Please help need some advice

[drumLuke]

Hi my name is Luke and i was diagose with bipolar disorder a year and a half ago, i even once tried to kill myself by taking 2 packs of aspirin, but i was luckily taken to hospital but a close friend of mine just in time...i just wanted to know other peoples experianced with bipolar disorder, and what they have gone through...
at the moment im have stopped taking my lithium and cyllthalergen beacuse i hate the idea of taking drugs, and i feel really sick whn i take them...what are your own experiances with bipolar meds??
thanks Luke

 

[bipolarbear]

Hello and welcome! You ahve come to a great place full of wonderful people! I just wanted to welcome you... I am in a bit a a struggle with depression, and really don't feel like sharing at this time. Sorry. Not you, it's me. Anyway, welcome and God bless!

Bipolarbear

 

[Soulwings]

Welcome to the board, as Bear said. There are tons of great and supportive people here, so I'm glad that you've found us.

Ummm, experiences. Just in general, or with meds in particular, or both?

As far as meds go, in my experience it's not wise to stop taking meds without professional guidance. Many bipolar (and other) meds will make you feel nasty for the first little while, but those side effects eventually go away. They're usually worth it, if they do indeed help. Bipolar, either I or II, can be horrible - is horrible - without meds, as I am sure you have discovered.

I have been on a host of meds, not just for bipolar but for depression as well, but I sadly can't remember most of my experiences on them. Lithium didn't help me much at all so my NP decided to take me off it last September. I'm currently on Lamictal 400mg for mood stabilization (along with 4 other meds) and it's helped my moods tremendously, although I still have pretty horrible times. I hate the idea of taking meds also, but... they work, and if they make life easier rather than harder, and allow you to function, then - even though most people HATE it and would much rather not take anything - you may as well take them.

Experiences with mood swings... hypomania really sucks - I am bipolar-II, so I cycle more frequently than bipolar-I people do. Thoughts race, I make unhealthy plans, am impulsive, etc., etc. Depressive episodes - I'm dysthymic, so I'm alway a bit depressed, but when I get really low I tend to SI or plan to kill myself and ruminate ruminate ruminate. I've attempted suicide twice and been hospitalized three times, and am spending my summer (so far) trying to stay out of hospital yet again, so I understand your struggles with being suicidal. I also have psychotic symptoms, and that makes things worse... I haven't noticed a pattern as far as them showing up with either manic or depressive episodes.

Bipolar really does suck, but there are good things in among the bad, and with meds I can function semi-normally. (Well, I am not institutionalized - that's got to count for something, right?) I'm not saying that it's easy - no, far from - especially with other mental illnesses on top of the bp-II, it seems like I am always struggling. But... God is faithful, and will give you strength to make it through the tough times.

Hope some of that helped. Feel free to PM me anytime - or anyone else, I think we would all be glad to support you. Once again... welcome, and you are not alone!

 

[Alive again]

I add to the welcomes above. I agreed that there are many challenges with this illness. I would also encourage you to go back to your doc and talk to him about your meds. There are many different choices for mood stabilizers and the first one often does not work. Most are able to find a med or med combo that works well enough with minimal side effects (or at least side effects that are tolerable for them). Most of us require meds. Also look into things like fish oil that can help supplement meds. For me keeping a strict sleep schedule truly helps. I also deal with BP2 which can switch moods quickly. Those dealing with bp1 tend to have moods that can last months/seasons. I find spring and fall are more challenging for me moodwise.

My most challenging times are the intense anger that dumps into suicidality. with much learning and coping and counseling and thinking etc I am better at letting things go and not spiking to those anger times (okay, flat out rage). I have struggled far more with depression this winter than I have in a couple of years. When I first was diagnosed, depression rule about 95% or more of my life. Prior to this wknter I would have said I forgot how truly bad my depression was. Even now it is amazing to realize how bad it was.

When feeling hypomanic I can do anything and overcommit myself major!!!Then feel bad for not being more organized and getting it done-would that I could channel it into housekeeping! LOL!

Anyway, just to encourage you, I recently went through voc rehab (I am on SSDI) and reentered the medical field. I am now working for the first time in over a decade. It is a huge challenge for me right now and far more exhausting than I expected. Mentally I can do the work, but physically I am truly wondering.

 

[DoubtingThomas29]

It sounds to me you didn't tell your doctor you were going to go off your meds. That is a recipie for relapsing into the hospital. You need to learn to love your meds, they can keep you out of the hospital.

Hang in there,

Thomas