Physical Abuse In Marriage..

[Duckybill]

So are remarried Christians beyond forgiveness? What about those who remarried when they weren't believers? What should those Christians do?

God is quite merciful to the truly repentant. But the Scripture is clear.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

 

[Zeena]

Again, the issue is re-marriage. I don't see anywhere in the NT where it is permitted for Christians.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

Umm, since when it is unrighteous to flee from abuse? Was not Saint Paul, let down by a basket to escape certain destruction, being lead by the Spirit?

1 Corinthians 10:23, 29-30
All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.
..Conscience, I say, not thine own, but of the other: for why is my liberty judged of another man's conscience? For if I by grace be a partaker, why am I evil spoken of for that for which I give thanks .

 

[Zeena]

So are remarried Christians beyond forgiveness?

Who says they need forgiveness if the mate broke his/her vows? That person is FREE!

What about those who remarried when they weren't believers? What should those Christians do?

1 Corinthians 7:21
Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.

 

[Zeena]

Cool. Then I'll die a very happy adulteress, as I left a man who raped me on a daily basis and beat me to the point of a miscarriage and nearly losing the hearing in my left ear and God put me in the path of a wonderful man. My husband is gentle, compassionate and kind. I didn't know if I'd ever trust a man again, but God showed me the beauty of love through this man. To portend my marriage is anything but a reflection off God's love and glory is offensive to me.

Oh I thank God for making a way OUT for you!!!

And a (the) Way into Him!

And I don't see anywhere in the Bible where it is permitted for Christians to use the internet, for women to wear pants, or for churches to have potluck suppers once a month either, but clearly these things take place in the lives of Christians.

And, unless words in the Bible have different meanings under the original translation to English, adultery is when a man or woman voluntarily has sexual intercourse with someone other than their spouse.

Also, surely Christ's forgiveness is extended to those who are remarried. After all, if the drunk or liar or swindler can be forgiven, can't the person allegedly committing adultery by being remarried?

all valid points.

 

[Zeena]

The issue is re-marriage.

No, the issue is physical abuse in marriage, not re-marriage (though it too is relevant, imo).

Now, how's about actually responding to my post?

 

[LJSGM]

God did not mean for marriage to be slavery where the spouse can sin against their spouse in whatever manner they choose and there's nothing you can do about it. There are boundaries even in marriage. The true sin is in what caused the divorce, not in the divorce it's self. With abuse, there is no blame assigned to the victum, they are 100% justified in leaving. The divorce was caused by the abuser in the same way that a divorce caused by adultery is the fault of the adulterer.

 

[CreedIsChrist]

Cool. Then I'll die a very happy adulteress, as I left a man who raped me on a daily basis and beat me to the point of a miscarriage and nearly losing the hearing in my left ear and God put me in the path of a wonderful man. My husband is gentle, compassionate and kind. I didn't know if I'd ever trust a man again, but God showed me the beauty of love through this man. To portend my marriage is anything but a reflection off God's love and glory is offensive to me.

unfortunately that is not what Christ said in the gospel. And while wife beating and rape is a horrid thing 2 wrongs still don't make a right..

"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. -Luke 16:18

Matthew 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband

1 Corinthians 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife

 

[katautumn]

unfortunately that is not what Christ said in the gospel. And while wife beating and rape is a horrid thing 2 wrongs still don't make a right..

Too bad. It's a done deal. I'm divorced. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I'm not sorry. Period. I'm not going to argue with you people who advocate people staying in an abusive marriage as if God sees that as a fitting punishment for someone "picking the wrong spouse".

 

[LJSGM]

unfortunately that is not what Christ said in the gospel. And while wife beating and rape is a horrid thing 2 wrongs still don't make a right..

"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. -Luke 16:18

Matthew 5:32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband

1 Corinthians 7:11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife

I don't think you truely know God then...

The woman at the well had FIVE men, and the man that she was with was not her man and Jesus STILL offered her living water. What was more important to Him, Her or moses law?

 

[LJSGM]

You are mistaken to say that God has made rules just because he wants obediance no matter what, the rules are there for our own wellbeing, that's what God cares about, our wellbeing, and yes it's biblical....

 

[katautumn]

You are mistaken to say that God has made rules just because he wants obediance no matter what, the rules are there for our own wellbeing, that's what God cares about, our wellbeing, and yes it's biblical....

It's interesting, because it was a discussion just like this one that lead to my deconversion when I first joined CF under my old name many moons ago. I had just come out of my abusive marriage. My Baptist church, that I considered my refuge and home away from home, kicked me out. Said my unbiblical divorce brought scandal upon them and that I was not fit to be teaching children about Jesus and the Bible when I clearly had no understanding of either concept. I thought maybe, just maybe, it was some extreme view that I would eventually escape.

