Playing hard to get...

[churchgoer123]

So if you've read all my other posts, you probably know that I am trying to figure out girl's mentality towards boys.

So my question: Why do girls play "hard to get," and tend to mess around with guys minds? What is the point? Is there an actual reason why girls say what they don't mean to guys? What is the reason that a girl would try and convince a guy (feelings being mutual) that she doesn't like him? I know I may be re-quoting my self from other posts, but I still haven't got a solid answer as to the actual reasons why girls act this way.

Being a man, I prefer the simple ways of love, and not all this pointless "beating around the bush."

I am very confused. Girls.... I need your posts (guys are probably in the same boat as me here)

 

[lady_of_god]

I don't think women really play "hard to get", not the serious ones interested in a relationship anyhow. We aren't messing with your mind, we simply want to know what is going around up there since most guys hardly say a word. I do think that women try to get men to lead things off and have him take the intiative...

For example, women will send off all the cues that they like you but most will not normally say "Hey i like you and you like me, let's go out together." As much as women hate to admit it, we fall back into gender roles.

So i guess essentially we are looking for men to take charge of things.... Just my opinion from my own perspective.

-Lady

 

[the_man]

"hard to get" is not a bad thing. It ensures that a man really wants to pursue a woman. If every woman just fell for every guy that showed moderate interest, would that be a better model?

 

[SelfProtect]

It could be:

1. Fear of rejection; If she acts like she doesn't like you she doesn't have to worry about it being reciprocated.

2. She is not interested but likes to get attention from guys.

3. She has read/heard that guys are hunters and it is their job to pursue/lead the relationship.

4. Has been hurt and is afraid of getting hurt again. She is not in a place where she wants to take the risk.

 

[Starcradle]

Being a man, I prefer the simple ways of love, and not all this pointless "beating around the bush."

As a female, I partake these sentiments. I am simply not equipped to engage in this manner of game-playing. Unfortunately, we live in a society that encourages such behavior. I personally find it quite tiring and unnecessary. Perhaps that makes me "unworldly" or "naive" according to some, yet I am without concern. I desire a man who is not intimidated by my gentle forthrightness and expressive nature.

 

[the_man]

As a female, I partake these sentiments. I am simply not equipped to engage in this manner of game-playing. Unfortunately, we live in a society that encourages such behavior. I personally find it quite tiring and unnecessary. Perhaps that makes me "unworldly" or "naive" according to some, yet I am without concern. I desire a man who is not intimidated by my gentle forthrightness and expressive nature.

Just to differentiate some concepts. Game playing results in nothing. The very term implies that there will be a "loser" of such an activity. However, one cannot deny the 'dance' (not game) that occurs between a man and a woman.

 

[churchgoer123]

Well, if you read my post above, one thing is clear. I didn't say "Do girls play mind games?" I said "Why do girls play mind games?" THEY DO.... I just meant "WHY?"

I am in a situation where this girl really likes me, but she always blocks me on Instant messanger.

Then when I ask her at school "why did you block me" and she says (while laughing and playing with her hair) I didn't block you.

There's more to it than that. I know she likes me. She (and most girls I've met in general) plays games.

I just think they take it too far sometimes.

 

[lady_of_god]

Well, if you read my post above, one thing is clear. I didn't say "Do girls play mind games?" I said "Why do girls play mind games?" THEY DO.... I just meant "WHY?"

I am in a situation where this girl really likes me, but she always blocks me on Instant messanger.

Then when I ask her at school "why did you block me" and she says (while laughing and playing with her hair) I didn't block you.

There's more to it than that. I know she likes me. She (and most girls I've met in general) plays games.

I just think they take it too far sometimes.

Sounds like your dealing with a rather immature bunch of girls... and key word here is "girls". Young ladies and women don't do these sorts of things. If you want to understand her, its best that you just ask her because i don't think anyone could give a reasonable explanation as to why she is acting this way....

-Lady.

 

[ladylike]

This girl in general most probably wants the chase to go on and on..as the post above says, she seems immature but maybe her future actions will prove otherwise?

Just ask her straight out and if she isn't honest or continues to act childish then you would have to question whether you want this game to go on. Maybe that's how she got attention from males when she was little?

 

[gracefaith]

Yeah, it sounds to me like this girl enjoys being chased but doesn't particularly want to get caught. If I were you, I would just come out and ask her. Then either it will finally get somewhere, or she will forced to tell you the truth and you can stop wasting your time.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Mind games are a two-way street. It's not just the girls.

 

[Scottish Joy]

Well, I do see it as a problem. With guys & girls both- there's WAY too much game-playing that goes on in our culture. Ick.

As far as girls go though- it does sound to me like she's immature & needs to grow up a bit before she can take something like this seriously. Attitudes I've seen in friends of mine also are:

A sort of irrational fear of men in general. The type to freak out & think they need to rescue me if I'm off just talking to a guy. Also the type who don't trust their own male relatives... I dunno if it's all in their minds or what. It's weird.

A backwards view that they need to "catch" a guy by making him want to "catch" them.... also kinda weird.

Or, sometimes when a girl thinks a guy likes her, she'll actually back off. I've done this myself. I'm no guy chaser, so I've always thought that any guy paying more than normal attention to me could be "proved" this way. If it's just a crush it'll go away & we can go back to being friends. If he's honest-to-goodness serious about pursuing a relationship other than "just friends", he'll do something about it.

Make any sense??? Guys & girls are soo different it's amazing. If we can realize that & stop pretending we're not, I think we'll avoid alot of confusion.

 

[Cjwinnit]

I am in a situation where this girl really likes me, but she always blocks me on Instant messanger.

Then when I ask her at school "why did you block me" and she says (while laughing and playing with her hair) I didn't block you.

Perhaps she's mentally disabled...

 

[ladylike]

Yeah, she does infact know why she did it, and we want to know, along with the young man!!!

 

[Katty]

For me, I don't think its so much of a "playing hard to get" game but it takes a little more for a guy to intrigue me and to keep me interested. Call it high standards or whatever, nonetheless, I have to be intrigued.

~Katty

 

[MusicMelOU]

One reason that girls do it is because they are trying to mask how much they like you. They don't want to come across as too eager or smother you.