- Dec 4, 2019
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My labs showed a brain infection which may be causing the blue lights in my brain that scare me it says mark of the beast. I worried that I blasphemed and betrayed Jesus but I have been reading my Bible and found John 6 and wow what a passage in the Bible Jesus says he promises not to lose anyone to hell and that it is his fathers will not to lose anyone who believes in him that is an amazing passage that made me realize that Satan can't steal my heart and brain from a yellow cross otherwise Jesus lies and he doesn't lie so what a great passage of hope of eternal security as well as John 10 and Romans 8 and 1 Corinthians 10:13 you can only be tempted what is known to man meaning the yellow cross isn't real or possible biblical to do encouraging stuff.
I watched a free Pilgrims Progress movie yesterday and tonight which was good John Bunyan also saw hell open up and thought he was damned to hell and I can relate that but Jesus got him through it and he wrote Grace Abounding the Chief of Sinners. I got the link from Bible Gateway they are giving it away for free for Co-Vid19 infection it popped up on my e-mail I just signed up for the verses of the day. The Pilgrims Progress tells a great story about Christian on his journey to the Celestial City from the City of Destruction and even he got trapped by Satan's trick on pride he stumbled and got off course and got captured nearly sent back to the city of destruction. Kind of like the yellow cross hallucination has me worried that I am back in sin and failure after loving Jesus for twenty years but Jesus saw him through to the end of his journey.
I realize that the Holy Bible is true so whatever is going on with the blue light and yellow cross isn't reality. I talked to Pastor Nathan he is my spiritual mentor and he told me not to worry I am eternally secure despite my brain condition and me and mom watched Little Country Haven livestream a great message about the tabernacle. I also listened to a song no longer slave by Bethel Music great song inspiring stuff. No Longer A Slave to Fear but A Child of God adopted and can't get unadopted by God or lose your mansion based on John 6, John 10, 1 Corinthian 10:13, Romans 8 all contradict the Blue Light that says Beast and the Yellow Cross in the shower so Satan must of lied about my mansion being destroyed as it doesn't line up with scripture. Jesus doesn't destroy mansion based on John Chapter 6 Jesus does the will of the father to lose no one which includes me in the equation of eternal life. A dream/hallucination is not a sin my pastor tells me the ten minutes in the shower seeing the yellow cross/blue light is not a sin.
What concerns me on the floor it said blasphemy of the Holy Spirit blue light said when I was reading Galatians 5 and that is when the Beast incoming occurred and I saw 666 stomach which scared me and told God if I had 666 would you forgive me and I said paranoid schizophrenic things to God that day on October 9 I hadn't heard his voice or felt his presence
I feel anxiety now and feel condemned to hell as an Antichrist/False Prophet and yet despite seeing hell open up and the yellow light and saying Jesus save me and being told it is too late there is a voice despite the silence that makes me ponder and question I have a certifiable mental illness in scitzphrenia that went diagnosed for 24 years, I have severe brain swelling in Pandas, Autism, OCD Scrupulosity would a loving God of the universe really damn and destroy a mansion for seeing a hallucination under those circumstances especially one that can't be prepared for by the Holy Bible outside of the fact Satan masquerades an angel of light but without knowing what that looks like I am clueless to dark spiritual things but I opened up myself up reading satanic screenplays a couple of them that glorified Satan which is why I didn't have peace of going to Austin I felt God calling to be a pastor and that is when the Yellow Cross showed up pretending to be Jesus and getting me to bow out of my mind going crazy.
I just can't see a loving God throwing a child of his into the Antichrist position after being friends for twenty years and throwing him away to Satan it doesn't sound like God, Jesus, Holy Spirit to do something like that. It also doesn't sound like blasphemy seeing a yellow light how is that blasphemy and bowing not knowing it is Satan being clueless God being unforgiving over that doesn't sound like God's Character as loving when he is not vengeful Jesus is the good Shepard and Easter is coming up and I still love Jesus and the Holy Bible but my mind says Jesus doesn't love me and hates me and that I blasphemed mixing up Satan and Jesus but Pastor Nathan told me not to worry about that I can't change it I realize my mistake now why would God not forgive it doesn't sound like God of the Bible and I read my Bible everyday and pray and Klove at night so why would he not let me into Heaven when we have been friends for twenty years and had great times together. Mom, Dad, Family, Friends, Churches, and Pastors say it is my brain infection that I have could a brain infection cause a blue light that says beast and see satanic things.
In my yearbook I wrote I want to follow Jesus Christ and make it as a screenwriter and I still love Jesus but I don't feel forgiven for mixing up Jesus and Satan do you think Jesus is still mad at me for my confusion I heard a voice today hinting he is not mad about it that it is a hallucination and I am sure it is what I hope for so I heard it because it gave hope of heaven but my anxiety in my stomach bothers me mom says it isn't Satan in my stomach or brain.
