Performance Hang-Ups

[HouseCat71]

Any singers on the worship team have some hang-ups that affect your performance?

Mine is people's expressions. I know not everyone is going to enjoy your singing, or message. Some people who come to church don't even like Christian music, let alone music! They're just there to check off: Attended Church on their weekly "try and please God" checklist. Some people just don't have any reactions, but there's a few who for whatever reason just don't like you. They don't like your face, don't like your voice, don't like singing, period. These people hang me up and because of that, I tend to look above people's faces, at inanimate things, or out the window. I know that is a no-no, but I get the shakes if I make eye contact with anyone as it is.

There is one older jealous lady who hates hearing me sing and play piano. She's always making sarcastic comments (in church or after, during fellowship!) about how I really love to sing, or oh, if we were all so talented like me....in a really bitter or sarcastic voice. It's pretty sad. Nobody listens to her, but man....she makes the most disgusted faces when I'm singing. I try not to look at her or any other grumpy people, but our church has a bunch of them.

I quit singing solos for a few months anyway, because I was the only one doing them. Nobody in our church wants to do solos, or help the worship team. We're in a musical funk in our church with very few musically talented people. It's a little frustrating.

Anyway...that's my hang-up....people's expressions. Do you have any hang-ups? If not, what gives you confidence to get through a performance? I'm curious...and it might help other singers to discuss it.

 

[tturt]

My hangup is about the lyrics - I don't want them to be about us but a lot more about The Lord instead. The religious songs at Christmas lets us know it can be done.

HouseCat71, sorry that singing in the church is somewhat negative. Know it seems like some attend just to check it off their to-do list but can you imagine what they would be like if they never came. Looking just above their faces sounds like a good strategy for now. Yes, she's jealous. Encourage you to forgive her and the others and asks Yahweh to bless them because you want your ministry emphasis to be singing to an audience of one, unto The Lord (such as I Chron 16:23 and Psa 30:4). What a great gift and awesome opportunities.

 

[Bass4Jesus]

I did my first gig as a bass player and singer in 1971, and I've been at it constantly since then, whether professionally or part-time, both secular and Christian, all the way up to and including what's hot on the Christian charts at this very moment. (Tomorrow morning my band is playing Jesus Culture's new single, "Fierce.") So, I hope you'll listen to what I have to say.

Even if you live until the 22nd century, you'll never have a performance where everyone will like you. Doesn't matter how good you are, how tuned-in you are to what the majority of the audience wants to hear, how good your backing band is -- there'll always be scowls in the audience. Ignore them. Those people aren't your problem, so don't make them your problem. This applies to secular music as well as worship music. Bring your best game to the performance, and if some people don't like it, well... don't stoop down and pick up that cross. Apply your own standard of success. And that standard should be whether you did the best possible job you were capable of, and made no mistakes.

I'm not surprised the problem people are the older ones. I've found that most of them are carrying around the burden of a lifetime of missed opportunities. Some of them have been in the same church for decades and wanted it to stay the way it was (old lady playing an organ through a couple of cheap speakers nailed to the wall), totally ignoring the desires and needs of the younger generation because -- after all -- it's always been about themselves and what they want, not what other people need. Some of those people seem to infect everything in a 50 foot radius just by walking in the front door. And worse: They seem to want to, and seem to enjoy it. ("If I'm miserable, I'm going to make sure everyone else is.") My advice: Disconnect, in every sense of the word -- visually, emotionally, spiritually.

Jesus went through this, too. Imagine the scowls on the faces of the majority of the people he preached to, not to mention on the faces of the crusty Old Covenant types, who probably knew deep down their time was up and they were about to lose their phony-baloney jobs. I guarantee you Jesus never spent five seconds sweating the fact that not everyone liked him. Nor should you.

I think women are a lot more affected by these situations than men are. I think women value personal connections more than guys do. So, in the main, they're probably more sensitive to connections not being made, or connections being broken, or signs of disapproval because that suggests a connection won't ever be made. We guys... heh. We couldn't care less. Someone out there clearly doesn't like what I'm doing on stage? Too bad. "God bless ya, bud. Scowl all you want, 'cause there are dozens of people all around you with their hands in the air, singing at the top of their lungs, with big grins on their faces. I'm going out for cheeseburgers and fries and a large Diet Coke as soon as we've loaded the truck after the second service. By then, I'll have forgotten your face. Hope you have a great day."

