Physical Intimacy questions...

[unjustwar]

how far do you go in your relationship. Many different people have interpretations for what the Bible says, but i want to know what your boundries are personally. does it stop at kissing or what?

 

[Cherub8]

Kissing, that depends on the couple. Some couples can kiss and give glory to God at the same time. Others, it leads them down roads they shouldn't go until marriage. So it really depends on the couple involved. What are your thoughts?

My preference is, I think it would be wonderful to wait until the wedding day, when the pastor says "you may kiss the bride." I have been commited to this. Meaning, I have never been kissed.

 

[TJMan2050]

Yes its different for everybody, it depends on what is a temptation for you... God has give me the ability in that even with kissing, or frenching if you wish, I don't feel tempted to go further, but not everybody is like that.

 

[loved]

Mine and my SO's boundaries are:

French kissing, not so much now days though
Hugging, I don't mind my SO patting my knee/leg, and thats it I think.


There has been a lot more in the past, but we both decided that we should just stick to the kissing unti we're married, to avoid temptation etc.

I'm happy with just cuddling and kissing though,it means so much more to me.

 

[StephanieD]

I'd recommend reading "Boy Meets Girl" by Joshua Harris. (I'd only recommend this for people in a relationship). Joshua Harris has some good starting points of how far is too far. I'd also like to add that you want to make sure you don't treat your SO like they are your spouse. There is a chance that they may be someone elses spouse in the future, so you want to make sure that you are respecting them, their bodies and their emotions. It's almost like you are protecting your SO from having any emotional baggage in the future. So, I'd set limits on what part of your body they can/cannot touch. You also know what things will cause you to want to go further in a physical way, so you want to limit the starting points or be able to stop it before it goes to far. It's also good to limit alone-time if you are tempted. My main goal with my bf is not to do things or not allow him to do things that would cause him to stumble.

 

[TJMan2050]

Good point StephanieD, imagine having to share what you did with some other chick to your spouse at some point, or even worse in some peoples eyes is to tell your ex's spouse what you did. Yeah... there are many ways to determine what is too far, I think its just about following God, what is right for you in the eyes of God, can you stay pure at the level you are at?

 

[Cherub8]

I agree...read Harris's book. His advice is very straight-forward and God-centered.

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

I won't kiss a man until he's my husband. I have before and it only lead to more.

I kiss his cheek and the top of his head. I hug him (I like it more then kissing) and hold his hand. That's it.

 

[invisiblebabe]

Holding hands, hugging, leaning on each other, playing with each other's hair are all fine.

Kissing will wait 'til engagement at least.... and French kissing and anything more, after the wedding

 

[markdw82]

I think it is wise to wait to kiss until getting close to the wedding. I too, like Lizzi4Christ, know what it is like to have kissed and had it lead beyond what I had intended. It is easy to get caught up in things and start compromising what you believe. For some people, it might not be a problem, however I do recommend knowing your limits and sticking to them and respecting the limits of your S.O. even when that means waiting to do what you want to do now.

My limits are the same as invisiblebabe's...and that's good since I'm going out with her.

 

[Ceris]

I just wanted to say that many of you here seem very very commited to maintaining a pure relationship.

 

[kiora]

Mine and my SO's limit is french kissing (not often though)

 

[ardeur]

These are the physical things my boyfriend and I do togther:
Hold hands
Link arms
A little bit of tickling (only bottoms of feet, knees, and elbows).
The only kiss we've shared was one on the cheek.
Hugging (not full-body).
I like to comb and play with his hair.
We snuggle up next to each other on the couch with pillows and blankets. This includes having his arm around me with my head on his shoulder or partly on his chest.

That is all I can think of that we've ever done together. Right now that is what seems most appropriate. It is too early for any more affection, and I actually think (and hope and pray) that is about as far as it ever will go until marriage (but that is looking far into the future).

 

[PurpleBunny]

Well, our limits when the relationship started were anything that felt good excluding actual intercourse.

When we got engaged we started having sex too.

Almost four months ago we came to the realization that our justifications of it weren't correct and we stopped, and now we don't really have a limit, per se. We just don't put ourselves in the situation where we could do something we know isn't right. (We did slip up once). After all, there's only six months until the stuff we want to do is fine and dandy... and we want it to be special. Anyway, yeah... basically we just make sure we don't have the privacy to mess around anymore, and that keeps us in check. If you can't do it in front of your parents, you shouldn't be doing it until you're married!

 

[kiora]

what a good way to put it ! I ahve never really thought about it that way

 

[Pope Gonzo]

That just depends on how old-school your parents are

The limit that seems to work best for us is no kissing while horizontal. This may sound weird at first, but if we're laying down watching TV or a movie, it's kind of hard to get into trouble if you don't kiss - at least for us.

The important part is see where God's happy with you.

 

[TJMan2050]

That's an interesting take on it Pope, but limits all depends on the person...

 

[Living4Him03]

I don't have a s/o at the moment. If I did the boundaries would probably be brief kisses, kisses on the cheek, hugs, and snuggling as long as we aren't laying on top of each other or something. Otherwise, it has lead me in the past to many things that I regret so much, and would likely do so if a situation arose where I was engaging in more than the above things listed.

 

[Jesus_Freak4]

The Bible says to remain sexually pure - of course that is different for different people. I've kissed my girlfriend - we haven't gone any furthur but neither have we limited ourselves kissing, which could have meant we'd take it further than we should. My girlfriend seems to be a lot more comfortable in certain situations, whereas I often feel a bit as though we shouldn't be getting ourselves in particular situations.

 

[markdw82]

These are the physical things my boyfriend and I do togther:
Hold hands
Link arms
A little bit of tickling (only bottoms of feet, knees, and elbows).
The only kiss we've shared was one on the cheek.
Hugging (not full-body).
I like to comb and play with his hair.
We snuggle up next to each other on the couch with pillows and blankets. This includes having his arm around me with my head on his shoulder or partly on his chest.

That is all I can think of that we've ever done together. Right now that is what seems most appropriate. It is too early for any more affection, and I actually think (and hope and pray) that is about as far as it ever will go until marriage (but that is looking far into the future).

That sounds rather familiar (i.e. my girlfriend and I share those boundaries)...with the exception of the tickling or kissing on the cheek (we haven't done that before). Though, I'm not sure what you mean by "not full-body."