please help me

[amyrenee]

hi, I have been saved now for 5 years and walking with Jesus....I have a situation that I've been praying about and still don't know what to do...I'm in a wedding of an old friend from high school...I graduated 8 years ago and have changed enormously but some of the girls in the wedding party are still very "high schoolish" and like to go to bars and clubs to hang out. The bachelorette party is this weekend and they all want to go away to the city to party( I guess go to bars and such).The bride to be has said in the past, after my salvation , that I make her uncomfortable with my "new way". It's the kind of situation that I think I was asked to be in the wedding because she was in mine. I said yes to her because I love her and care about her still, we were once great friends.
So my question is..should I go along with them this weekend, take care of them, be a light to them..or should I stay home with my husband and 2 kids ( I am also the only one with children). My comfort zone is to stay at home but I don't want to look like a snob, that I'm too good to go with them. Also Jesus went among the people, not distanced himself from them.... Please help me to see a Christian woman's perspective on how to be a loving , kind friend but also not compromise my Faith. Thank you for your love and time...

 

[Alternate Carpark]

A lot of your concerns are based on assumption and not fact regarding her motives for asking you and what will happen at the bach. party.

But you are concerned about the feelings of your friend which is a wonderful thing.

There is nothing wrong with you discusssing your new life choices with her and asking her about her reasons for asking to to be a part of her wedding,
seeing as you already know she is a bit uncomfortable with your new life.

And it does say that we ARE a peculiar people now when we are saved, so being labeled 'whatever' is part of the walk isn't it.
Of course people are going to label us with some negative title when we stop indulging in the things that they regard as okay.

You have gloriously been moved out of a pointless life into one of purpose and fulfillment,
and people will always feel judged about their life if you do not agree or join in with them.

If your friend knows of your new life and is willing to discuss her reasons for including you into her wedding,
that will clear up any doubts you may have about that,
and if she can understand your reluctance to join in the party, then there shouldn't be any hassle with that either.
It's all about each side respecting each others life choices now.

Share your heart with her regarding this situation and hopefully she will share her heart.
There is always a sense of awkwardness when two differing lifestyles meet.
And openness and understanding of each others beliefs\standards should relieve much of the emotional turmoil surrounding them.

And do not be dismayed or alarmed IF the friendship dies out because you are now saved.
Your whole world is constantly changing because you now are living a new life.

First and foremost, you honour God with your life regardless of what people think of you.
Secondly, you love others as you love yourself.
If you feel out of place at the bach party, then explaining your reasons to your friend is an openness she may appreciate,
then she may realise that it woul be wrong of her to put you in that kind of situation in the first place.

It is respect and grace from both sides of the fence isn't it.
If she wants to carry on like a little kid and say you are being silly or judgemental, then that's her choice to feel that way isn't it.

The main thing is you remain true to God and to yourself.

 

[ShetlandRose]

When we are contemplating what to do in a questionable situation and worried if something is sinful or not, and that peace that is inside our heart disappears, we know the Holy Spirit is saying that this path is wrong. If you feel troubled, or that something may be wrong, if there is a question in your mind about it, and you feel pangs of conscience, then do not do it.

 

[HumbleBee]

Hugs amyrenee!

Believing tiz wise for you to stay home with your hubby & kiddies. God is love and He wants you to be where love is! Plus trying to be a Christian light to a bunch of worldly girls already set on getting drunk would be casting your pearls before swine. Surmising you don't really wanna fit in with a group like that do you? They would probably purposely choose extreme shanigans just to shock you out of your, in their view, so-called uptightness. Them girls are as grasshoppers in God's sight! Therefore what He thinks of you is way more important than their miscontrued opinions of you.

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you...in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people." "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." "I will be a Father to you, and you will be My sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."

 

[HumbleBee]

double posted lol

 

[Iktomi]

I agree. I personally would not go. Your friend should understand your decision. I don't think this is the same thing as Jesus going among sinners. We are to be IN the world but not OF the world. I don't believe that the environment you would be in (one I have spent much time in, too, BTW) is condusive to ministry. One, you would be fighting noise, alcohol and men. These are going to take a precedent in this environment.
What about asking your friend if the two of you could do something separately? Maybe go out to dinner and spend some time together in which you can enjoy eachother's friendship? That's what I would probably do.

 

[J.A.I]

I wouldn't go... I remember one of the reverends at my old church talking about being a thermometer or a thermostat.

A thermometer is changed by its atmosphere.
A thermostat changes its atmosphere.

Now, if you know you can be a thermostat, then by all means go ahead, but like Shetland said, if you feel an unease about going, listen to that. God will always give you unmistakable peace about decisions that He wants you to make.

Discuss your new life w/the bride. If she doesn't agree and doesn't understand, so be it. Nothing should hinder you in your Christian life, regardless of the relationship - family or friend.