Yeah, you do have to be this detached to be an effective performer and stay sane.

 

[HouseCat71]

I did my first gig as a bass player and singer in 1971, and I've been at it constantly since then, whether professionally or part-time, both secular and Christian, all the way up to and including what's hot on the Christian charts at this very moment. (Tomorrow morning my band is playing Jesus Culture's new single, "Fierce.") So, I hope you'll listen to what I have to say.

Even if you live until the 22nd century, you'll never have a performance where everyone will like you. Doesn't matter how good you are, how tuned-in you are to what the majority of the audience wants to hear, how good your backing band is -- there'll always be scowls in the audience. Ignore them. Those people aren't your problem, so don't make them your problem. This applies to secular music as well as worship music. Bring your best game to the performance, and if some people don't like it, well... don't stoop down and pick up that cross. Apply your own standard of success. And that standard should be whether you did the best possible job you were capable of, and made no mistakes.

I'm not surprised the problem people are the older ones. I've found that most of them are carrying around the burden of a lifetime of missed opportunities. Some of them have been in the same church for decades and wanted it to stay the way it was (old lady playing an organ through a couple of cheap speakers nailed to the wall), totally ignoring the desires and needs of the younger generation because -- after all -- it's always been about themselves and what they want, not what other people need. Some of those people seem to infect everything in a 50 foot radius just by walking in the front door. And worse: They seem to want to, and seem to enjoy it. ("If I'm miserable, I'm going to make sure everyone else is.") My advice: Disconnect, in every sense of the word -- visually, emotionally, spiritually.

Jesus went through this, too. Imagine the scowls on the faces of the majority of the people he preached to, not to mention on the faces of the crusty Old Covenant types, who probably knew deep down their time was up and they were about to lose their phony-baloney jobs. I guarantee you Jesus never spent five seconds sweating the fact that not everyone liked him. Nor should you.

I think women are a lot more affected by these situations than men are. I think women value personal connections more than guys do. So, in the main, they're probably more sensitive to connections not being made, or connections being broken, or signs of disapproval because that suggests a connection won't ever be made. We guys... heh. We couldn't care less. Someone out there clearly doesn't like what I'm doing on stage? Too bad. "God bless ya, bud. Scowl all you want, 'cause there are dozens of people all around you with their hands in the air, singing at the top of their lungs, with big grins on their faces. I'm going out for cheeseburgers and fries and a large Diet Coke as soon as we've loaded the truck after the second service. By then, I'll have forgotten your face. Hope you have a great day."

Yeah, you do have to be this detached to be an effective performer and stay sane.

Sorry I took a while to reply. I've been out of town for a month. This is probably the best advice on this I've ever received. Thank you for taking the time to reply! I needed this.

 

[Dave-W]

I'm not surprised the problem people are the older ones. I've found that most of them are carrying around the burden of a lifetime of missed opportunities. Some of them have been in the same church for decades and wanted it to stay the way it was (old lady playing an organ through a couple of cheap speakers nailed to the wall), totally ignoring the desires and needs of the younger generation because -- after all -- it's always been about themselves and what they want, not what other people need.

YOu need to be careful with that kind of thinking.

People have a desire (and a God given one in many cases) to personally make a difference. Many in my generation have been told to wait until those before us are gone before we can take our place. And we have been patient for years or decades in that endeavor.

So we are now age 60 or more and are waiting for the 70 and 80 year olds to vacate so we can take their place. If you now send it to the 20 year olds, are you just going to skip over 40 - 60 age group?

 

[Bass4Jesus]

YOu need to be careful with that kind of thinking.

People have a desire (and a God given one in many cases) to personally make a difference. Many in my generation have been told to wait until those before us are gone before we can take our place. And we have been patient for years or decades in that endeavor.

So we are now age 60 or more and are waiting for the 70 and 80 year olds to vacate so we can take their place. If you now send it to the 20 year olds, are you just going to skip over 40 - 60 age group?

Quod erat demonstrandum.

However, if you wish to start a topic along the lines of whether one church site or a single denomination can effectively be all things to all age groups, I'd be happy to hop in. Otherwise, Dave, the fish ain't biting today.

 

[Michael Owen Bowling]

As a member of the worship team, you are there to serve the body of Christ in the best manner that God has given you. If you honor Him with your service, you have done your job. But be careful to think you know how people feel about things by their expressions and be like Christ and forgive your brother or sister instantly if need be. It breaks my heart to read posts about music dividing the church. If blowing on a kazoo on Sunday morning would bring harmony to your church, then that is what you should do.

