Personality conflicts

[NightEternal]

I have been thinking lately concerning our tendency here on this site to clash over certain issues. Some of us haven't always posted in love, and we are clearly having communication problems between one another.

While I do attribute much of this to vigorous differences in theology and personal convictions, I have come to the conclusion that there may be deeper issues involved.

In talking with those who are presently in the ministerial program in some of our colleges, they tell of being subjected to a battery of many intense personality profiles and studies. It is mandatory to assess the personalities of each theology candidate through Myers Briggs and other instruments of testing, in order to gain a clearer understanding of how thier natural personalities will be best suited for the ministry.

I began to wonder if much of the tension and conflict we have here is due to a fundamental misunderstanding of each individual's personality.

It will only get increasingly complex for us as more people join us, bringing thier own unique characters to the table of discussion. Some will invariably clash with others, and we will almost certainly make false assumptions about each other-not because of our views, but because we fail to grasp the myriad of personality traits and how they motivate us in our discussion methods.

Here is a brief profile of each personality that I came up with. This is only a rough guide, as we all have our own make-up, but it will give you a basic idea of what sorts of characters we deal with when we deal with one another:

CHOLERIC
The strongest of the personalities. Usually a natural leader, strong willed, stubborn, sure of thier rightness in any given situation. Very task-oriented, not concerned so much with the fine details of how to get there, just wants to get there. Logical, bottom line person. Not concerned with niceties, only with getting the job done. Not concerned with offending people if it gets thier point across. Aggressive and orderly. Wants everything done right, and done thier way because thier way is the right way. Overbearing at times. Controlling. Can be impatient with those who don't see things thier way, needs a certain amount of control in any given situation.

Misunderstands and clashes most with all of the personalities, especially the Phlegmatic and the Sanguine.

SANGUINE
Very extroverted, a people person to the core. Hates to be alone. Needs lots of excitement, friends, activity and socialization in order to feel content and secure. Silence and inactivity disturb them, and they want any distraction they can get from thier problems. Always a optimist, can be annoyingly positive at times. Doesn't like to be brought down, sensitive to the moods of others. Peacemaker. Doesn't like conflict, will avoid confrontation at all costs. Will not deal directly with the root of the problem. Hates to see pain and sadness. Tries to soothe the wounds of others, wants to make everyone happy. People-pleaser. Is devastated when others don't like them. Flighty, forgetful, will embellish details and facts to have an exciting story to tell. Short attention span. Prone to be hyper and a fast talker.

Misunderstands and clashes most with the Choleric and the Melancholy.

MELANCHOLY
Moody and introverted. Likes to be alone and hates crowds. Deep, deep thinker, very logical and methodical. Loves complex problems. Excels at academics. Slow moving and deliberate. Takes the time needed to do a job correctly. Concerned with the smallest details- a perfectionist. Extremely hard on themselves and others who they don't feel measure up to thier high standards. Deeply affected by things that others easily get past. Prone to depression and despair, the most sensitive of all the personalities. Will brood about things long after others have forgotten them. Takes it very personally when others disagree with them, offended by even the smallest comments. Often analyzes a situation to death before acting on it.

Misunderstands and clashes most with Sanguine and Phlegmatic.

PHLEGMATIC
Laid back and not easily ruffled. Takes a lot to get them upset, and usually remain calm and rational in any given situation. Refuses to show emotion, and is difficult to read. Deadpan, monotone speaker. Flat, dry sense of humor. Can easily let things go, quick to forgive and forget. Very slow moving, apathetic at times. Not concerned with much of anything, hesitant to take sides in a conflict. Will most likely ride the fence and look for common ground with everyone. Always takes the path of least resistance and keeps stress level very minimum. Despises pressure and responsibility, can be lazy in both thought and action. Says as little as possible so as to avoid any potential retaliation.

Misunderstands and clashes most with Choleric and Sanguine.

Where do each of you find yourselves on this chart? Does this help you better understand the problems we are experiencing here on CF? Do you think this will provide some tools in our dealings with one another, or am I out to lunch?

Thoughts and comments...

Out of 100% my test results came out 70% melancholy, 10% phlegmatic, 15% choleric and 5% sanguine. This is a pretty good balance, considering I scored much higher on the melancholy scale years ago.

 

[StormyOne]

NE you might do some research on temperament traits or personality traits... it is pop psychology at its best..... and its origins might surprise you....

 

[JonMiller]

I think that people are too unique and interesting to easily stick into these broad based bins. I think, in general, that you must try to understand every unique person...

Of course, before you have had the chance to, you have to place them into the bins of your personal experience. I think that these generic and oversimplified bins are not very useful though. If you think about people... you will realise that you don't need them.

JM

 

[NightEternal]

No one fits entirely into one area. Some may fit more in one than others (as I do with Melancholy) but we are, for the most part, comprised of a combination of all of them.

