Please help me

[OphidiaPhile]

I think its exceedingly grand to belong to my husband.

I would never associate with a woman that considered herself to be the possession of another human being.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

That's redundant. They aren't "getting any" because they don't, for lack of a better word, advertise for it. They don't look for it. They don't offer it. They choose not to get any.

While they are choosing not to the rest of us are getting our fair share along with theirs too.

 

[OphidiaPhile]

First -- it doesn't matter how many people do it. It doesn't make it right. Andit doesn't matter if your doctor or Pastor do it -- they might be wrong, too.

Second, the Bible says that in marriage man and woman become of one flesh and that nothing should separate that; that is to say, they become of one flesh through their sexual bond.

We are also told to enter our marriage to control our sexual urges, by Paul, and what have you done to control your sexual urges if you treat your marriage as open to engaging in even more widespread sexual extravagance?

Sex is just sex and does not have to mean anything more or less, I can completely separate sex and any form of emotion from it whatsoever under any circumstances and no matter who it is with.

 

[Verv]

Sex is just sex and does not have to mean anything more or less, I can completely separate sex and any form of emotion from it whatsoever under any circumstances and no matter who it is with.

I used to do this.

It can leave you emotionally confused to say the least.

You have casual sex. You like a girl, then, and want to be her boyfriend. She continues to have casual sex with you. You work harder for a relationship. It starts happening. But she is a non-commital person. She has casual sex with someone else. Then she wants to have casual sex with you again.

You are emotionally hurt a bit, but you are a man, so you do it anyways. It continues until all semblance of reality falls out from under you.

I cannot divorce emotion from sex if I truly care about someone. And I cannot sleep with other people. And I cannot not be jealous.

And I know there are solutions to this but I think that even when one agrees to the circumstances it still leaves confusion and emotional scars.

It's best not do to this.

 

[OdwinOddball]

Debate all you want, but I fail to see how what others do of their own volition is anyones business but their own. If there were a god, it would then fall to it to decide if such actions are wrong. The opinion of others on this is wholly immaterial.

 

[Jane_the_Bane]

If there were a god, it would then fall to it to decide if such actions are wrong.

Eh?
Why do you think that?
It certainly doesn't make sense to me.
The moral quality of an action is not decided upon, or else it becomes entirely arbitrary.

 

[Angel4Truth]

I would never associate with a woman that considered herself to be the possession of another human being.

Why would you think that would concern me?

 

[Angel4Truth]

I have now met Christians arguing that it is proper to have open marriages.

I mean, really, what am I supposed to say to that?

Christ noted that He would prefer that people go without spouses like him, but if they must control their urges to take a wife or husband. The idea here was to control your urges with your spouse...

Not to embellish them.

Paul is who said it : 1 Corinthians 7

1. Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
5. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
6. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment.
7. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.
8. But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;
9. but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

I cannot believe I actually live ina day and age where someone is telling me that Christians can visit non-idolatrous prostitutes, be a swinger, etc.

I know what you mean about this day and age.

[sarcasm]Anyone is a christian who says they are. Belief in what happened at the cross and belief in the words of scripture are totally irrelevant now.

Satan believes in God, and even the demons believe and tremble so these days they must also be christians. [/sarcasm]

The bible warns about calling evil good and good evil here:

Isaiah 5:20 Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

 

[quatona]

I used to do this.

It can leave you emotionally confused to say the least.

You have casual sex. You like a girl, then, and want to be her boyfriend. She continues to have casual sex with you. You work harder for a relationship. It starts happening. But she is a non-commital person. She has casual sex with someone else. Then she wants to have casual sex with you again.

You are emotionally hurt a bit, but you are a man, so you do it anyways. It continues until all semblance of reality falls out from under you.

I cannot divorce emotion from sex if I truly care about someone. And I cannot sleep with other people. And I cannot not be jealous.

And I know there are solutions to this but I think that even when one agrees to the circumstances it still leaves confusion and emotional scars.

It's best not do to this.

In view of your inabilities you describe here I tend to agree that it´s best for you not to do this.

 

[Morcova]

I think its exceedingly grand to belong to my husband.

That's too bad, maybe one day you'll realize you're a person and not property.

 

[Morcova]

Why would you think that would concern me?

For the same reason you thought your opinion would concern us.

 

[CreedIsChrist]

Ive been arguing with a person that says that swingers are blessed by God

I really cant believe this
But the worst thing is that ive been searching the internet looking for proofs against this, but ive not been able to find something good enough to help him think that this is tottaly wrong in the eyes of god

Heres one of his answers

adultery means : breaking a covenant...as Israel often did with God and were called adulterous for it. When referring to a married couple, it has to do with breaking the marriage covenant. My wife and I have agreed to share each other exclusively with another couple who are our best friends. We are not breaking our marriage covenant because we are not covenanting against sharing each other with our poly lovers. It is wonderful, and blessed by God.



wt??

