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Please critic!!!!

Redstiletto

It's just me, always has been, always will be.
Mar 31, 2005
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Here are a few of my recent poems, please be deadly honest and tell me what you think!!!!

Happy Ever After

The tragedy that is
a fairy tale gone wrong
The happy ever after
that never did belong.

Hopelessly she waits
for a prince who will never come
Staring out the window
knowing what her fate has become

To get pelted like a palper
a poor rich girl so it seems
Daddy's only daughter
silently she screams

The wicked witch
cackles downstairs
As the evil king
sits planning their affairs

Her body goes numb
as they enter her room
Closing her eyes
The lock her in her tomb

Her cries go unheard
like many times before
Fear runs through her
as her body hits the floor

The tragedy that is
a fairy tale gone wrong
the happy ever after
that never did belong

Nic




Do You See

Like a volcano of curiosity
your eyes bore into my soul
making my knees shake
eventually making me lose control

You speak to me so softly
like a feather in a pile of straw
so kind and so gentle
filling me with a great sense of awe

Is this all a joke
are you words sincere
do you plan on hurting me
or are things not as they appear

I've never opened up before
to anyone anywhere
if I bore my secrets to you
would you even care

For now I will stay a mystery
afraid to let you know the real me
no one can know what you already do
but someday everyone will see.

Nic





Cinderella

A new generation
Years after the last
Sitting in a new location
Reality hits a bit to fast.

Like a slap in the face
You realize your fate
Everybody has their place
Run before it’s to late

There is no charming prince
At the end of this tale
You won’t find the evidence
When this story goes stale

No longer locked in a palace
In a far away kingdom
This story is not quite malice
As it continues to the beat of its own drum

Alone and cold
This Cinderella sits
Doing just what she is told
Contemplating calling it quits

There are no cinders in her hearth
This Cinderella has no hope
Wishing her mother had never given birth
She stands solely at the end of her rope

Goodbye Cinderella
There is no fairy God mother
No one true fella
Stuck by yourself, there is no other.

Nic