Hello, I really need support, advice and mostly, prayer.
I've been with my husband since we were teens and had been good friends for years before. We have a 7 yo son together. I've always been a Catholic, he was an atheist. The first years of living together together were difficult. We even separated for a full year. When we got back together he begun to go to church (it was good own choice) and confessed that the problem we had before were because he had a life long pen addiction that even escalated to having a sexual affair. I learned all of this by his confession when he became a christian 5 years ago.
Now, he has been a much better spouse and we even married by the church 4 years ago. He now belongs to a few church groups and is considered a leader in them.
He is also a good provider, the problem is that, even though he has had therapy and inappropriate content / sex addiction support inside and outside the church... inappropriate content and the les that come with it WON'T EVER STOP. As far as I now... he hasn't had affairs after his conversion and he even asked me to search for and install an accountability app in his devices to help him overcome inappropriate content addiction.
The thing is that last night I saw something weird in his accountability report and asked him about it. It turns out he stopped visiting inappropriate content sites but had a lot of man relatives that share a lot of inappropriate content in their social media and now my husband has access to the content through their profiles. He always promises to confess when he falls into temptation but 80% of the time is ME who finds out through the accountability app and that makes me so angry. I can help and support him in his addiction because I am certain that he is treating it and going to groups and therapy. But I just can't stand one more lie.
Bedides that, he is a good, caring husband, but he knows that the lies and his addiction kill me. I am SO tired, more because of the lies than the addiction. I an so scared because I CAN SEE that HE DOES search for help... but 5 years after we are still in the sme place and NOTHING works.
I am considering separation and even divorce. I cannot see an ending to this, we've tried everything. What should I do ?!?!
I've been with my husband since we were teens and had been good friends for years before. We have a 7 yo son together. I've always been a Catholic, he was an atheist. The first years of living together together were difficult. We even separated for a full year. When we got back together he begun to go to church (it was good own choice) and confessed that the problem we had before were because he had a life long pen addiction that even escalated to having a sexual affair. I learned all of this by his confession when he became a christian 5 years ago.
Now, he has been a much better spouse and we even married by the church 4 years ago. He now belongs to a few church groups and is considered a leader in them.
He is also a good provider, the problem is that, even though he has had therapy and inappropriate content / sex addiction support inside and outside the church... inappropriate content and the les that come with it WON'T EVER STOP. As far as I now... he hasn't had affairs after his conversion and he even asked me to search for and install an accountability app in his devices to help him overcome inappropriate content addiction.
The thing is that last night I saw something weird in his accountability report and asked him about it. It turns out he stopped visiting inappropriate content sites but had a lot of man relatives that share a lot of inappropriate content in their social media and now my husband has access to the content through their profiles. He always promises to confess when he falls into temptation but 80% of the time is ME who finds out through the accountability app and that makes me so angry. I can help and support him in his addiction because I am certain that he is treating it and going to groups and therapy. But I just can't stand one more lie.
Bedides that, he is a good, caring husband, but he knows that the lies and his addiction kill me. I am SO tired, more because of the lies than the addiction. I an so scared because I CAN SEE that HE DOES search for help... but 5 years after we are still in the sme place and NOTHING works.
I am considering separation and even divorce. I cannot see an ending to this, we've tried everything. What should I do ?!?!
