Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 7 months, now. We met at college, and fell in love, hard. We have a great relationship..we both love the same stuff (music, sports, etc.) and we're both involved with college stuff. We've broken up 3 times, each for the same reasons. We've never fought,or aruged, however, and we get along GREAT. We both have the same personality and we just have a wonderful time together. Everyone says that they can tell we were meant for each other, just by our looks that we give each other. The only problem is..he's Catholic, and I'm a baptist. We both realize that our relationship is getting serious, and we realize that it could result in marriage one day(he's 24 and I'm 20), therefore we take these things in consideration. We both are Christians, we just have different views on some things. He's more relaxed about it than me. I believe in going to church every Sunday, but I think he woulndn't go if I didn't go. That bothers me, b/c I want my husband and children in church with me. Also, I'm a southern baptist and have problems with alcohol..I don't believe in it. He drinks every now and then (he never gets drunk,and he even doesn't have to drink every month, just a social drinker w/his frat buddies or something). It still bothers me, and it would bother my family if they knew. They think he's great, though. He wants to feel comfortable drinking around me, therefore that's where this problem lies. He knows it bothers me, and he doesn't want it too.We both want to end up together, we're just kind of scared it won't work out b/c of these 2 problems. Should we just break up and forget about a future together? We tried, and we missed each other so much, we got back together. We just fit so well together, and we both agree we feel empty without each other. We just don't know what to do??!!
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Perfect Relationship...almost
- Thread starter chick08
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life's the adventure - got one yourself
if you're ment to be with each other, work on all the problems you have or might get. nobody said that a relationship is easy, but something to fight and work for! ask god for guidance, blessings and an open heart.
wish you all the strength you will need!
wish you all the strength you will need!
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First off, Id work on your alcohol perspective.
Wine isnt the sin, being drunk is.
I say this becuase when we get things in perspective, then we learn to deal with them better.
Once you understand that alcohol is no more sin than a TV is, but both can be used for sin....just like sex can.
Then your bf needs to understand that as a christian, he is not supposed to do anything to cause you to stumble.
If your faith is not yet strong enough to understand that alchohol isnt a sin in and of itself, then he needs to stop drinking altogether so he causes you no problems for now.
As for the Baptist/Catholic issue. You have my best wishes. Good luck.
I know a few people who are having to ''convert'' in order to marry a catholic who is devout.
Personally, I wouldnt care how much in love I was, I would never convert or change my religious views for anyone.
Hopefully thats not an issue with you 2.
The differences in your faith isnt so great that it should keep you 2 from being fine in a marriage.
The only real thing of concern I see here is that you say youve been together for only 7 months and have broken up 3 times already?
That sounds like you 2 are quite willing to bail out when troubles come along instead of working on them until they are resolved.
You cant just ''break up'' in a marriage, you are pretty much required to fix things in order to keep the marriage working.
You guys might want to work on learning to compromise and work together in EVERYTHING for a while before you even consider marriage.
Wine isnt the sin, being drunk is.
I say this becuase when we get things in perspective, then we learn to deal with them better.
Once you understand that alcohol is no more sin than a TV is, but both can be used for sin....just like sex can.
Then your bf needs to understand that as a christian, he is not supposed to do anything to cause you to stumble.
If your faith is not yet strong enough to understand that alchohol isnt a sin in and of itself, then he needs to stop drinking altogether so he causes you no problems for now.
As for the Baptist/Catholic issue. You have my best wishes. Good luck.
I know a few people who are having to ''convert'' in order to marry a catholic who is devout.
Personally, I wouldnt care how much in love I was, I would never convert or change my religious views for anyone.
Hopefully thats not an issue with you 2.
The differences in your faith isnt so great that it should keep you 2 from being fine in a marriage.
The only real thing of concern I see here is that you say youve been together for only 7 months and have broken up 3 times already?
That sounds like you 2 are quite willing to bail out when troubles come along instead of working on them until they are resolved.
You cant just ''break up'' in a marriage, you are pretty much required to fix things in order to keep the marriage working.