You guys can't tell me you haven't met people that fit the criteria of these categories!

 

[JonMiller]

I find my bins from personal experience do a better job stereotyping people then the bins from surface psychology.

JM

 

[StormyOne]

No one fits entirely into one area. Some may fit more in one than others (as I do with Melancholy) but we are, for the most part, comprised of a combination of all of them.

You guys can't tell me you haven't met people that fit the criteria of these categories!

the test you are referring to is too simplistic, and most psychologists worth their degree would never administer a temperament inventory because "personality" as a concept is difficult to define and harder to fit into one of four categories....

 

[StormyOne]

The four temperaments theory is an ancient system devised to understand human nature and improve people by dividing them according to their basic temperament. The four temperament categories are Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. Each category or type is defined by a list of descriptive characteristics. Then people are assigned to one or more types by matching the person with those descriptions.

As the theory has been passed down through the centuries, the descriptions of each type have been modified and expanded. Descriptive terms for each type are not always consistent among those who use the four temperaments system. For some, a particular characteristic, such as leadership, would be used to describe the Choleric; for others it would describe the Sanguine. Thus, the lists are not hard and fast. They vary according to the person who is presenting them.

Through the years, philosophers, psychiatrists, and psychologists have devised numerous typologies to classify people according to social behavior, modes of feeling and perceiving, attitudes, and even bodily physique as it might relate to temperament. http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/lahaye74.html

Now some history on how this theory developed....

This chapter is devoted to theories of temperament. Temperament is that aspect of our personalities that is genetically based, inborn, there from birth or even before. That does not mean that a temperament theory says we don't also have aspects of our personality that are learned! They just have a focus on "nature," and leave "nurture" to other theorists!

The issue of personality types, including temperament, is as old as psychology. In fact, it is a good deal older. The ancient Greeks, to take the obvious example, had given it considerable thought, and came up with two dimensions of temperament, leading to four “types,” based on what kind of fluids (called humors) they had too much or too little of. This theory became popular during the middle ages.

The sanguine type is cheerful and optimistic, pleasant to be with, comfortable with his or her work. According to the Greeks, the sanguine type has a particularly abundant supply of blood (hence the name sanguine, from sanguis, Latin for blood) and so also is characterized by a healthful look, including rosy cheeks.

The choleric type is characterized by a quick, hot temper, often an aggressive nature. The name refers to bile (a chemical that is excreted by the gall bladder to aid in digestion). Physical features of the choleric person include a yellowish complexion and tense muscles.

Next, we have the phlegmatic temperament. These people are characterized by their slowness, laziness, and dullness. The name obviously comes from the word phlegm, which is the mucus we bring up from our lungs when we have a cold or lung infection. Physically, these people are thought to be kind of cold, and shaking hands with one is like shaking hands with a fish.

Finally, there’s the melancholy temperament. These people tend to be sad, even depressed, and take a pessimistic view of the world. The name has, of course, been adopted as a synonym for sadness, but comes from the Greek words for black bile. Now, since there is no such thing, we don’t quite know what the ancient Greeks were referring to. But the melancholy person was thought to have too much of it!

These four types are actually the corners of two dissecting lines: temperature and humidity. Sanguine people are warm and wet. Choleric people are warm and dry. Phlegmatic people are cool and wet. Melancholy people are cool and dry. There were even theories suggesting that different climates were related to different types, so that Italians (warm and moist) were sanguine, Arabs (warm and dry) were choleric, Russians (cool and dry) were melancholy, and Englishmen (cool and wet) were phlegmatic!

What might surprise you is that this theory, based on so little, has actually had an influence on several modern theorists. Adler, for example, related these types to his four personalities. But, more to the point, Ivan Pavlov, of classical conditioning fame, used the humors to describe his dogs’ personalities. http://www.ship.edu/~cgboeree/eysenck.html

here is a good resource for those interested.....
http://www.ship.edu/~cgboeree/perscontents.html

 

[NightEternal]

This is not going in the direction I was hoping....

So my list has no merit or validity whatsoever?

Florence Littauer would not be pleased...

 

[TrustAndObey]

Hello. Do you even have to ask which one I am?

ALTHOUGH I don't back down from confrontation and I'm not devastated when someone doesn't like me. I just bury them in the backyard with the others.

 

[woobadooba]

I think the easy answer to the problem of why we don't get along, is for the most part because we don't take the time to really listen to each other.

Often we get into arguments about things while expressing the same ideas, but in different words.

Moreover, we are often too proud to admit to being wrong about certain things, and assume those who disagree with us to be in the wrong when in fact they are right. If we would take the time to really listen to their point of view, we would discover that it is true, or at least not as far from the truth as we thought it to be.

