please help.

[shrewdpiper]

i know that no one should separate two people joined in matrimony.

what does the bible say about battered women?

like in the case of an alcoholic father who disrespects his wife and verbally abuses his children?

if a person wants to follow God's command, but also wants to protect her family, especially her mother from her own father- what must she do?

please help.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Matthew 5:

32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

How exactly did the abuse begin? It seems odd to me for someone to marry into this type of thing. But what is done is done, and shouldn't be undone except for adultery (see above)

 

[Magisterium]

First of all, We must understand that though the marraige covenant cannot be broken, an abused spouse does not sin in simply moving away from the abusive situation. Many spouses need to spend time apart while rectifying problems in the relationship. The questions arise when one wants to begin dating someone other than their spouse.

The fact is, people must understand completely what they are promising when they enter into the marraige covenant. If they are not properly disposed to the covenant, there can be no union. Many go through the motions but no actual "joining" takes place. In these cases, it doesn't take long for the facade to crumble and the "marraige" to fall apart.

 

[shrewdpiper]

i am not speaking of divorce. it's mere separation.
thanks.

 

[rogsr]

Hello shrewdpiper,
It sounds like you are having a rough time. It makes me sad to know that you are suffering. My advice to you is to be shrewd as a snake, and peaceful as a dove. In other words use your head. If you or your mother are being physically hurt by someone then call the police and leave. I don't think God wants you or your mother to be hurt..do you? If things are that bad where the best thing to do is leave, then leave. I don't know the nature of this abuse, but I have seen plenty of domestic violence and it is nothing to fool around with. I am praying for you.

 

[Rafael]

i know that no one should separate two people joined in matrimony.

what does the bible say about battered women?

like in the case of an alcoholic father who disrespects his wife and verbally abuses his children?

if a person wants to follow God's command, but also wants to protect her family, especially her mother from her own father- what must she do?

please help.

Most Christians today believe that they must stay with unbeliever spouses no matter what, except for adultry, but I don't believe that. A marriage put together by God is the only valid marriage, and Nehemiah considered marriage to unbelievers as invalid and demanded that the Jewish men leave them immediately - no ceremony of divorce - not a valid marriage. Today, many people go against the will of God and marry unbelievers or make hasty judgments as young people and then feel bound by clergy to remain in horrible ungodly circumstances. In my opinion, and backed by the scriptures in 1 Corinthians concerning the unbeliever spouse, I don't believe Christians should remain bound to an unbeliever unless the unbeliever wants to stay and is not abusive. So many times I see that God did not put together a marriage, but people make mistakes by marrying unbelievers. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder", implies that God first put this together and the two were following closely the will of God concerning their union. I guess it would be a personal judgment call for a wife who was being beaten by an unbeliever husband whether or not he was "pleased to dwell with her". Should the wife then be willing to yield herself to sadism if that pleased her husband? I don't think so. Nehemiah seemed to think these men should leave immediately, and busted heads. Marrying the wrong person and then having to go through divorce are sins that take a toll. God hates divorce, "putting away", so a person should not take it or marriage lightly. However, I believe God will forgive us for these sins, and just going through a bad marriage of abuse and then going through a divorce is horrible enough punishment in itself. Our sins always hurt us, and I think God aways intends for us to save ourselves from suffering them in the first place.

1 Corinthians 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Nehemiah 12:23 In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab:
24 And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews’ language, but according to the language of each people.
25 And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.
26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.
27 Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?

Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

 

[KelliP72]

Matthew 5:

32But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

How exactly did the abuse begin? It seems odd to me for someone to marry into this type of thing. But what is done is done, and shouldn't be undone except for adultery (see above)

I don't mean to cause offense, but welcome to the real world. Abuse happens every day. I was in an extremely abusive relationship and I had no idea what he was really like before we were married. In fact, he was actually pretty good for the first few years of our marriage. I am dumbfounded that you would even suggest a woman stay in an abusive relationship and it almost seems as if you're implying it's somehow her fault that she's in that situation.

 

[KelliP72]

If a man becomes abusive toward his wife and she decides to leave him, it isn't she that first broke the marriage vow, but he. He promised to take care of her in sickness and health, and by being abusive he broke that promise.

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

I don't mean to post an opinion as much as I do a scripture. You seem to have a problem with the scripture itself. If you do find a husband in adultery (whether traditional adultery, excessive lust, or pornography) those all count, as Jesus said. But don't let this freedom to divorce for anything idea get to you head. Its relatively new, and unscriptural.

PS:
Does anyone have the ultra-early (OLD OT ) marriage ceremony in Latin or English? I think it may be of value here.

 

[billwald]

There was no OT concept of legal seperation. Now there is.

Someone physically abuses you, call the police and have him put in jail.

 

[shrewdpiper]

thank you everyone.
if it's ok, please pray for my dad.
that he may one day become a true Christian.
that's all i ask.

thanks so much.
God bless.

 

[theseed]

If a man becomes abusive toward his wife and she decides to leave him, it isn't she that first broke the marriage vow, but he. He promised to take care of her in sickness and health, and by being abusive he broke that promise.

Yes, this fits in the "unfaithfulness" catagory (Matt. 19).

 

[brinley45cal]

Most Christians today believe that they must stay with unbeliever spouses no matter what, except for adultry, but I don't believe that. A marriage put together by God is the only valid marriage, and Nehemiah considered marriage to unbelievers as invalid and demanded that the Jewish men leave them immediately - no ceremony of divorce - not a valid marriage. Today, many people go against the will of God and marry unbelievers or make hasty judgments as young people and then feel bound by clergy to remain in horrible ungodly circumstances. In my opinion, and backed by the scriptures in 1 Corinthians concerning the unbeliever spouse, I don't believe Christians should remain bound to an unbeliever unless the unbeliever wants to stay and is not abusive. So many times I see that God did not put together a marriage, but people make mistakes by marrying unbelievers. "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder", implies that God first put this together and the two were following closely the will of God concerning their union. I guess it would be a personal judgment call for a wife who was being beaten by an unbeliever husband whether or not he was "pleased to dwell with her". Should the wife then be willing to yield herself to sadism if that pleased her husband? I don't think so. Nehemiah seemed to think these men should leave immediately, and busted heads. Marrying the wrong person and then having to go through divorce are sins that take a toll. God hates divorce, "putting away", so a person should not take it or marriage lightly. However, I believe God will forgive us for these sins, and just going through a bad marriage of abuse and then going through a divorce is horrible enough punishment in itself. Our sins always hurt us, and I think God aways intends for us to save ourselves from suffering them in the first place.

1 Corinthians 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
1 Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

Nehemiah 12:23 In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab:
24 And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews’ language, but according to the language of each people.
25 And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves.
26 Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin.
27 Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?

Mal 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

You hit the nail on the head,i was about to post almost the same thing until i saw your post,so i guess i dont need to now.Good Job.