You guys might want to work on learning to compromise and work together in EVERYTHING for a while before you even consider marriage.
chick08 said:
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Yes...i know what you mean by bailing out....this is what we decided ...why we keep breaking up......he's been badly burned before. He was engaged, and the girl cheated on him. All his other relationships have been bad, also. So, he feels me backing off a little b/c i'm unsure of those problems I told you about, so he backs off b/c he doesn't wanna get hurt again. You see where I'm coming from? We're trying to work on that and give our relationship 150%, and not just 50%. As far as converting, I would never convert to Catholic, and he's not pressuring me to do so. I'm staying with my religious beliefs, and he's staying with his. The thing is, though, most of his views agree with mine...like he believes in being saved by faith and not by works...isn't that supposed to be one of the main conflicts??? As far as alcohol goes, I KNOW its not a sin just to drink and it is when you get drunk. I just have my own fear of alcohol, b/c of relationship stories people have about their bf's mixing with alcohol, even though I KNOW he would never get drunk. I'm trying to work on this problem, though. I really am. Thanks for all your replies!!! They are really helpful.
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- Mar 30, 2004
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My boyfriend and I have some different opinions, but he is a really new Christian. He likes to go to church with me, at my church. He had never been to a Wesleyan church before, he had gone to other churches and he checked out mine and loved it.
Because he is a new Christian, we are just taking things slow and we want things to work out and not get hurt if it does not work. We have had some really silly arguments, but everything is okay now.
My advice for you is... well, take things slow and pray. If this relationship is meant to work out, it will and some things might change. You have no idea the wonderful things God has in store for you.
He does not drink to get drunk, that is a good start!
Only time will tell, hang in there.
Because he is a new Christian, we are just taking things slow and we want things to work out and not get hurt if it does not work. We have had some really silly arguments, but everything is okay now.
My advice for you is... well, take things slow and pray. If this relationship is meant to work out, it will and some things might change. You have no idea the wonderful things God has in store for you.
He does not drink to get drunk, that is a good start!
Only time will tell, hang in there.
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AngylBelle
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- Jan 23, 2004
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chick08 said:
I am posting to you having not read the other responses because I KNOW exactly how you feel...but in the opposite way, and wanted to post heart to heart.
My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years. He is out of college, I am still in college. He is Baptist, I am Presbyterian. We too have different belief systems in many ways and it has caused some problems in the past. One of the major problems, like you have was that he is a conservative and I am more liberal. We used to bicker back and forth about these things, and after about six months into our relationship and talking about a future of marriage and kids, we both became hesistant. Our love was strong, but we were both very stubborn in our ways, and in our opinion, how could raise a family when mom and dad disagree? Guess what? We both figured out that the petty differences do not make a difference, it's the foundations and core beliefs of Christianity that are important, and those are the same in all denominations. Basically it came down to compromise, which is something that is a necessity in ALL relationships. He left his church and I left mine and we went searching for a church together that we could make OUR church instead of fighting over his and hers. We also started a little bible study for just me and him. We do it once a week and discuss and debate different passages, and help each other learn God's Word. This has been the most successful thing we have done. It helps us to better understand our differences, and ultimately it breaks down the barriers between us and allows for understanding, respect, and the ability to see that there is no "right" way of thinking.
I don't want to make this post too long, so if you would like me to share a little more about our similar situation, please PM me and I would be happy to help as much as I can. I really can relate. If you truely love each other, you will find a way to get over the differences and appreciate that if you both love Jesus, your relationship is salvagable.
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work out the problems now.. cos dun make him go church because if you go. He must go church because GOD is there.. and he truely believes in GOD. yeah.. and next time your whole family must to go church (with your kids). Try to work it out all these first.
Let a relationship be God centered. let God into your r/s. EVerything will be perfect...
Let a relationship be God centered. let God into your r/s. EVerything will be perfect...
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Thank you everybody for your reponses. I'm so glad I found this website...all your posts have made me feel 100% better about my relationship with my wonderful boyfriend. Keep them coming, b/c we can use all the help we can get!! I really like the idea about the bible study, though..I mentioned it to him, and he thought it was a great idea, also!
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