Please Help!

[TheDag]

Hi glandias
I read your disclaimer and will put in my disclaimer for my response. I will give the best advice I can with the inadequate information provided. At the end of the day there are so many reasons that could be causing this that would affect how a person can be their "real self". If you don't think my advice is appropiate then ignore it. There is no need to be rude. Heck I was tempted to not reply because of your previous responses. However it is your friend needing the help so I am going to give it a go. Hopefully it will be helpfull. If not sorry for wasting your time but it certainly is not my intention to waste anyone's time.


A couple of questions and points to consider.
1. Who is saying he is not being his real self and are they in a position to make an accurate statement about that?
I had a friend I met in high school and later we went on christian camps in school holidays. On his last camp he was a very different person in behaviour to the past. This caused some people to tell him not to try to be someone he wasn't. What they didn't realise but I did was it was only on this last camp he was being himself. The others had only seen him a particular way three or four times a year. Not a great way to get an accurate picture of someone as opposed to me who saw him every single day.
2. You have said a number of times that your friend does not have a medical condition. How do you know? I'm not looking for a response here but people often don't think they have a problem. That is why in mental health there are such things as Involuntary Treatment Orders.
3. Sometimes we have to make an effort to do what is right as it doesn't come naturally. This can often look like it is fake. However as the bible tells us God looks at the heart and knows our intentions. I have noticed in my life and others that we can change our real self by practicing doing things with good intentions even if it is unwilling. This can cause confusion.
4. As another poster said maybe these people are just being critical. Maybe your friend is unintentionally confronting them by his actions and they feel uncomfortable and attack him as a result.
5. Maybe it is something else all together.

At the end of the day your friend can know their real self. The actions that come naturally generally indicate what a person is really like. To get a more accurate picture they should ask close friends who know them well and can be trusted to tell them the truth. It sounds like you could be such a friend. A method I have used very succesfully in the past is if a person made a criticism of me then I would consider if it was justified. I would also ask three friends to consider if it was justified. The interesting thing was my friends always agreed with each other. Sometimes I disagreed with them so I had to eat humble pie and change but other times they would say no that wasn't justified. Perhaps your friend could try this and you could help them. It may not work as well as there is no magic formula that will make everything go smoothly.
I also wonder if your friend is too sensitive to criticism or cares too much about what others think. I personally don't care what others think about me but I do listen to complaints and consider if they are true. Hopefully you can see the difference between those two positions. One is being motivated because the individual wants to be the best person they can be and the other is trying to earn favour in the eyes of others.

 

[glandias]

The Dag...

2. This isn't an issue of self-denial, or being held against your will to *fix* the "problem" (which is absolutely unnecessary in the first place considering your hypothetical situation, where the person isn't causing harm to himself or to another individual) And it's quite interesting that you relate having a problem akin to someone having an Involuntary Treatment Order placed upon them. If everybody thought like you did, then half the populace would be in cuckoo-houses all over the world, just because they have an issue that they are dealing with, which can indeed be solved by getting the right point of view from the right person (what I had been praying would happen here) Again, there are much better viable solutions to this issue. Like getting good advice for starters. Thankfully some of the responses have been of more help. Not embracing a faulty system, where people get mis-diagnosed routinely by the mis-representations of so called qualified people. Psychiatry in general is a huge rip off scam. All it is is Big Pharma exploiting unsuspecting doctors with all these so-called miracle cures (aka toxic syntetic chemical poisons) which in the end probably don't solve the problem that the person went in there for in the first place, only leaving the person taking drugs they don't need to be taking, having devestating negative side effects and ruining lives! All in the name of $$$$. Don't believe me....go to www dot furiousseasons dot com, check it out. Oh and as a final note there are many ways of KNOWING whether you have a condition or not. All you need to do is take this vast array of knowledge called the internet, do some research into the matter and then based on relevent, un-biased, transparant, independant scientifc studies/research you can draw up conclusions that are either on par or much better then what a doctor could diagnose you as being. After all, you have the same information that they have, why go through the unnessary hassles and risks of going to a practioner?

