please...help...crying for help...crying for God...all because of one little sin...

[Cruzado Diecisiete]

i beg everyone here that you wont judge me...that isnt going to help me any...

i met a girl online, and i dont know how i met her (im a 19 aged male going to be a youth pastor) in october 2003, fell in love with her november 2003, told 2 people about it, they believe it's not love...but i feel in my heart that it is love...

we grew extremely close online over a period of months, in about april i felt a desire to talk about each others reproductive parts...at first i thought it would be okay...so we did, and it went on from there, closer, and closer, and closer, and closer we became sexually, and i have a webcamera and a digital camera (yes...unfortunately they were used for immoral purposes) and she had pictures taken a long time ago (immoral as well) she is a christian too

and over the phone it was sexually themed...and you can imagine what happened then and there...

about in early june i began to feel less and less love for her, i felt as if i dont feel the love for her (shes 17) and i felt empty

i knew another girl who is 19 and is also a christian, and she jokes around a lot, and she knew i was going to be a youth pastor and knew about the girl i loved online (both of these girls i havnt met online) and the 19 year old knew i was a strong christian of faith...and the 19 year old jokingly talked about throwing me in a bath...and then it got to removing of clothes (online) and now me and the 19 year old have done the same things (excluding phone, she wont call me) done with the 17 year old...and i told the 17 year old what happened...she was extremely upset in me...that me and the 19 year old had it happen twice (full sexual conversation)...

i feel so far away from God ...i need Him back in my life, i want to go back to how i was, living for God...and to think one little sin started this...that i almost lost the 17 year old, of whom i love, and she loves me...but the 19 year old claims she loves me...HELP...

 

[XVII]

i hate having to edit these

 

[LynneClomina]

i beg everyone here that you wont judge me...that isnt going to help me any...

i met a girl online, and i dont know how i met her (im a 19 aged male going to be a youth pastor) in october 2003, fell in love with her november 2003, told 2 people about it, they believe it's not love...but i feel in my heart that it is love...

we grew extremely close online over a period of months, in about april i felt a desire to talk about each others reproductive parts...at first i thought it would be okay...so we did, and it went on from there, closer, and closer, and closer, and closer we became sexually, and i have a webcamera and a digital camera (yes...unfortunately they were used for immoral purposes) and she had pictures taken a long time ago (immoral as well) she is a christian too

and over the phone it was sexually themed...and you can imagine what happened then and there...

about in early june i began to feel less and less love for her, i felt as if i dont feel the love for her (shes 17) and i felt empty

i knew another girl who is 19 and is also a christian, and she jokes around a lot, and she knew i was going to be a youth pastor and knew about the girl i loved online (both of these girls i havnt met online) and the 19 year old knew i was a strong christian of faith...and the 19 year old jokingly talked about throwing me in a bath...and then it got to removing of clothes (online) and now me and the 19 year old have done the same things (excluding phone, she wont call me) done with the 17 year old...and i told the 17 year old what happened...she was extremely upset in me...that me and the 19 year old had it happen twice (full sexual conversation)...

i feel so far away from God ...i need Him back in my life, i want to go back to how i was, living for God...and to think one little sin started this...that i almost lost the 17 year old, of whom i love, and she loves me...but the 19 year old claims she loves me...HELP...

wow. you've gotten in deep, eh?

don't fear, with full repentance there is FULL restoration of your relationship with God. and repentance literally means to turn 180 degrees and go the opposite direction. you need to STOP.

talk to someone you know about this, your pastor or someone in chuch ministry or spiritual mentor, and become accountable to him. you NEED to expose the sin in your life so that the light of Christ will shine on it and do His cleansing work.

get rid of your webcam and whatever messaging you use, and make sure you are not able to access immoral websites.

stop contact with those girls. tell them you need time to heal and restore your relationship with God. if one of them is meant to be your wife, they will come into your life at a later date, when it's God's time for you. ask their forgiveness for engaging in such behaviour, and ask them to seek help for themselves. and then do not contact them, the tempation to fall again would be too likely. surround yourself with godly men who will counsel you and mentor you.

i suspect you feel "driven" to do what you are doing, i know it's been like that for me in the past. like you cant stop yourself. that's a fairly good sign that there is spiritual involvement if that is the case; and by that i mean that the kingdom of darkness is waging war against you to bring you down. but if you draw near to God, He will draw near to you, and He will wage war on the darkness for you. "the LORD rebuke you", someone in the bible said, to the enemy. if you are seeking to be in the ministry, you need to become fully accountable to your pastor. be humble and go to him and tell him you need help to be restored.