 

[HouseCat71]

As a member of the worship team, you are there to serve the body of Christ in the best manner that God has given you. If you honor Him with your service, you have done your job. But be careful to think you know how people feel about things by their expressions and be like Christ and forgive your brother or sister instantly if need be. It breaks my heart to read posts about music dividing the church. If blowing on a kazoo on Sunday morning would bring harmony to your church, then that is what you should do.

I wish that's all it took, brother! Thanks for the post...made me giggle and I needed to smile today.
You're spot on, though....but.. easier said than done.

I suspect I have vocal chord nodules anyway...I get pain and swelling when I sing for too long. This all started after a Christmas cantata performance where I overdid it. The music leader gave me a solo that was above my range and I did it anyway, but now, I'm paying for it. It's been really bad here lately. Because of that, I think my solo days are over. I'll still sing harmony/backup as I can. That doesn't hurt too much.

After a few weeks of consideration and prayer, I feel led to stop singing solo performances. They're not for me. A solo performer has to have a certain charisma to effectively get the audience to listen to the message in their performance. I've sat in church since I was born, for 45 years listening to people sing. Some...you just can't wait till they get off the stage and some, you could listen to forever. I'll never forget this one lady who used to sing in church when I was a teenager. This lady was short and as round as she was tall. She barely had any hair, walked with a cane and had one leg shorter than the other. She looked funny, but when she got up to sing....it sent goosebumps down your arms and brought tears to your eyes. She always sang, "His Eye is on The Sparrow"...and how she sang made you really appreciate those lyrics. It made you feel comforted...knowing that Jesus always watches us. I felt that from every one of her performances. We had another lady who always sang too. She was older, thin, very pretty and always super nice to everyone. Her voice wasn't all that. She had a weird, quivering sound when she sang, but the way that she sang, you knew she sang it from the heart and while listening to the lyrics, you forgot what her voice sounded like.

Others I've heard, exceptionally professional people who looked fabulous and sang heavenly...all I saw was someone performing....not someone witnessing musically. That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm not witnessing through my music and I wish I had that...I wish I had what Mrs. Eva and Joyce did when they sang. I desperately want to spread encouragement, hope and God's love through music...but I feel like I fall short.

 

[PapaZoom]

As a member of the worship team, you are there to serve the body of Christ in the best manner that God has given you. If you honor Him with your service, you have done your job. But be careful to think you know how people feel about things by their expressions and be like Christ and forgive your brother or sister instantly if need be. It breaks my heart to read posts about music dividing the church. If blowing on a kazoo on Sunday morning would bring harmony to your church, then that is what you should do.

very true. I have played guitar for over 40 years. I still study classical and jazz today. But when the bass player left about 15 years ago, I took to playing bass because they didn't need another guitarist. I took lessons because I had very little bass knowledge. I play guitar occasionally but 95% of the time I'm on bass. I'm fine with that. Grow where you're planted. That's what I tell others and that's the advice I follow (as someone told the same to me.)

The ONE thing I found more important than anything else: don't rest on your laurels. Prepare. Practice time is for home. Rehearsal is when you get together with others. It's honoring to others to be well prepared. I play twice a month and sometimes "practice" for up to 3 hours at home even if I know the songs well.

I listen to the music, take notes (write notes on my music) and practice all the different parts (like when to come in, drop out, play soft, play loud, etc...)

The more competent I've become, the less self conscious I am. It's taken me a while to get to where I am today. Lots of bumps along the way!

my .02

 

[PapaZoom]

I wish that's all it took, brother! Thanks for the post...made me giggle and I needed to smile today.
You're spot on, though....but.. easier said than done.

I suspect I have vocal chord nodules anyway...I get pain and swelling when I sing for too long. This all started after a Christmas cantata performance where I overdid it. The music leader gave me a solo that was above my range and I did it anyway, but now, I'm paying for it. It's been really bad here lately. Because of that, I think my solo days are over. I'll still sing harmony/backup as I can. That doesn't hurt too much.

