Please don't read me another scripture.

[peeday]

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I can't take it no more.

 

[-Luca]

What happens in your night terrors?

 

[AlexDTX]

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I can't take it no more.

You have my sympathy. People think God is responsible for everything and He is not. There are many forces at work in our lives which are the result of this sinful fallen world of mankind. The promises of God are not magic formulas to get what we want, only declarations of his will. We still have the responsibility to live wisely and to walk in faith regarding His will. If we draw near to Him He will draw near to us tells us that his behavior towards us is responsive to us. We submit to God then resist the devil for the devil to flee shows that responsibility given to us, too.

I wish you the very best.

 

[Dave G.]

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed. The idea of getting on my knees is laughable. How can he allow me to fall so low, yet again... Night terrors... if someone reads me another scripture.. or tells me how much He loves me.. I will shudder. this is not a life worth living.
I am tired reading God's promises, it hurts even more. He has deceived me. I am done. I can't take it no more.

Ok, so what is your alternative ? To toss God and embrace the master of all the things you are experiencing ? Does that make perfect sense to you ? I would submit to you that weak faith makes all that the enemy delivers all the more perceptive because he knows he almost has you beat, he is turning up the deception. Not God , God is not deceiving you, the master of deceit is Satan and you are falling right into his trap.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[drjean]

My friend you are in such distress and I understand this darkness. Please do not push away the Answer. God is right beside you, whispering to you. This life is not worth living without Him, I know, I've been "there". Do not believe the evil that surrounds you, it has no good in mind. BUT GOD calls to you, go to Him and find relief. You have not always been in such a dark place, and you will not always be there... do not think on the bad feelings but find what used to give you joy and think again on them... with God's help my friend, with God's help.

 

[StormSpotter]

I totally understand how you feel. I am feeling the same way.

 

[paul1149]

Broken, incomplete, abandoned, alone, terrified, frustrated, depressed.

As per your request, no scriptures, and no citing how much He loves you. But I've been in some truly horrendous situations, and know what it's like. I would hate to go through them without believing that God is in them with me. I might not know all the why's of what I'm experiencing, but that transcendent belief makes all the difference.

 

[YesMe]

Have you ever read the story of Job? Your words are his words, more or less.He was in a situation similar like yours, He demanded a conversation with God, face to face, and he received that conversation.Job believed that God was wrong for all the bad things happened in his life, he was a good man, how could on Earth lose everything, his entire family, all his treasure.Broken, at the end of his powers, he demanded for a conversation with God, but in all of this, he had faith in God, that no matter what, good or bad, he knew that God is still there and it will always be.His great faith made God to come from Heavens just to talk with him.

Like my fellow members, we understand how it feels, every day, more or less, we found ourselves in similar situations, it's important to not give up!! Last night I had around 5 horrible nightmares, but I am still here, telling you that you are not alone and you will never be alone.

 

[Little Lantern]

Confusion and deception are not from God. They are from Satan.

 

[Waggles]

@peeday
Your profile info says that you are Pentecostal - that is filled with the indwelling Holy Spirit
and praying in tongues.
So what has happened for you to lose using the power of God within you, and to end up
in this miserable state??

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Admin Hat
Moved from Struggles by non-Christians to Pentecostal & Assemblies of God​

 

[quietbloke]

'Peeday'. We are here to help you. You can get through. We are praying for you.

 

[peeday]

Ok, so what is your alternative ? To toss God and embrace the master of all the things you are experiencing ? Does that make perfect sense to you ? I would submit to you that weak faith makes all that the enemy delivers all the more perceptive because he knows he almost has you beat, he is turning up the deception. Not God , God is not deceiving you, the master of deceit is Satan and you are falling right into his trap.

You sound confused right now, but don't give up on Jesus Christ/God Almighty. From your post, I can't tell exactly what is wrong. You stated that you are "broken". The NT shows that Jesus Christ is good at making people whole again.

