Please Help

[cryton]

I live with my 2 sisters and parents and we are all christians apart from one of my sisters, shes 19 and before last night my parents thought she was a christian, she had been playing them for a fool for a few years, and gradually it has gotten worse, I have known about it all, I didnt know how to react though so I just left her, I knew if i said anything to my parents they would be heart broken and my sister would go nuts at me, but on Saterday night we came home to a deserted house where my sister had stayed while we went on holiday, the house was a tip, nothing had been cleaned and it looked like the house had been abandoned for the week, I had a feeling she had been out partying like she usually does and she had probably had friends up at the house drunk, "and to be honest I really dont want to know all the details"

Last night my parents found drink in the fridge,cigerrete buds in the bin and packets in her bedroom and it was also discovered that she had taken my other sisters car without a licence and went joyriding with her boyfriend 'who is being trialed for murder and a heavy drug user' there was beer in the dash which means they were mostly likely drunk.

When she came back from her boyfriends. My parents and my sister had a talk and she told them absalutly everything, How she had spent all £800 of her wages with in a week on drugs,drink and cigerettes, and that she wanted to move in with her boyfriend.

Can you imagine after all the years of lies, finding out all that about your daughter in one night, Its only a matter of time before she moves in with him, we all know she is doing the wrong thing, but I am so annoyed at how foolish she was...
She either planted all that stuff so she would get caught and so she could use it as an exuse or she was just plain stupid.
She is so selfish, It will be ok for her when she moves out, but my sister and I are the ones that will be left to pick up the pieces and try and make things better.

My mum is having heart problems now due to stress and my dad is not long after a heart operation but he is coping farely well 'on the outside'

I dont know what to do, One part of me is wishing she would leave because of what shes done and the other part knows that my parents wont be able to cope, They will sit waiting for the phone call saying there daughter is in a morque somewere.

She has been talking about moving out for ages because she is going the completely different way to the rest of us and she doesnt want anything to do with it.

I feel its too much for my parents to handle and Its going to be so awkward living with her now. The only way to make it right is if she gets back with God again, I know its not impossible but really is going to take somthing to get her back, she has one very cold heart.

I was like her once but I got myself back on track, I know that livestyle will end sometime soon and its never a happy ending.

If anyone can give me some advise it would be much appreciated,

Thanks.

 

[Akathist]

I am so sorry for all of your family stress.

My initial advise to you is that you focus on being the best example of a Christian that you can be for her. In addition, I recommend that you do not try to preach much to her, that is one way that could cause her to drift away even more.

Instead, be loving with her while not joining her lifestyle.

And pray pray pray!

 

[If Not For Grace]

Had three children who did it all....why not so did their dad and I--2 out of three and me made it. Dad died and #2son is in jail on his 14th DUI (thank God or He would have died this time from the cocaine abuse). But we are all ok and we all love each other. All things considered we are pretty well adjusted.

Just remember God is in control.

It's a shock, but she's still your sister, maybe she's just working on her testimony.

 

[FallingWaters]

You asked what you should do, but I don't think I understand what your possible choices are. Would you please help us by telling us what you think you might need to do?

 

[Anti Existance]

I definitly think that you should talk to your parents and get her send to a christian rehab camp in the desert. If that's still possible in terms of authorithy that your parents have that is. Her problem is that she is in 'bad' company and volentarily chooses to be in such bad company, her bf will only badly influence her even more, and if you see her you need to sharply condemn and let her ask herself what on earth she thinks she is doing by living such a destructive lifestyle?

 

[Dairyman]

You need to let her live her life as she sees fit. You can not control her. She is 19.

If she chooses these things, then she can accept the consequences.

Repent cryton's sister!

 

[cryton]

It's a shock, but she's still your sister, maybe she's just working on her testimony.

Do you mean shes doing all this so she can stand up and tell everyone how god changed her? No way, she wants nothing to do with christianity.

 

[Akathist]

Mod Hat

Staff have been reviewing this thread and decided to do some cleaning up. The reason for this is that we do not want this area of CF to become a place where the christian standing of anyone, even family members of members or eternal destination after death of any individual is debated.

This is a place to support each other.

We had concerns about posts that were unnecessarily harsh here.

​

 

[If Not For Grace]

No way, she wants nothing to do with christianity

.

Perhaps not now, but we can pray that her heart will be opened.. I merely mean that all of us WERE lost, we all have a past, my was particularly bleak and God turned me around. I used to be on a path much like your sisters (Boy that was such another lifetime ago). TODAY I am a NEW creature.

Sometimes you got to know where a person has been to know how far they have come. I for one believe in intercessory prayer and hope any others who do will join me in prayers for your sister. There is hope. We can not change anyone--but God can.

 

[Shane Roach]

If anyone can give me some advise it would be much appreciated,

Thanks.

You mentioned you had been through a stage like that and come back from it. I wonder if you have confided that to her, and explained to her what the needs you had were when you did it, and why that path does not in the end fulfill those needs?

If you have, well... toss that suggestion. Things like that though -- shared experiences -- tend to help one to connect to someone else, making it easier to communicate. Just a thought.

Also, prepare your heart for what may be the inevitable if nothing else works... I am so sorry this is happening in your family. Try to realize though that she is her own person and the rest of you need to not let her acting out tear the rest of your family apart.

I do hope that things work out that she comes back to her senses...

 

[BLUEEYEANGEL]

.

Perhaps not now, but we can pray that her heart will be opened.. I merely mean that all of us WERE lost, we all have a past, my was particularly bleak and God turned me around. I used to be on a path much like your sisters (Boy that was such another lifetime ago). TODAY I am a NEW creature.

Sometimes you got to know where a person has been to know how far they have come. I for one believe in intercessory prayer and hope any others who do will join me in prayers for your sister. There is hope. We can not change anyone--but God can.

amen agreeing in prayer