Physical attraction

[mustang333]

I got some advice from a married man who told me that the girl I marry won't necessarily be a supermodel but she should be reasonably physically attractive to me. By reasonably attractive I think he meant that she is pretty or cute to me but she is not so good looking that she is "out of my league" or she is not attractive at all to me and I'm out of her league.

Do you agree with this or do you have your own opinion about how physically attracted you should be to your SO?

 

[skysthelimit]

Speaking strictly from my own feelings, I believe that your SO should be attractive to you in some way because it's something we all desire whether it's important or not in the big scheme of things. I don't know any couples or friends of mine that aren't at least a little bit attracted to their SO physically.

 

[dobieman0488]

i think you should be attracted to your spouse. the bible commands christian married couples to have sex often. Need I say more?

 

[explodingboy]

I'm wondering if its a wording issue, but the idea behind it makes sense to me.

It is important to be attracted to your other half, but, you shouldn't just be attracted to the physical side, because your other half will age, and they will sag like it or not gravity always wins. Just because the lass has found a guy with a great six pack doesn't mean it wont droop into a beer gut later on. If you become so fixated upon how the other used to look when you first met, your going to be in for a very rough time.

 

[peanutbutter12]

There needs to be physical attraction in a healthy relationship with someone you're going to consider marrying. If you lack that, you will have many issues down the road that could cause massive strife within your relationship, especially when it comes to intimacy.

 

[Luther073082]

I would just think you want to think of it as part of a whole. When you are marrying someone you have to look at EVERYTHING. Not only those things that might make you love someone, but also those things that make for a long term partnership in marriage.

Perhaps much like how a person handles their money physical attraction may not affect a Christian much until after you are married. But you have to know that EVERYTHING about them will probably affect you in some way or another after you are married. So this is just one a whole host of considerations you need to take into account.

Just like if you want kids and he/she doesn't, it doesn't affect you right away. But after you are married that issue comes up. With this you may not be having sex now, but after you are married you should be. And a lack of attraction is going to cause problems with these things.

 

[mustang333]

I would just think you want to think of it as part of a whole. When you are marrying someone you have to look at EVERYTHING. Not only those things that might make you love someone, but also those things that make for a long term partnership in marriage.

I see what you are saying, though it takes time to see what someone is really like and to find out all their life plans. Their physical attraction is somewhat obvious from the beginning so that's always been an easy red flag to spot for me.

Just like a lot of things in life, the way God intended things to be has been skewed by the world. I think we know in our hearts when we really are attracted to someone, physical and emotionally. The world is constantly trying to tell us how we are supposed to be attracted to someone else, and there might be some truth mixed in but surely the world has mixed some lies in as well.

 

[waxlion10]

I think physical attraction and its importance differs from couple to couple. It's the first thing my bf noticed about me (I'm athletic and considered fairly attractive by society's standards, though not a drop dead gorgeous head-turner). It's definitely not the first thing I noticed about him...he is not ugly; he's moderately handsome and has a very nice body.

Really and truly, though, I am more physically attracted to him than anyone in the world. The fact that I know his character and how much he loves me makes me want to oogle him more than a naked Brad Pitt in a "Troy" sex scene.

Honestly, though, I could never date, and I date with the purpose of marriage so... I obviously couldn't marry 'em either... someone whom I did not find at least moderately physically attractive.

 

[Blank123]

i think he was probably trying to advise you not to be overly concerned with your future wife's appearance. If you're in love with her then chances are she will be beautiful to you, even if the world might not agree.

 

[The Nihilist]

Marry the hottest girl you can get that you can also tolerate. Or at least make that criterion your lowest standard.

 

[Bootstrap]

Really and truly, though, I am more physically attracted to him than anyone in the world. The fact that I know his character and how much he loves me makes me want to oogle him more than a naked Brad Pitt in a "Troy" sex scene.

Honestly, though, I could never date, and I date with the purpose of marriage so... I obviously couldn't marry 'em either... someone whom I did not find at least moderately physically attractive./quote]

I agree with both parts of this.

I don't think physical attractiveness is objective, though. If I'm really in love with someone, I find them attractive, and I laugh at their jokes.

A woman who has a 10 character and a 6 body is extremely attractive, a woman with a 10 body and a 6 character is nice to look at, but not someone I want to get close to.

I think it's very important to be physically attracted, but you don't want that attraction to be based only on physical appearance. No matter who you marry, 50 years from now, they will look 50 years older. And their character will be 50 years more mature.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

I got some advice from a married man who told me that the girl I marry won't necessarily be a supermodel but she should be reasonably physically attractive to me. By reasonably attractive I think he meant that she is pretty or cute to me but she is not so good looking that she is "out of my league" or she is not attractive at all to me and I'm out of her league.

Do you agree with this or do you have your own opinion about how physically attracted you should be to your SO?

You need to be physically attracted to them, but there's got to be other kinds of attraction and compatibilies, too. The latter are most important because those are hopefully going to be enduring characteristics, while looks are only temporary characteristics that will constantly change throughout the lifespan. Proverbs 31:30: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." (Obviously the general idea portrayed in this verse can be applied to men as well as women.)

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

some people are attracted to very unattractive people both inside and out. I think it's due to poor self esteem on their part, because they think they can't do any better. I find this sad.

I think it is important to be attracted to your spouse.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

some people are attracted to very unattractive people both inside and out. I think it's due to poor self esteem on their part, because they think they can't do any better. I find this sad

This is true. I find it sad as well. That's why it is important for people to deal with big issues like low self esteem before getting out into the dating world.

 

[The Nihilist]

Yeah right, low self esteem is how regular dudes get hot ladies. It is awesome.

 

[Bampot]

I didn't really notice my boyfriend's physical attributes until I started falling for him. He's a very handsome man. Every one of his physical features amazes me. Beautiful eyes, wonderful hair, perfect hands, full lips, and I could go on and on. The point is, I would of never noticed how attractive he is if it wasn't for his personality.

I think there needs to be a balance. There's no way a romantic relationship is going to work if you're not truly attracted to the person in both body and mind. You can't have one without the other, in my opinion. Although, I think if you really love someone you'll find them attractive regardless.

 

[liftmeup]

Marry the hottest girl you can get that you can also tolerate. Or at least make that criterion your lowest standard.

lol...

How about leave it in God's hands and let his spirit tell you when you're right for each other.

 

[California Dreamin']

I believe my fiance is really attractive, but other people may not think so, I do. Everyone has different taste.

 

[* kittie *]

Yes...nothing wrong or superficial about it. I wouldn't necessarily put the emphasis on her being pretty, but her being pretty to YOU. Which...yea...doesn't mean she needs to be a supermodel.

 

[The Nihilist]

lol...

How about leave it in God's hands and let his spirit tell you when you're right for each other.

I think it is gross hubris to think that a god who didn't stop genocide will take an active role in who you marry.

No offense.