My friend you are in such distress and I understand this darkness. Please do not push away the Answer. God is right beside you, whispering to you. This life is not worth living without Him, I know, I've been "there". Do not believe the evil that surrounds you, it has no good in mind. BUT GOD calls to you, go to Him and find relief. You have not always been in such a dark place, and you will not always be there... do not think on the bad feelings but find what used to give you joy and think again on them... with God's help my friend, with God's help.

As per your request, no scriptures, and no citing how much He loves you. But I've been in some truly horrendous situations, and know what it's like. I would hate to go through them without believing that God is in them with me. I might not know all the why's of what I'm experiencing, but that transcendent belief makes all the difference.

Have you ever read the story of Job? Your words are his words, more or less.He was in a situation similar like yours, He demanded a conversation with God, face to face, and he received that conversation.Job believed that God was wrong for all the bad things happened in his life, he was a good man, how could on Earth lose everything, his entire family, all his treasure.Broken, at the end of his powers, he demanded for a conversation with God, but in all of this, he had faith in God, that no matter what, good or bad, he knew that God is still there and it will always be.His great faith made God to come from Heavens just to talk with him.

Like my fellow members, we understand how it feels, every day, more or less, we found ourselves in similar situations, it's important to not give up!! Last night I had around 5 horrible nightmares, but I am still here, telling you that you are not alone and you will never be alone.

Confusion and deception are not from God. They are from Satan.

@peeday
Your profile info says that you are Pentecostal - that is filled with the indwelling Holy Spirit
and praying in tongues.
So what has happened for you to lose using the power of God within you, and to end up
in this miserable state??

'Peeday'. We are here to help you. You can get through. We are praying for you.

Does God handle our emotions- He gave them to us right? Our Anger, doubt, fear, questions, grief and even complains.


Job 7 vs 11 TEV
“I can't be quiet! I am angry and bitter. I have to speak.”

Previously, the answer to the problem of God feeling distant was to spend more time in prayer and reading the Bible. If you feel distant from God, the saying went, guess who moved? Well this time I get the feeling that God had done the moving.

Why does reading the Bible seem like it is harming my faith more than it was helping and even prayer is becoming more of a problem than a solution .

Previously, spending more time in prayer made me feel closer, Now, however, I find myself shortening prayer sessions, lest I do more damage to my faith. The longer I am praying, the more I feel like I am talking to the ceiling or myself.

Many a times, I am like, OK God, I have had enough, when are you going to stop pouring it on.!? If you can't take better care of us, why should we bother following you? I QUIT.
But then again, I am crying and begging him to not leave me, to help and then after like a mood swing I am like No he is not listening. We are afterall not equal in his sight, he is got preferences.

Forgive me people, I know I am complaining too much, I know a lot has been said to me to encourage me. But this feeling. THIS FEELING. Wouldn't he just say something, just anything at all. He speaks right? I just need to feel him somehow, you know what I mean, don't you?
You know how you feel when you talk to a friend about a thing and the relieve that follows? Then how much more a father but why wouldn't he just say something or do something. Just a conviction somehow. I wish you understand what I mean.
You do understand what I mean somehow right? Yes you do.
I am not sure what to say no more.
How else do you pray?

 

[Dave G.]

I honestly feel demons have been released that even the saints might be deceived if it were possible in this time. You aren't the only one I've heard complain of this. In these times we all the more have to keep our eyes on Jesus. Trust in Him.

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[Little Lantern]

@peeday, I don't know how long you have been suffering with this feeling of abandonment or what kind of relationship you had with the LORD before this happened, so this response may or may not be of help to you.

I've been walking with the LORD many years and have gone through times when I couldn't find God. I would search and search to find what the problem was-- Was there a sin I was holding onto? Did I have unforgiveness toward someone? Was I dragging my feet on something God had asked me to do? Was I disobeying Him somewhere? -- and the list went on and on--- The agony was horrific and seemed unending.

