

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That is true, about the different requirements but I am talking about the requirements for the church that I feel I have to be a preacher for specifically.
Ok. If you wish to pursue that path, getting treatment for your OCD is the first order of business. If you wish to pursue a different path eventually, getting treatment for your OCD is still the first order of business.
 
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Subaru17

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Ok. If you wish to pursue that path, getting treatment for your OCD is the first order of business. If you wish to pursue a different path eventually, getting treatment for your OCD is still the first order of business.

Thank you for the encouragement, I do ultimately need to get my OCD fixed. Once i believe fully that I do have it and it isnt just God speaking to me.

The trouble is I do not wish to go to this church but feel that I have to...its hard to explain
 
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Jane_Doe

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The trouble is I do not wish to go to this church but feel that I have to...its hard to explain
It's hard to explain, but it's a very common feeling. In which case we have the following choice:
-- Go to that church. Best first step in going there: treating OCD so you know it's you/God who wants to be there and not a mental condition messing you up.
-- Don't go to that church. In which case the first step again is OCD treatment to know it's you/God making the choice and not the OCD.
 
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Subaru17

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Yes, I do need to separate the OCD from the spiritual but I guess that is the rub with these kinds of issues, it's so hard to do.

Wish I knew how to know
 
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Jane_Doe

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Yes, I do need to separate the OCD from the spiritual but I guess that is the rub with these kinds of issues, it's so hard to do.

Wish I knew how to know
Here's my story, maybe it'll help (this is the super abridged version, feel free to ask more):

I grew up with extreme suicidial depression from kindergarten onward (I was molested). I didn't know what it was to be "normal", because I only known a world covered in shadows of depression and self hatred. I... honestly as much as I hated the shadows, I feared the being "better" more-- that was strange and felt more dangerous than my familiar darkness. So yeah... my growing up was messed up, but I developed coping methods to get along well enough.

Flash foward to college: I was breaking. The war grew desperate I had to fight the shadows-- win or loose. It was a roller coaster for years-- pain, joy, depression, love, fear-- all so vivid. I prayed-- God had always been my comfort. But church people... there were problems there. Finally after years of struggle, I actually admitted that I needed to go to counseling and seek help.

It totally transformed me. The tools I had been stumbling around in the dark trying to find for years- my counselor knew where they were and handed them to me. Finally I was able to heal and become a totally different person. Today I look at the sun free of my old shadows and embrace the Son with unabated joy.
 
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Subaru17

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Thank you for that insight, I'm sorry to hear that you had such a tough road but am glad to hear that you have been able to heal.

Interestingly enough my own issues were brought on by a traumatic experience in my childhood. It was only after that that my first symptoms appeared (bad thoughts, anxiety, etc)

I think what has me so troubled is the return of many things I thought I had dealt with, I think this is because I never got proper treatment and only avoiding "triggering" (hate that word) stuff.

But you can't run forever, and now maybe it is my turn to face it. And really get help and move on.

Thanks for the hope.

Anything else is appreciated, advice or anything
 
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Jane_Doe

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I could have written this post when I was ~23!

Honestly, I REALLY recommend all of the below taken together:
1) Good therapy (not junk therapy)
2) Active scripture reading / prayer
3) Learning to cut yourself some slack. I blamed myself forever for not handling my trauma like a mature toughened adult-- cause I was a victimized 4 year old! I wanted so desperately to be something I wasn't right then, and couldn't forgive myself for not being only what I was then and now. Learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes and the mistakes of others.
 
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Newsgurl

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Thank you for that uplifting story Jane doe! I had a rough childhood growing up to and dealing with self esteem issues at a young age can be overwhelming. I'm glad you got the help you needed and that you are on the right track. Keep it up!
 
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Galatea

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Galatea

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Is that video all fake?
I don't know. I watched the whole thing. The guy sounds convinced, but I don't know if the information he got was legitimate. It could be from a disgruntled ex military pilot. Or, the pilot may think he knows what he is talking about and is not as informed as he thinks. What do you think?
 
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Sammy-San

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What do you think of the former illuminati members testimony? Could they be deceiving others with sensational stories?
 
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Galatea

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What do you think of the former illuminati members testimony? Could they be deceiving others with sensational stories?
I don't believe in the Illuminati. I believe there are people controlling things, sure- the moneyed people. They always control things, always have and always will. This is the system we are not supposed to love, this is the part of the world we are to hate- because it is corrupt.
 
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Sammy-San

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What is your view on the stories?
 
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Sammy-San

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What is yours? I don't believe in the Illuminati. I think it is not real. There are people in control, but we don't necessarily know who they are.

So you think stories like John Todd and Maryanne (who interviewed henry makow) are deceivers trying to get attention with sensational stories?
 
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