PLEASE HELP PLEASE suffering from anxiety/ OCD thoughts won't leave me please please help

[Nickoala]

I am sorry that this is very long , but I need immediate spiritual help!!!I am a worrier ever since I can remember. I have terrible anxiety and it's killing me. I have prayed to God so much the past few months because I am suffering so badly from anxiety and depression. What I am worried about is a very sinful matter, yet it is all over the news. I feel like everywhere I go it's there! I am right now in a mortal sin because I haven't gone to Mass on Sunday for awhile and I feel like that is why I'm having these thoughts. I am planning to go to Reconciliation to share my thoughts, but I'm afraid the priest will give me the wrong answer and scare me. I am crying right now from how bad it is! I started having these thoughts around last year, but I have had anxiety ever since second grade. My parents are taking me to a doctor, but I don't know if it will help with these thoughts. I can't sleep at all anymore, and right now I can't fall asleep. These thoughts didn't start because I felt it, they started because I was worried I will feel it.I have never had these thoughts when I was very little and all of a sudden they just appeared. I think they came when I saw a YouTuber who was in this sin and I think it scared me! I DO NOT want to fall into this sin. The people who fall into the sin say if you are worrying about it then it is true and that makes me more worried!!! They don't think the sin is wrong though, they think it is completely right?! I just want the pain to go away. I know Jesus told us not to worry about anything, but it's so hard not to! There are so many people falling in this sin, so I think what if that is the same for me? How do I know it isn't the same? It drives me crazy and I had even had some suicidal thoughts. It wasn't severe and I wasn't planning on it, it was just if it did happen what would I do? And I know this is out of topic, but I need to ask this question. Last year I had a dream about Heaven and I need to know what it means! My dream was that it was the end of the world. The sky was red and black and all of these monsters were coming towards me. These monsters were like modern monsters, like Godzilla and zombies. Then I closed my eyes and just started praying. When I opened my eyes I saw that I was somewhere else with an old lady. I told her this must be Heaven. The one thing that stuck out the most about it was Heaven's clouds were pink but like layered! If I saw those clouds again, I would be admired bought them. Then I said well if this is Heaven then where are the golden gates? And in a very far distance I saw a bright gold light. The ground was like a field so I said well let's walk to them and then my dream ended. It was short yet memorable. If you have any idea what it means please let me know , I am just curious! Thank You so much and may God bless you!

 

[MommaTH]

Sweetie, I'm not sure about the dream but I know about the anxiety and thoughts you're having. My daughter suffers from Pure O OCD and it sounds like that's what's going on with you. In case you don't know, Pure O is more about obsessiveness than compulsion. My daughter gets thoughts that come into her mind that she just can't get rid of. They are thoughts everyone has but the normal brain is able to label them as not good and discard them. But the OCD brain can't do that. She will get a bad thought then obsess about the guilt she feels for getting the thought to begin with. She constantly needs reassurance that she's normal and that everything her OCD is telling her is a lie. She went into a 3 day inpatient stay at the mental health facility and that's when she was diagnosed. She is in counseling and is on Zoloft. Those seem to be helping but she still has frequent episodes so the doctor is working on adjusting her meds. Her therapist is helping her to use self calming which is her resisting to turn to someone for the reassurance. Instead she just tells herself that the thoughts are not who she is and that she doesn't need to fear them. I can tell you this, if you feel guilty about having the thoughts then chances are you would never fall into the trap of the sin. You need to try to take a step back and take a breath and tell yourself this is not your thought. Your brain is playing tricks on you. I suggest you read the book Imp Of The Mind by Lee Baer. It perfectly explains Pure O and has very helpful tips. I'll be praying for you. Be blessed.

 

[Catherineanne]

I am sorry that this is very long , but I need immediate spiritual help!!!I am a worrier ever since I can remember. I have terrible anxiety and it's killing me. I have prayed to God so much the past few months because I am suffering so badly from anxiety and depression. What I am worried about is a very sinful matter, yet it is all over the news. I feel like everywhere I go it's there! I am right now in a mortal sin because I haven't gone to Mass on Sunday for awhile and I feel like that is why I'm having these thoughts. I am planning to go to Reconciliation to share my thoughts, but I'm afraid the priest will give me the wrong answer and scare me. I am crying right now from how bad it is! I started having these thoughts around last year, but I have had anxiety ever since second grade. My parents are taking me to a doctor, but I don't know if it will help with these thoughts. I can't sleep at all anymore, and right now I can't fall asleep. These thoughts didn't start because I felt it, they started because I was worried I will feel it.I have never had these thoughts when I was very little and all of a sudden they just appeared. I think they came when I saw a YouTuber who was in this sin and I think it scared me! I DO NOT want to fall into this sin. The people who fall into the sin say if you are worrying about it then it is true and that makes me more worried!!! They don't think the sin is wrong though, they think it is completely right?! I just want the pain to go away. I know Jesus told us not to worry about anything, but it's so hard not to! There are so many people falling in this sin, so I think what if that is the same for me? How do I know it isn't the same? It drives me crazy and I had even had some suicidal thoughts. It wasn't severe and I wasn't planning on it, it was just if it did happen what would I do? And I know this is out of topic, but I need to ask this question. Last year I had a dream about Heaven and I need to know what it means! My dream was that it was the end of the world. The sky was red and black and all of these monsters were coming towards me. These monsters were like modern monsters, like Godzilla and zombies. Then I closed my eyes and just started praying. When I opened my eyes I saw that I was somewhere else with an old lady. I told her this must be Heaven. The one thing that stuck out the most about it was Heaven's clouds were pink but like layered! If I saw those clouds again, I would be admired bought them. Then I said well if this is Heaven then where are the golden gates? And in a very far distance I saw a bright gold light. The ground was like a field so I said well let's walk to them and then my dream ended. It was short yet memorable. If you have any idea what it means please let me know , I am just curious! Thank You so much and may God bless you!

If you are prevented from going to Mass by illness then you are not in mortal sin. Not a bit of it.

As for the rest, I really think you need to see your doctor, and then your priest.

And I can indeed tell you what your dream means. It means stop watching horror/sci fi/monster films. You need to be careful about the kind of images you allow into your mind, because they will return when you are vulnerable.

God be with you.