And I came here and a discussion came up about divorce and remarriage in the case of abuse. I was told several things in that thread:

1. I wasn't a "real" Christian because of it.
2. That if I remarried I'd be in a state of unrepentant adultery and would go to hell when I died.
3. That God valued my obedience over my happiness, that our happiness is unimportant to Him.
4. That I should have prayed harder for my abusive husband and God would have restored our marriage. That I had allowed my ex to sin by not trying to help him be "cured" of his abusive tendencies.
5. That being abused was my punishment from God for not marrying the person it was His will for me to, so I needed to endure the punishment for the sake of repentance.
6. That it was my own fault for marrying someone who was abusive.

Funny how these false accusations were so callously thrown at me by men or women who had never been married before. Pretty easy to cast stones from those glass houses.

 

[LJSGM]

Mark 2:26-28 (New International Version)


26In the days of Abiathar the high priest, he entered the house of God and ate the consecrated bread, which is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions." 27Then he said to them, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."

Laws and rules are there for our own wellbeing...

In the old testament God says that if a man takes a slave as a wife, if he does not feed her or take care of her that she is free to leave....

 

[Zeena]

You are mistaken to say that God has made rules just because he wants obediance no matter what, the rules are there for our own wellbeing, that's what God cares about, our wellbeing, and yes it's biblical....

REPS!

God BLESS you!

 

[JWNEWMAN]

Here's the rule of thumb to guide us in our decision making:

The letter kills but the Spirit gives life. Go and study this concept before casting judgement upon anyone.

Consider also how accepting Jesus was of those the Pharisees sought to kill. How accepting He is of you when you fail. We will be judged with the same measure we ourselves use regarding others.

I'd be careful before declaring someone excluded from heaven because they left a relationship where they were being tortured. First because scripture does not say this, that is a conclusion not even an interpretation and it's based on only one set of recommendations (rules) the bible expresses and not the whole.

Pharisees are very narrow minded. Ironically the narrow path requires a broad view to comprehend the intent of the signs we are to follow on our journey home.

 

[Zeena]

Here's the rule of thumb to guide us in our decision making:

The letter kills but the Spirit gives life. Go and study this concept before casting judgement upon anyone.

Consider also how accepting Jesus was of those the Pharisees sought to kill. How accepting He is of you when you fail. We will be judged with the same measure we ourselves use regarding others.

I'd be careful before declaring someone excluded from heaven because they left a relationship where they were being tortured. First because scripture does not say this, that is a conclusion not even an interpretation and it's based on only one set of recommendations (rules) the bible expresses and not the whole.

Pharisees are very narrow minded. Ironically the narrow path requires a broad view to comprehend the intent of the signs we are to follow on our journey home.

Ditto, and, nicely said!

 

[PreachersWife2004]

Dangerous to trust in God's promises??? How sad! I'm glad that you were delivered from the evil situation. But how do you justify re-marrying by Scripture?

Matthew 5:31-32 (NKJV)
31 "Furthermore it has been said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.

The adultery comes from the sin of the person who was unfaithful. In cases of remarriage where the other spouse was unfaithful, there is no adultery on the side of the innocent spouse. If I had divorced my ex simply because I did not like him, yes, it would be adultery for me to remarry and the divorce would not have been biblical. You bold that last part and in doing so you ignore the qualifiers.

Too bad. It's a done deal. I'm divorced. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I'm not sorry. Period. I'm not going to argue with you people who advocate people staying in an abusive marriage as if God sees that as a fitting punishment for someone "picking the wrong spouse".

The thing is, they're not actually condemning you for getting out of the bad marriage. They truly believe that anyone who gets divorced cannot be remarried under any circumstances. To them, the reasons don't matter. They're reading one part of scripture and ignoring many others.

I'm right there with ya...my husband and I are very happy together and God has blessed us tremendously with a strong and prosperous congregation, four healthy wonderful boys and a marriage that's as strong as ever.

 

[Duckybill]

Umm, since when it is unrighteous to flee from abuse?

Who said it is? Not I.

 

[Duckybill]

No, the issue is physical abuse in marriage, not re-marriage (though it too is relevant, imo).

Now, how's about actually responding to my post?

I provided Scripture :

1 Corinthians 7:39 (NKJV)
39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

Your turn.

 

[Duckybill]

Too bad. It's a done deal. I'm divorced. I'm happily married to a wonderful man. I'm not sorry. Period. I'm not going to argue with you people who advocate people staying in an abusive marriage as if God sees that as a fitting punishment for someone "picking the wrong spouse".

Who has advocated staying in an abusive marriage? Again, the issue is re-marriage.

 

[Duckybill]

I don't think you truely know God then...

The woman at the well had FIVE men, and the man that she was with was not her man and Jesus STILL offered her living water. What was more important to Him, Her or moses law?

Jesus told her to stop sinning.