Of course, there are also those that are very harsh and insulting when they try to share their ideas. This only serves to break down communication, and nothing is accomplished except that greater tension has been brought about.

 

[TrustAndObey]

I have never had a problem admitting I'm wrong.

You'd have to know my mom to understand that if you were wrong, you faced the music right away or it would just get worse. I preferred just to embrace the music right away.

But if I THINK I'm right, I do know that I can be very stubborn.

You can be absolutely convinced of something and still be absolutely wrong.

 

[NightEternal]

....

 

[NightEternal]

Woob, you are definitely a Choleric with a capital 'C', garnished with a generous dose of Melancholy.

See, my list works!

Isn't labeling fun?

I'm going to start calling Trust 'Suzy Sanguine' from now on!

 

[woobadooba]

Woob, you are definitely a Choleric with a capital 'C', garnished with a generous dose of Melancholy.

See, my list works!

Isn't labeling fun?

I'm going to start calling Trust 'Suzy Sanguine' from now on!

LOL

I agree

 

[StormyOne]

This is not going in the direction I was hoping....

So my list has no merit or validity whatsoever?

Florence Littauer would not be pleased...

no it does not... as I said, its pop psychology... if you believe in the 4 temperaments, you might as well believe in astrology and the personality profiles that are done based on birth dates.... they can be just as valid, since you want to go down that road.....

 

[StormyOne]

Why Are They Popular?
The four temperaments, which had largely gone out of vogue since medieval times, have become popular among evangelical Christians in the same way that astrology has risen in popularity among nonChristians. Perhaps because of life’s ever-increasing complexities and numerous complex psychological systems, people are looking for simple ways to understand themselves and others.
The four temperaments are easy to understand and use. They offer simplistic explanations for the complexity of individual differences and propose simplistic solutions to complex problems of living. Furthermore, many Christians have confidence in the four temperaments theory because they believe it is reliable, helpful, and compatible with the Bible.
From the beginning, typologies were designed to help people understand themselves and improve their condition. Each of the four temperaments has positive and negative characteristics. Positive traits are called "strengths" and negative ones are called "weaknesses." People then supposedly understand themselves and others through identifying positive and negative traits and fitting themselves and others into one of the four categories. Then with this so-called self-knowledge, they work to enhance their strengths and overcome their weaknesses. Once they put themselves and each other into boxes they won’t be as surprised when negative traits surface in behavior. There will even be an illusion of being able to predict behavior.


http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/lahaye74.html

 

[NightEternal]

Senti and Stormy, textbook Phlegmatics. You can't get a reaction out of those guys no matter how hard you try. Also have elements of Melancholy, in that they are very analytical.

 

[StormyOne]

LaHaye introduced the four temperaments to evangelical Christians in 1966. The four temperaments had virtually been discarded after the Middle Ages and discounted as a valid means of understanding people, until a few lone souls discovered them among relics of the past and marketed them in twentieth-century language. One of those lone souls was Dr. Ole Hallesby, a Norwegian theologian who wrote Temperamentene i kristelig lys, published in 1940 and translated into English in 1962 as Temperament and the Christian Faith.2 LaHaye says he "drew extensively" from Temperament and the Christian Faith in writing his book Spirit-Controlled Temperament, which was published four years after the English translation of Hallesby’s book.3
Hallesby’s book has no footnote references to undergird his statements about each of the four temperaments. Therefore, his book is a combination of his own limited observations and the opinions of other unnamed individuals. Nevertheless, as he discusses the characteristics of a Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, or Phlegmatic person, he speaks as though what he says is fact. LaHaye follows in the same tradition. Although he does credit Hallesby for much of his material, he has no research or other support for the detailed delineation of characteristics. The categories and descriptions have been passed down through the ages in the same way as old wives’ tales, against which Scripture clearly warns (1 Timothy 4:7).


http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/lahaye74.html

 

[NightEternal]

Why Are They Popular?
The four temperaments, which had largely gone out of vogue since medieval times, have become popular among evangelical Christians in the same way that astrology has risen in popularity among nonChristians. Perhaps because of life’s ever-increasing complexities and numerous complex psychological systems, people are looking for simple ways to understand themselves and others.
The four temperaments are easy to understand and use. They offer simplistic explanations for the complexity of individual differences and propose simplistic solutions to complex problems of living. Furthermore, many Christians have confidence in the four temperaments theory because they believe it is reliable, helpful, and compatible with the Bible.
From the beginning, typologies were designed to help people understand themselves and improve their condition. Each of the four temperaments has positive and negative characteristics. Positive traits are called "strengths" and negative ones are called "weaknesses." People then supposedly understand themselves and others through identifying positive and negative traits and fitting themselves and others into one of the four categories. Then with this so-called self-knowledge, they work to enhance their strengths and overcome their weaknesses. Once they put themselves and each other into boxes they won’t be as surprised when negative traits surface in behavior. There will even be an illusion of being able to predict behavior.


http://www.psychoheresy-aware.org/lahaye74.html

D'OH!!