This is one of the reasons WHY the justification of sin is so dangerous. Because first they believe that they're favorite sin isn't really sin anymore, and then they really go off the edge and start saying that they're sin is actually a GIFT FROM GOD.

When they reach that point it becomings saddening, because it seems they have become so enticed by sin that it has caused them to lose they're own self-reason and abate they're conscious.

Use this as an example of why sin is so horrible and devious. It shows you how deplorable sin is and the effects it causes to people who are far into it. It shows you the tools Satan uses on people in his hold. This man may be so far into his sin that no words may convince him and only prayer. Some people do eventually turn around(for instance the person who created contraception finally after decades recanted that what he had done was wrong) but it seems to take a while before they ever do.

 

[ranmaonehalf]

I think its exceedingly grand to belong to my husband.

So you would be fine by following the bible examples and letting your husband send you to other men to pay debts or beat your or etc...?

 

[ranmaonehalf]

1. Do you have sources for anything? They cited a specific chapter and verse.


2. I realize that swinging couples wouldn't think so, but most of the rest of married folk would agree that it's sick.

3. Committing adultery is a sin. There are issues of trust and honesty, as well as issues of disease (AIDS, HIV, etc.) that come up with sharing partners.

1. read your bible.
2. speak for your self.
3. sin is your deal not theirs. trust and honesty is in swinger couples. no problem there. disease is also a problem even in monogomous couples.
And safe sex includes knowing your and your partners health and history.

 

[Stellar Vision]

This is one of the reasons WHY the justification of sin is so dangerous. Because first they believe that they're favorite sin isn't really sin anymore, and then they really go off the edge and start saying that they're sin is actually a GIFT FROM GOD.

When they reach that point it becomings saddening, because it seems they have become so enticed by sin that it has caused them to lose they're own self-reason and abate they're conscious.

Use this as an example of why sin is so horrible and devious. It shows you how deplorable sin is and the effects it causes to people who are far into it. It shows you the tools Satan uses on people in his hold. This man may be so far into his sin that no words may convince him and only prayer. Some people do eventually turn around(for instance the person who created contraception finally after decades recanted that what he had done was wrong) but it seems to take a while before they ever do.

That is in no way convincing. All we are told by Christians is:

swinging = bad for the soul

HOW??? How is swinging bad for the soul
Think about this analogous claim

touching a hot stove = bad for the flesh

What is the mechanism at work here that makes this statement true. Guess what, it's NOT "Because I said so." That's what your parents told you when you were young, but that is a wholly incomplete explanation. Equally so is "Because the Bible says so."


What is the mechanism at work here? For the latter claim, when flesh touches a hot stovetop an exceedingly large amount of heat energy is transferred to the epidermal layer of the skin causing destruction of that tissue - during this process the nerve cells in that area send impulses of extreme pain to the brain which is perceived as a negative sensation.


We know none of the mechanics behind the soul, and are thus unable to offer sound explanations for why God would or would not bless a swinging couple.

 

[CreedIsChrist]

That is in no way convincing. All we are told by Christians is:

swinging = bad for the soul

HOW??? How is swinging bad for the soul
Think about this analogous claim

touching a hot stove = bad for the flesh

What is the mechanism at work here that makes this statement true. Guess what, it's NOT "Because I said so." That's what your parents told you when you were young, but that is a wholly incomplete explanation. Equally so is "Because the Bible says so."


What is the mechanism at work here? For the latter claim, when flesh touches a hot stovetop an exceedingly large amount of heat energy is transferred to the epidermal layer of the skin causing destruction of that tissue - during this process the nerve cells in that area send impulses of extreme pain to the brain which is perceived as a negative sensation.


We know none of the mechanics behind the soul, and are thus unable to offer sound explanations for why God would or would not bless a swinging couple.

By what presupossitional authority do you base such an assumption on?

You talk about mechanics. Yet you proceed to tell us the mechanics of why people don't understand the soul. By what presupposition can you base such a thing?

 

[The Nihilist]

This thread is awesome

 

[Stellar Vision]

By what presupossitional authority do you base such an assumption on?

WHAT?!

You talk about mechanics. Yet you proceed to tell us the mechanics of why people don't understand the soul. By what presupposition can you base such a thing?

...Alright so your trying to ask me how we can be sure that we, in fact, do not know the mechanics behind the soul?

A lack of data.

When doctors make conclusions about how the mind/body works, they almost always make them using the data they've collected.

 

[Garyzenuf]

but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Well, I hope that puts the whole 'marriage is for procreation only' argument to rest once and for all.

*

 

[Autumnleaf]

Swingers are committing adultery by definition which throws any argument that God is okay with it right out the window.