Knowing that Satan masquerades as an angel of light, they were once so anxious not to fall into the deceiver’s trap that they mistakenly confused an act of God for a trick of the devil. The Lord has now graciously opened their spiritual eyes and they are filled with remorse for being overzealous in their desire to reject the devil’s trickery. This happened to me in the shower the Lord's opened my eyes but I feel unforgiving for my action I feel punished. On the floor in Tehama County Mental Health I saw you were going to make a great of men now your a fisher for the devil which scared me. Everyone around me tells me I am eternally secure in Jesus everyone around me knows I love Jesus and would never hurt in my right mind outside of inappropriate content addiction and blasphemous thoughts in my head. I worry Satan took advantage of my blasphemous thoughts and forced me to bow to him in a trick now he took my heart and brain now.
I can't preach gospel and get married I feel anxious that I went from the Celestial City on my path going straight to Vanity Fair of Austin and Script Reading and the judge hits the gavel and forces Christian to bow to a hallucination damning him to Vanity Fair sending back to the City of Destruction.
The thing is Christian followed the Book and I follow book the difference is I hallucinated Satan in the shower and praying to Jesus I instantly thought to my brain it is Jesus my heart wasn't sure but my brain forced me to since it happened so fast. I am worried the end of the world is imminent and the Antichrist will be revealed soon and that I was the Antichrist. Mom, Dad, Church, Family, Friends, and Pastors tell me it is a brain infection and scitzphrenia, ocd, pandas, and autism that I am safe and secure in Jesus I love his photos. I thought Jesus promised me to never leave or forsake I thought he would always be their for me I lost everyone I love beside my parents who have been consistent but I never thought Satan could steal from Jesus I feel lost and confused reading my Bible listening to Pastors and praise music confused that Jesus abandoned me and that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit on accident and that he will never forgive my accident 10 minutes in the shower damned me to hell after living a Godly life and being a man after God's own heart like King David makes no sense to me following the Bible did Satan have more power to show up to me but it violates 1 Corinthians 10:13 you can only face temptations known to man so how was I supernaturally tempted unbibically by Satan.
I doubt God know and it makes me sad why did God allow me to be tricked by Satan when I read my Bible, Listen to Klove, and Pastors and truly want to live for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit not be evil Antichrist/False Prophet Mom and Dad, Church, Family, Friends, and Pastors say it is a dream and impossible for Satan to snatch from Jesus but did he I fear he did with the blue light but I do have a brain infection. I love Jesus and I get emotional thinking I hurt him turning evil to be his enemy instead of friend and that I will never be forgiven by Jesus for an accident in the shower it worries me Mom says Jesus loves me still despite confusing Jesus and Satan.
I worry it isn't true Pastor Nathan shares the same confidence in me he knows how much I care for Jesus at man camp in September I was on fire for him and heading into October I was excited about my trip and then canceled it. Can Satan be in my brain and heart from a yellow cross? Is it possible that he stole me unbibically from Jesus did the Bible get it wrong or is it truly a hallucination from a brain infection? Why don't I feel the Holy Spirit euphoria that I felt in September that October changed everything. I get told don't rely on my feeling but I see a blue light that says Beast and that wasn't there until the Yellow Cross in October before that in September-through four years Old I felt and heard Jesus I am truly concerned that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit on accident in the Shower mixing up Jesus and Satan I would never speak against the Holy Spirit verbally but I had thoughts in my head.
What do you think would Jesus kick someone out of Heaven for a yellow cross and confusion does confusing Jesus and Satan lead to Antichrist/False Prophet. The yellow light said from Heaven to Hell and I stomach Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and told to speak against and I kept refusing but Satan kept saying he would send me to Hell. I kept crying out to Jesus but felt damned in the psych Hospital I wake everyday feeling damned with a brain infection my mom says scitzphrenia and reassures me of Jesus love for me so does Pastor Nathan but I am worried that I am doomed over an accident it doesn't sound like Jesus character to damn a mentally ill child for confusing Jesus and Satan on accident praying to Jesus he knows I was praying and he knew I bowed thinking it was Jesus with a pure heart.
Dad tells me not to worry due to that fact but I see Satan and the blue light I worry I am not going to be a pastor and get married that I will be the Antichrist/False Prophet. I love Easter and the Resurrection and Good Friday and I am sad that Jesus doesn't like me for mixing him up on accident giving me the Beast committing the unforgivable sin Jesus is my enemy makes my heart hurt I love him and his photos I simply lost my sanity bowing to a yellow cross unaware of evil there was a schizophrenic highschool kid did the same thing with a fish and he wasn't punished thinking he would get superpowers. My heart loves Jesus and I would never hurt him but I did now I dream about Hell instead of Heaven and see Satan and worry and fear that I am damned again. Does Jesus love me?