Looking back, I realize that (in my case, at least) the LORD was using those times to s-t-r-e-t-c-h my faith, to enable me to learn that even if I could not feel Him, I could (and would) believe by faith that He was there because He had said He would never leave us or forsake us. For me to learn that in my core, I had to go through those times of feeling separated from Him although in reality He was right there with me. Now, when He seems quiet, I still check my heart to make sure all is right, but I no longer get anxious about the silence because I know by experience He's right there. I have learned to trust His love and His faithfulness; I have learned to trust Him.

If you've ever volunteered in a church nursery, you've seen this reality in children. The children come to the nursery happy and smiling . . . until . . . Mommy leaves!!! They can't see her!! They can't hear her voice!! They can't FEEL her!!! They think she's left them for good-- abandoned them!! They scream. They cry. They are in agony.

As these children get a little older, they learn by experience that Mom may leave them here or there at times, but she'll be back. They have learned to trust that she's their Mom whether she's with them or not, and that her love for them has not changed even when she is away for a time. They have learned to trust in their Mom's love and faithfulness.

If you are His child, you can trust His love and faithfulness toward you whether you feel Him or not. If you are His child, your relationship with Him is not based on feelings. It is based on His Word which never fails. He is faithful.

My prayer for you- "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13 NASB

 

[paul1149]

Why does reading the Bible seem like it is harming my faith more than it was helping and even prayer is becoming more of a problem than a solution .

Forgive me people, I know I am complaining too much, I know a lot has been said to me to encourage me. But this feeling. THIS FEELING. Wouldn't he just say something, just anything at all. He speaks right?

Hello again, peeday,
First of all, I believe you are sincere with what you have written. I have been there myself, with the same feelings, wondering what on earth it would take to get breakthrough, because it seemed impossible.

You are absolutely correct that one can get to a place where Bible reading, and even prayer, seems to do nothing, and even to make us feel further from God than we were. Indeed, all our efforts become futile. This is true, and there is a reason for it. As Hebrews 4 says, the ancient Israelites had the same problem. They heard the word of God, but it did not profit them, because it was not mixed with faith in their hearts.

I am not criticizing you on that. We all are cut from the same cloth. The dynamic of coming to a brick wall in built right into God's course on discipleship. We don't have to hit it, of course, but we often do because we have soulishness we haven't dealt with.

So what's the antidote? Faith. When you hit the wall of futility, where all your efforts are for naught, it's time to affirm the sovereignty and goodness of God. Heb 11.6 tells us the kind of faith that pleases God is that which believes He is God (He is able to save), and He is good (He wants to save).

Enter God's rest through faith (Heb 4, Mt 11.28ff). This will mean letting go of your efforts, your expectations of how He has to answer. That's what happened to Job. God showed up when everyone was done with their complaints and defenses, and He never did choose to engage at their level. He simply asserted His sovereignty and goodness. And Job's response was absolutely correct:: he put his hand over his mouth and repented in humility. And he was healed and restored.

My advice is to do the same. Allow God to be God. Bow your heart before Him in faith, a faith that says that even if you can't feel Him, or see Him working in your life, you are going to place trust in Him, and that in due time He will pull you out of your present circumstances. It's total surrender "ahead of time", before the deliverance.

Basically, it comes down to always looking for the best way to honor God, no matter what you're going through. I believe that when we do that, God is free to respond in the way that is best for us, because He finds fertile soil in our hearts.

 

[drjean]

I won't debate who gave us emotions ( Jesus wept) but we do have them, don't we?
And sometimes they help us and sometimes not... and sometimes the same chemicals are dumped whether we're in good spirit or not (like for stress...happy excited time or fearful...)

How long have you felt out of control emotions? How long has it been since you realized God is with you? Sometimes we think "forever!" when it may be a short time that feels long.

Feelings will let you down; they are not always truth and they really aren't trustworthy.
God might be silent, He often is, but He's always "there" whether we sense His Presence or not.

At times when He is silent, for me, it's a time to evaluate my faith. How lonely am I? How much faith do I have to continue until He shows Himself again? What can I learn from this silence? Does this change my direction, should it?

Maybe ask God some of those type of questions... see where that leads?

 

[quietbloke]

Good advice from friends here and much prayer for 'peeday'. We are rooting for you