 

[OntheDL]

I have been thinking lately concerning our tendency here on this site to clash over certain issues. Some of us haven't always posted in love, and we are clearly having communication problems between one another.

While I do attribute much of this to vigorous differences in theology and personal convictions, I have come to the conclusion that there may be deeper issues involved.

In talking with those who are presently in the ministerial program in some of our colleges, they tell of being subjected to a battery of many intense personality profiles and studies. It is mandatory to assess the personalities of each theology candidate through Myers Briggs and other instruments of testing, in order to gain a clearer understanding of how thier natural personalities will be best suited for the ministry.

I began to wonder if much of the tension and conflict we have here is due to a fundamental misunderstanding of each individual's personality.

It will only get increasingly complex for us as more people join us, bringing thier own unique characters to the table of discussion. Some will invariably clash with others, and we will almost certainly make false assumptions about each other-not because of our views, but because we fail to grasp the myriad of personality traits and how they motivate us in our discussion methods.

Here is a brief profile of each personality that I came up with. This is only a rough guide, as we all have our own make-up, but it will give you a basic idea of what sorts of characters we deal with when we deal with one another:

CHOLERIC
The strongest of the personalities. Usually a natural leader, strong willed, stubborn, sure of thier rightness in any given situation. Very task-oriented, not concerned so much with the fine details of how to get there, just wants to get there. Logical, bottom line person. Not concerned with niceties, only with getting the job done. Not concerned with offending people if it gets thier point across. Aggressive and orderly. Wants everything done right, and done thier way because thier way is the right way. Overbearing at times. Controlling. Can be impatient with those who don't see things thier way, needs a certain amount of control in any given situation.

Misunderstands and clashes most with all of the personalities, especially the Phlegmatic and the Sanguine.

SANGUINE
Very extroverted, a people person to the core. Hates to be alone. Needs lots of excitement, friends, activity and socialization in order to feel content and secure. Silence and inactivity disturb them, and they want any distraction they can get from thier problems. Always a optimist, can be annoyingly positive at times. Doesn't like to be brought down, sensitive to the moods of others. Peacemaker. Doesn't like conflict, will avoid confrontation at all costs. Will not deal directly with the root of the problem. Hates to see pain and sadness. Tries to soothe the wounds of others, wants to make everyone happy. People-pleaser. Is devastated when others don't like them. Flighty, forgetful, will embellish details and facts to have an exciting story to tell. Short attention span. Prone to be hyper and a fast talker.

Misunderstands and clashes most with the Choleric and the Melancholy.

MELANCHOLY
Moody and introverted. Likes to be alone and hates crowds. Deep, deep thinker, very logical and methodical. Loves complex problems. Excels at academics. Slow moving and deliberate. Takes the time needed to do a job correctly. Concerned with the smallest details- a perfectionist. Extremely hard on themselves and others who they don't feel measure up to thier high standards. Deeply affected by things that others easily get past. Prone to depression and despair, the most sensitive of all the personalities. Will brood about things long after others have forgotten them. Takes it very personally when others disagree with them, offended by even the smallest comments. Often analyzes a situation to death before acting on it.

Misunderstands and clashes most with Sanguine and Phlegmatic.

PHLEGMATIC
Laid back and not easily ruffled. Takes a lot to get them upset, and usually remain calm and rational in any given situation. Refuses to show emotion, and is difficult to read. Deadpan, monotone speaker. Flat, dry sense of humor. Can easily let things go, quick to forgive and forget. Very slow moving, apathetic at times. Not concerned with much of anything, hesitant to take sides in a conflict. Will most likely ride the fence and look for common ground with everyone. Always takes the path of least resistance and keeps stress level very minimum. Despises pressure and responsibility, can be lazy in both thought and action. Says as little as possible so as to avoid any potential retaliation.

Misunderstands and clashes most with Choleric and Sanguine.

Where do each of you find yourselves on this chart? Does this help you better understand the problems we are experiencing here on CF? Do you think this will provide some tools in our dealings with one another, or am I out to lunch?

Thoughts and comments...

Out of 100% my test results came out 70% melancholy, 10% phlegmatic, 15% choleric and 5% sanguine. This is a pretty good balance, considering I scored much higher on the melancholy scale years ago.

Thanks for the effort. I'm not trying to knock you. But this is from the PMA (positive mental attitude) literatures, new age thinking.

God has the power of transforming us regardless our personalities.

Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

1 John 2

9 He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.
10 He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him. 11 But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.

The bible makes it clear that the one who hates his brother still walks in darkness.