Unforgivable? The unpardonable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Bible help and hope
I watched a free Pilgrims Progress movie yesterday and tonight which was good John Bunyan also saw hell open up and thought he was damned to hell and I can relate that but Jesus got him through it and he wrote Grace Abounding the Chief of Sinners. I got the link from Bible Gateway they are giving it away for free for Co-Vid19 infection it popped up on my e-mail I just signed up for the verses of the day. The Pilgrims Progress tells a great story about Christian on his journey to the Celestial City from the City of Destruction and even he got trapped by Satan's trick on pride he stumbled and got off course and got captured nearly sent back to the city of destruction. Kind of like the yellow cross hallucination has me worried that I am back in sin and failure after loving Jesus for twenty years but Jesus saw him through to the end of his journey.
I realize that the Holy Bible is true so whatever is going on with the blue light and yellow cross isn't reality. I talked to Pastor Nathan he is my spiritual mentor and he told me not to worry I am eternally secure despite my brain condition and me and mom watched Little Country Haven livestream a great message about the tabernacle. I also listened to a song no longer slave by Bethel Music great song inspiring stuff. No Longer A Slave to Fear but A Child of God adopted and can't get unadopted by God or lose your mansion based on John 6, John 10, 1 Corinthian 10:13, Romans 8 all contradict the Blue Light that says Beast and the Yellow Cross in the shower so Satan must of lied about my mansion being destroyed as it doesn't line up with scripture. Jesus doesn't destroy mansion based on John Chapter 6 Jesus does the will of the father to lose no one which includes me in the equation of eternal life. A dream/hallucination is not a sin my pastor tells me the ten minutes in the shower seeing the yellow cross/blue light is not a sin.
What concerns me on the floor it said blasphemy of the Holy Spirit blue light said when I was reading Galatians 5 and that is when the Beast incoming occurred and I saw 666 stomach which scared me and told God if I had 666 would you forgive me and I said paranoid schizophrenic things to God that day on October 9 I hadn't heard his voice or felt his presence
I feel anxiety now and feel condemned to hell as an Antichrist/False Prophet and yet despite seeing hell open up and the yellow light and saying Jesus save me and being told it is too late there is a voice despite the silence that makes me ponder and question I have a certifiable mental illness in scitzphrenia that went diagnosed for 24 years, I have severe brain swelling in Pandas, Autism, OCD Scrupulosity would a loving God of the universe really damn and destroy a mansion for seeing a hallucination under those circumstances especially one that can't be prepared for by the Holy Bible outside of the fact Satan masquerades an angel of light but without knowing what that looks like I am clueless to dark spiritual things but I opened up myself up reading satanic screenplays a couple of them that glorified Satan which is why I didn't have peace of going to Austin I felt God calling to be a pastor and that is when the Yellow Cross showed up pretending to be Jesus and getting me to bow out of my mind going crazy.
I just can't see a loving God throwing a child of his into the Antichrist position after being friends for twenty years and throwing him away to Satan it doesn't sound like God, Jesus, Holy Spirit to do something like that. It also doesn't sound like blasphemy seeing a yellow light how is that blasphemy and bowing not knowing it is Satan being clueless God being unforgiving over that doesn't sound like God's Character as loving when he is not vengeful Jesus is the good Shepard and Easter is coming up and I still love Jesus and the Holy Bible but my mind says Jesus doesn't love me and hates me and that I blasphemed mixing up Satan and Jesus but Pastor Nathan told me not to worry about that I can't change it I realize my mistake now why would God not forgive it doesn't sound like God of the Bible and I read my Bible everyday and pray and Klove at night so why would he not let me into Heaven when we have been friends for twenty years and had great times together. Mom, Dad, Family, Friends, Churches, and Pastors say it is my brain infection that I have could a brain infection cause a blue light that says beast and see satanic things.
In my yearbook I wrote I want to follow Jesus Christ and make it as a screenwriter and I still love Jesus but I don't feel forgiven for mixing up Jesus and Satan do you think Jesus is still mad at me for my confusion I heard a voice today hinting he is not mad about it that it is a hallucination and I am sure it is what I hope for so I heard it because it gave hope of heaven but my anxiety in my stomach bothers me mom says it isn't Satan in my stomach or brain.