After a few weeks of consideration and prayer, I feel led to stop singing solo performances. They're not for me. A solo performer has to have a certain charisma to effectively get the audience to listen to the message in their performance. I've sat in church since I was born, for 45 years listening to people sing. Some...you just can't wait till they get off the stage and some, you could listen to forever. I'll never forget this one lady who used to sing in church when I was a teenager. This lady was short and as round as she was tall. She barely had any hair, walked with a cane and had one leg shorter than the other. She looked funny, but when she got up to sing....it sent goosebumps down your arms and brought tears to your eyes. She always sang, "His Eye is on The Sparrow"...and how she sang made you really appreciate those lyrics. It made you feel comforted...knowing that Jesus always watches us. I felt that from every one of her performances. We had another lady who always sang too. She was older, thin, very pretty and always super nice to everyone. Her voice wasn't all that. She had a weird, quivering sound when she sang, but the way that she sang, you knew she sang it from the heart and while listening to the lyrics, you forgot what her voice sounded like.

Others I've heard, exceptionally professional people who looked fabulous and sang heavenly...all I saw was someone performing....not someone witnessing musically. That's what I feel like. I feel like I'm not witnessing through my music and I wish I had that...I wish I had what Mrs. Eva and Joyce did when they sang. I desperately want to spread encouragement, hope and God's love through music...but I feel like I fall short.

You might want to see a professional singing coach. I don't sing in church but do sing to my kids at school. But I spent one summer with a professional who helped me learn to breath properly and speak in a proper range. I learned some diaphram exercises and it helped tons. I was losing my voice at work (teaching K-5 art classes) and after taking lessons, no more problems. It was amazing.

Vocal nodules are serious as far as I know. Our music teacher had them and when she did, she didn't talk at all and went to see her vocal coach. She also drank lots of water all the time. God bless.

 

[Michael Owen Bowling]

HouseCat71 - sorry to read about your throat problems. I hope you recover soon. Remember, God can and will use any member of His church who is a willing servant. Don't get too down on yourself! Whenever I get depressed or have doubts, I find doing for others is a good remedy.

 

[Gregory Thompson]

I feel what others do, and this is amplified during the unity that is common during worship, sometimes this amplifies my voice. But if someone is not happy with me, it takes extra finesse to work around it, and can be a distraction.

 

[musicalpilgrim]

I'm not surprised the problem people are the older ones. I've found that most of them are carrying around the burden of a lifetime of missed opportunities. Some of them have been in the same church for decades and wanted it to stay the way it was (old lady

Ha, Ha, ....some of us so called oldies are quite up to date...I love organs and can play quite cool choruses on them. The advantage I have is that I have decades of experience of different forms and styles of music...what a life of music, 'Music Forever' there is music in heaven, we know, and I love the new and the not so new...pipe organs or digital...great! Guitars, CD's no problem,
Blessings,
Pilgrim on the Sacred Music Pathway!

 

[HouseCat71]

Ha, Ha, ....some of us so called oldies are quite up to date...I love organs and can play quite cool choruses on them. The advantage I have is that I have decades of experience of different forms and styles of music...what a life of music, 'Music Forever' there is music in heaven, we know, and I love the new and the not so new...pipe organs or digital...great! Guitars, CD's no problem,
Blessings,
Pilgrim on the Sacred Music Pathway!

I would give a pinky toe...maybe the second to last one if I had the opportunity to learn how to play a huge gothic church pipe organ. They sound heavenly to me. I love those old organ sounds. :-D

 

[faroukfarouk]

I would give a pinky toe...maybe the second to last one if I had the opportunity to learn how to play a huge gothic church pipe organ. They sound heavenly to me. I love those old organ sounds. :-D

I expect you like the music of Bach, then, if you appreciate a huge pipe organ!

 

[faroukfarouk]

I would give a pinky toe...maybe the second to last one if I had the opportunity to learn how to play a huge gothic church pipe organ. They sound heavenly to me. I love those old organ sounds. :-D

 

[HouseCat71]

I would love to play "A Mighty Fortress Is Our Lord" on that thing....among others. But that one would sound so awesome on it.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I would love to play "A Mighty Fortress Is Our Lord" on that thing....among others. But that one would sound so awesome on it.

Or maybe something by Stuard Townend!

 

[faroukfarouk]

I would love to play "A Mighty Fortress Is Our Lord" on that thing....among others. But that one would sound so awesome on it.

Or maybe "In Christ Alone" by Stuart Townend?

 

[HouseCat71]

Or maybe "In Christ Alone" by Stuart Townend?

that is one of my favs. We play that in church quite a bit. I love to sing that one.