Please help.... :-/

[All4Christ]

I need to sleep soon so I'll expand soon but here's the basics of my issue

1.) i've been going to an Orthodox Parish for a couple months and plan to be Orthodox
2.)My family - Protestants- are resistant, but were beginning to try to understand.
3.)The youth pastor at my previous church decided to become a missionary to Macedonia to show the Greek Orthodox (98 percent of the population) the "Full" truth of Christianity - ack!
4.)This pastor is held in high regard with my family - and they now are more set against Orthodoxy than ever.
5.)We are going to have a discussion soon where I have to defend Orthodoxy.
6.)While I truly believe Orthodoxy is correct - I don't know the best way to defend it because I am still learning a lot about it!

So please - if anyone has ANY suggestions on how to handle this...Please let me know ASAP - as the conversation will be soon.

Thanks....

 

[cassc]

Oh wow, you are not in an enviable situation. One thing that you have to remember is that no mater what wonderful, true, well through out point you make when speaking with your family that will (probably) not change their minds, please do not let that discourage you. I will pray that God will help you find the words you need. There are many more scholarly than I on this site so I hope they can help you!

 

[Toddbert]

To be honest, I wouldn't participate in such a discussion; it's not your job to defend Orthodoxy, nor should someone engaged in honest study of the faith be placed in such a position-- especially with a missionary who is attempting to make it his job to lead people away from the Church.

If you must attend, simply listen to what he has to say, do not 'rise to the bait', and be polite. That's the best you will likely be able to do under the circumstances; this isn't a conversation you are likely to 'win'.

 

[All4Christ]

The discussion is with my family - not with the missionary. I know that I would not be able to dissuade him - but I do need to have this discussion with my family, as they do not understand where I am coming from.

 

[Hoankan]

It seems pretty wrong that you have to defend your choice. Shouldn't they be trying to point out the truth in their church and make you change your mind? I don't like defending my faith against someone who isn't open to listening and would rather just let them speak, decline and when they ask why, give answers.

I can't give much in sagely advice but from my own experience, it's better to let them sell you their point of view, listen very intently and then decline saying that while there is truth, it lacks the fullness of the truth that the Church, which has preserved the traditions taught to it by Jesus Christ traditions for 2,000 years against Romans, Islam, and Communists.

Anyways, just my thoughts.

 

[All4Christ]

Ah, let me clarify. They do want to understand why I am doing this. Nonetheless, I did earlier point out that I did not think that Protestants had the fullness of the truth as you mentioned - I tried to say that as gently as possible. They want to know now what I believe the fullness of the truth is.

 

[Toddbert]

Avoid specific discussion of doctrine, and don't use phrases like 'fullness of the truth'-- you're setting yourself up for an argument. Instead, focus on what is leading you to Orthodoxy *personally*, not the differences between the churches.

 

[Hoankan]

ooops......

May I suggest you ask them if they would like to talk priest at the parish who would be able to give more detailed answers to their questions than you, who is still learning, could give. Just be honest with your feelings and thoughts and if the priest can answer the hard questions, things should be easier. You can also say that the full knowledge of the faith is a great deal more than protestant branches have as it has been passed down since the time of Christ.

 

[MariaRegina]

Great idea.

Invite the family over to see the priest or invite the priest over to the house. And that would be very interesting.

Or, better yet, invite the family to attend church with you (letting the priest know beforehand).

In that way, the priest can welcome the family to the Church and then explain things in the sermon.

 

[Orthosdoxa]

I like the idea of talking to them with your priest's help. You are still learning, and Orthodoxy isn't something that can be wrapped up in some tidy little package.

Or what about reading? Plenty of us here could reccomend good books and articles for them. "Thirsting for God in a land of shallow wells" comes to mind as a good apologetic resource that isn't too polemic.

 

[Orthosdoxa]

I like the idea of talking to them with your priest's help. You are still learning, and Orthodoxy isn't something that can be wrapped up in some tidy little package.

Or what about reading? Plenty of us here could reccomend good books and articles for them. "Thirsting for God in a land of shallow wells" comes to mind as a good apologetic resource that isn't too polemic.

 

[Theophorus]

Avoid specific discussion of doctrine, and don't use phrases like 'fullness of the truth'-- you're setting yourself up for an argument. Instead, focus on what is leading you to Orthodoxy *personally*, not the differences between the churches.

From personal experience, I agree.

 

[buzuxi02]

When you say he's going to Macedonia where the population is 98% Greek Orthodox, i suspect you mean Thessaloniki???
If so, not to worry he will return to the states as a potential Orthodox convert.

 

[Ioan cel Nou]

My experience is, don't talk about it at all (or at least only answer truthfully and calmly questions that they put to you). Don't go out of your way to have a discussion and don't bring the subject up yourself. I learnt this from experience. My mother is very Protestant and very anti-Orthodox. I knew that she would think Orthodoxy was Catholicism so I tried, at first, to discuss things with her. All that ever got me was arguments (bad ones) where I was forced to defend myself from attacks based on her misconceptions. For example, when she found out I'd converted she told me 'I hope you go to purgatory when you die' - not something I would expect a mother to wish on their child, even if purgatory was Orthodox.

Eventually, I stopped and things got better. I let her come to me and hope that when she does the conversations will be friendly. They rarely are, but at least they are less frequent. It is difficult, because I know that she will never really accept my faith, but it seems that that is something I simply have to live with - though it does lead to some awful situtaions. For example, after my mother's public and anti-Orthodox proclamations at my son's baptism, I was almost glad that my son was ill with chicken pocks (God forgive me) when my daughter's baptism came around, because it meant she wouldn't be there at all as she volunteered to stay home and look after him.

It's really not easy if you have Protestant family that are set against you, but we all have our crosses to bear. I believe the trick is to keep true to your faith whilst endeavouring not to alienate the rest of your family, even though this may result in personal pain.

James

 

[Monica child of God 1]

I agree with the suggestions of meeting with a priest and/or inviting your parents to come to service with you. Even if you could explain everything they question about Orthodoxy they would benefit from experiencing the context of our worship.

If at all possible avoid a long drawn out conversation. Tell them that you are willing to find answers to their questions but you need time to be thoughtful about your responses instead of answering in the moment. You could even thank them for their concern and express confidence that their questions will help you sort out things as you explore the Orthodox faith. Parents feel most uncomfortable when they think their children are dead set against them. It will make them feel better if they think that you all are working together in this. Even if you all don't agree at the end they will feel better knowing that your decision was not capricious or in any way against them.

M.

 

[All4Christ]

thank you all! I'm going to talk to my priest - probably either Wednesday or Thursday. I'm also going to check out that article you posted. For a service for them to attend - would you recommend Vespers, or Divine Liturgy? Keep in mind that this is a world of a difference to them, as Evangelical isn't even remotely close to the atmosphere of Orthodoxy.


Once again, thanks so much...

 

[Mary of Bethany]

Personally, I would go with Vespers. It might be a little less "foreign", not so crowded, or so long, and they might have a better chance to meet your priest afterwards.

Mary

 

[All4Christ]

and to those of you who shared your experience - thank you as well - it helps tremendously to know others have gone through the same thing...

 

[MariaRegina]

Yes, Vespers is a lovely service and you can remind them that Protestants might know this as evening song.

 

[Oblio]

When you say he's going to Macedonia where the population is 98% Greek Orthodox, i suspect you mean Thessaloniki???
If so, not to worry he will return to the states as a potential Orthodox convert.

Yep !