Knowing that Satan masquerades as an angel of light, they were once so anxious not to fall into the deceiver’s trap that they mistakenly confused an act of God for a trick of the devil. The Lord has now graciously opened their spiritual eyes and they are filled with remorse for being overzealous in their desire to reject the devil’s trickery. This happened to me in the shower the Lord's opened my eyes but I feel unforgiving for my action I feel punished. On the floor in Tehama County Mental Health I saw you were going to make a great of men now your a fisher for the devil which scared me. Everyone around me tells me I am eternally secure in Jesus everyone around me knows I love Jesus and would never hurt in my right mind outside of inappropriate content addiction and blasphemous thoughts in my head. I worry Satan took advantage of my blasphemous thoughts and forced me to bow to him in a trick now he took my heart and brain now.
I can't preach gospel and get married I feel anxious that I went from the Celestial City on my path going straight to Vanity Fair of Austin and Script Reading and the judge hits the gavel and forces Christian to bow to a hallucination damning him to Vanity Fair sending back to the City of Destruction.
The thing is Christian followed the Book and I follow book the difference is I hallucinated Satan in the shower and praying to Jesus I instantly thought to my brain it is Jesus my heart wasn't sure but my brain forced me to since it happened so fast. I am worried the end of the world is imminent and the Antichrist will be revealed soon and that I was the Antichrist. Mom, Dad, Church, Family, Friends, and Pastors tell me it is a brain infection and scitzphrenia, ocd, pandas, and autism that I am safe and secure in Jesus I love his photos. I thought Jesus promised me to never leave or forsake I thought he would always be their for me I lost everyone I love beside my parents who have been consistent but I never thought Satan could steal from Jesus I feel lost and confused reading my Bible listening to Pastors and praise music confused that Jesus abandoned me and that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit on accident and that he will never forgive my accident 10 minutes in the shower damned me to hell after living a Godly life and being a man after God's own heart like King David makes no sense to me following the Bible did Satan have more power to show up to me but it violates 1 Corinthians 10:13 you can only face temptations known to man so how was I supernaturally tempted unbibically by Satan.
I doubt God know and it makes me sad why did God allow me to be tricked by Satan when I read my Bible, Listen to Klove, and Pastors and truly want to live for God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit not be evil Antichrist/False Prophet Mom and Dad, Church, Family, Friends, and Pastors say it is a dream and impossible for Satan to snatch from Jesus but did he I fear he did with the blue light but I do have a brain infection. I love Jesus and I get emotional thinking I hurt him turning evil to be his enemy instead of friend and that I will never be forgiven by Jesus for an accident in the shower it worries me Mom says Jesus loves me still despite confusing Jesus and Satan.
I worry it isn't true Pastor Nathan shares the same confidence in me he knows how much I care for Jesus at man camp in September I was on fire for him and heading into October I was excited about my trip and then canceled it. Can Satan be in my brain and heart from a yellow cross? Is it possible that he stole me unbibically from Jesus did the Bible get it wrong or is it truly a hallucination from a brain infection? Why don't I feel the Holy Spirit euphoria that I felt in September that October changed everything. I get told don't rely on my feeling but I see a blue light that says Beast and that wasn't there until the Yellow Cross in October before that in September-through four years Old I felt and heard Jesus I am truly concerned that I blasphemed the Holy Spirit on accident in the Shower mixing up Jesus and Satan I would never speak against the Holy Spirit verbally but I had thoughts in my head.
What do you think would Jesus kick someone out of Heaven for a yellow cross and confusion does confusing Jesus and Satan lead to Antichrist/False Prophet. The yellow light said from Heaven to Hell and I stomach Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit and told to speak against and I kept refusing but Satan kept saying he would send me to Hell. I kept crying out to Jesus but felt damned in the psych Hospital I wake everyday feeling damned with a brain infection my mom says scitzphrenia and reassures me of Jesus love for me so does Pastor Nathan but I am worried that I am doomed over an accident it doesn't sound like Jesus character to damn a mentally ill child for confusing Jesus and Satan on accident praying to Jesus he knows I was praying and he knew I bowed thinking it was Jesus with a pure heart.
Dad tells me not to worry due to that fact but I see Satan and the blue light I worry I am not going to be a pastor and get married that I will be the Antichrist/False Prophet. I love Easter and the Resurrection and Good Friday and I am sad that Jesus doesn't like me for mixing him up on accident giving me the Beast committing the unforgivable sin Jesus is my enemy makes my heart hurt I love him and his photos I simply lost my sanity bowing to a yellow cross unaware of evil there was a schizophrenic highschool kid did the same thing with a fish and he wasn't punished thinking he would get superpowers. My heart loves Jesus and I would never hurt him but I did now I dream about Hell instead of Heaven and see Satan and worry and fear that I am damned again. Does Jesus love me?
Unforgivable? The unpardonable sin of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Bible help and hope