 

[TheDag]

The Dag...

2. This isn't an issue of self-denial, or being held against your will to *fix* the "problem" (which is absolutely unnecessary in the first place considering your hypothetical situation, where the person isn't causing harm to himself or to another individual) And it's quite interesting that you relate having a problem akin to someone having an Involuntary Treatment Order placed upon them. If everybody thought like you did, then half the populace would be in cuckoo-houses all over the world, just because they have an issue that they are dealing with, which can indeed be solved by getting the right point of view from the right person (what I had been praying would happen here) Again, there are much better viable solutions to this issue. Like getting good advice for starters.

This bit here seems to indicate that you have completely missed the point of what I said. The question I asked was

How do you know they do not have a mental health issue?

I gave one example to show that it does happen that people do not realise they have a problem. i did not suggest anything like what you claim I have said here. You have read way too much into it. That is partly why I was thinking of not responding in the first place. Are people really trying to push an agenda or do you just think they are because you are reading more into what they say then what they actually are saying?

As I said I don't want an answer to my question I just hope you know the answer. later in your response you state how you know. That is fine.

Thankfully some of the responses have been of more help.

it is good that you have actually acknowledged this. All I have seen from you so far is you shooting down anyone who tries to help despite the inadequate information given. it is good to hear that someones response was of some help.

Not embracing a faulty system, where people get mis-diagnosed routinely by the mis-representations of so called qualified people. Psychiatry in general is a huge rip off scam. All it is is Big Pharma exploiting unsuspecting doctors with all these so-called miracle cures (aka toxic syntetic chemical poisons) which in the end probably don't solve the problem that the person went in there for in the first place, only leaving the person taking drugs they don't need to be taking, having devestating negative side effects and ruining lives! All in the name of $$$$. Don't believe me....go to www dot furiousseasons dot com, check it out. Oh and as a final note there are many ways of KNOWING whether you have a condition or not. All you need to do is take this vast array of knowledge called the internet, do some research into the matter and then based on relevent, un-biased, transparant, independant scientifc studies/research you can draw up conclusions that are either on par or much better then what a doctor could diagnose you as being.

Interesting how other peoples sources are biased yet yours must be right. I am well aware that certain mental health issue have been "diagnosed" by drug companies. However scientific studies have shown some of them do actually exist while others have not. So simply because it was first mentioned by a drug company does not mean it is made up and simply a way to rip people off. On top of this the majority of mental health disorders were medically diagnosed at first and not by drug companies.

i have studied some mental health. Not so in depth that I'm qualified to work in the field but my teacher was very good at pointing out these things and also taught us different techniques. She gave examples of when other peoples first reaction was lets sedate the person then get them started on some drugs but she just asked a simple question and that got the person on the road to a drug free recovery.

After all, you have the same information that they have, why go through the unnessary hassles and risks of going to a practioner?

just because information is on the internet does not make it right and also does not make it easy to find. The proof of this is my wife and I both did seperate searches to find out information about the house we would be moving into. All I found was various government sites with technical information. It was my wife who found out useful information so we know that people in the street have had their houses raided in drug search and things like that. So simply because it is on the net does not mean people have access to it. You have to know how to find it.

Also don't believe everything you read on the net. I've seen some pretty big errors in information. Also remember anyone who puts it there has an agenda they are trying to push.

 

[Nilla]

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reread your post and think about how others
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[MikePantelides]

I would say that your friend or you or whoever this post is about should just relax. Some of the behaviour that might seem acting could be genuine, and if it is acting then most people act in life anyway. There are many insecure people or depressed or don't want to put on a front and go in to work for example. But they do. The fact your friend or your brain has come up with this identity makes it genuine to an extent. Just focus on enjoying life is my advice. Try not to disect everything and go into mega detail.
Pray to the Lord for help and peace of mind. Focus on the things that are enjoyable (and morally ok) and take life one day at a time.
God bless.