"if we walk in the light as He is in the light we have fellowship one with another..." get your sins into the light, ok? if is stays in the shadows, the shadows will get deeper and darker and harder to dispel.... the sooner the better, and it's not too late!!!

if you do not know what to say to your pastor, print out this thread and take it to him and ask him to read it, or email it to him, and get it DONE so you won't back out. it's a hard thing to do, but you MUST.

take care and keep talking to us here, ok? looking forward to an update.

lynne

 

[XVII]

i hate having to change these

 

[Missy Baby]

PLEASE don't do it again. It seems to me that they are good for you anyhow, like they didn't care how strong in faith you are, they are your temptations. Look for guidance from Him from above. How strong in faith are you right now? Be careful and don't let it happen again, for you are causing harm to not just one but 4 people in the process.
1. Our Heavenly Father
2. Yourself
3. the 19 year old
4. the 17 year old

God Bless

 

[christdriven]

I am so sorry that your struggling with this. Its never fun to sin once and than have it snowball on you like that. My advice for you, is to stop it all together. To stop all contact with the 19 yr old. She obviously isnt helping you, your relationship with God, or your relationship with the 17 yr old. She isnt helping you be pure, or faithful to your other girl friend. Maybe you should bring up your pain and concern to the 17 yr old. Tell her how much you care, how much you want to get your life and your sexual sin straightened out. And your relationship with God back on track. Tell her that you know you're sinning against God and against her and that you want it to be fixed. Ask for her forgiveness for what you have done with the 19 yr old (im sure you have) but also ask her to forgive you for engaging in the sexual immoral behaviour you both have indulged in. Maybe you should get some help from a mentor in your church, someone who can help you through the process of healing, and through the process of staying pure. Its going to be hard, but you can do it! God still loves you, no matter what you've done. But when asking for forgiveness, you need to be genuine. You can still have an amazing and wonderful relationship with God. You just need to have the strength and courage to get past this mountain in your life. Maybe this girl, isnt even the one girl you're meant to be with. God could have someone completely different in store for your future. So because of that, you really dont have any right to be this sexually active with her, you arent married. God will hear your cry... and he will help you through this, if you allow him to.
God Bless, and I am praying for yoU!

 

[bliz]

Do you really wish to stop doing this? Get rid of your computer.

You have discovered that you can be very easily tempted and led into sin through this tool. You are simply not to be trusted with it. So, if you mean business, get rid of it. (You can have someone you trust put it under lock and key.)

If you are not willing to take this step, you don't seriously want to stop.

 

[Missy Baby]

In my earlier post, i meant "they are not good for you" sorry for my bad.
But i hope you are considering on stopping any contact with them.

God Bless you

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Sometimes we allow ourselves to get into bad situations because we think our faith makes us bulletproof.
You've now learned this lesson like most of us have had to learn it: the hard way.

Maybe a break from girls would help till you got your head on straight again?

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're just living life. It's not necessarily the stupid things we do so much as whether or not we choose to learn from them.
Same for the girls too.

 

[Maharg]

I've been in a situation recently where I have been drawn further and further from my faith, and it started with leaving too little time aside for being with God, and caring more about what people think than God think. This snowballing of sin has probably happened to all of us. When we recognise it we can change it, but only if we allow God to forgive us, and stop harbouring guilt about the situation. God has already forgiven you - and that is probably the hardest thing to understand. But He has forgiven you and He loves you. I have removed myself from the situation that was harmful to me and am working on my relationship with God in order to give me the strength to go back and face it - I'm still finding it hard to accept God's forgivenes for the situation. I wonder if you can remove yourself from your situation for a while to and focus on God's love for and forgiveness of you.

A cyberhug from me to you. Hope this helps.

maharg

 

[HomeChicklet]

well... ummmmm hes not the only one to struggle with this.... i too have done the same on the computer and the phone all with the same guy... i am a 14 female that starts highschool in a lil over a month.... the guy was 15 already in highschool and we talked alllll the time.... the first time we met he was with my best friend and somehow got with me after they broke up... he knew i was liking him but i didnt mean to ruin my bestfriends relationship and i did.... so thats my first conviction from this... the day before christmas eve he began speaking of what he would do to me if i was there it became strongly sexual and really bothered me... so i told my friend who told his dad for me.... well he was punished and in jan. my hormones i guess took over... i asked for it to happen again... it happened several times after that... in feb. the kid died... he was part of CF and this is where i met his dad .... in april i found out that... this kid never existed..... i mean i had talked on the phone and computer with him... had pics and millions of others knew him from this ver site.... well.... really.... he as a 41 y/o man that is very sick in the head..... i hate that this happened,.... now i struggle with all kinds of sexual desires... i also fite to keep myself from giving into a guy.... so i dont date much.... i try to avoid being alone with one... i really wish this had never happened to me .... now i have three problems.... dealing with that i did and how to get over.... struggling with sexual urges... and staying here because i am scared there are more than one of these guys..... i love CF but now im skeptical of ever being on the computer with ppl i dont know.... i no longer talk to the guy who was supposedly was this kids father who really is the kid and the father.... i just know that i dont want to be judged or hated for what i am.... and i want to get over every part of it... if you could please all pray for me i would greatly appreciate it... thanks a bunch

 

[aChristiancalledCameron]

Remember how our lord said , let he who is without sin cast the first stone, the lord knew that the rules would be broken but they would guide people through life, think of these not as rules punished by harshness but forgiven by the love of our lord jesus. what the others have pointed out can be good moves to. also god is there for you all the time whenever you need support whether it be through prayer, churchworkers or other he can always support you. he will allow you to be safe nomatter what you have done as long as you are sorry. you WILL be okay as most of us have sinned, I know i have and most of you probably have, but we have been guided here, WE HAVE been forgiven and the lord has a very clear idea of what he wants to happen.
God Bless.
Amen.